Sunday, March 30, 2008

Jordyn's Birthday










This was her last "birthday" picture (professional) taken. Her 2 yr old picture. It's hard to imagine a little girl that's locked in my mind and heart as forever 2, that today she'd be 10 yrs old. To think that 10 yrs ago I became a mother for the first time, she cried her first cries, took her first breath of air. I could never have imagined the beauty and wonder this child would and continues to bring to my life. 10 yrs is relatively a short time span when you look at the "average" life span...but when she only lived for 2 of those 10 years they seem to have gone on forever in ways. Sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday that I had her, then other times it seems like it was so long ago.






My heart is filled with joy. Today I had a message and I got to share Jordyn with the lady doing it for me. I shared my beautiful girl and her story and that although I miss her I know she's safe in the arms of Jesus, that her work on this earth was fulfilled in just 2 years 1 month and 8 days. How precious and amazing it is that she could do everything God had planned for her so quickly! What a miracle she was and always will be to us! To know that she was perfected in such a short time and to know that God's probably got a lot of imperfections to still work out of me, wow how humbling! He allowed ME, Christy, to bring such a precious, beautiful, amazing child into this world. He allowed HER to make ME a mother! He allowed her to show me how deep love is, and that in the end only love matters. In the end she left my arms for his. I NEVER have to worry about her. I know she's safe. I have such security and peace in that FACT! Most momma's don't have that for a lifetime. I don't and won't have it with my other blessings, but I have it with/for Jordyn.



God gave me this precious child 10 yrs ago today. I labored with her, in so many ways, but let me tell you my friends it was worth it. It was all worth it! To have had her for just those 2 years was more than I deserved and God allowed me to, I am by and far the luckiest mother in this world. I brought her into this world and I was allowed to hold her as she left it. Not a lot of Momma's have that. I held her tighter than I might have because of her chemo. I gave her to GOD in more ways than one, and I KNEW he had her and I was right! Tonight as March 30 ends and a new day begins I rejoice in the fact that for a moment in time God allowed me to mother this beautiful child. I'm forever grateful. I'm always humbled, and I feel so loved.

If you have a moment I ask that you go outside, look up towards Heaven and wish my baby girl a Happy 10th birthday.

Jordyn Ashleigh, I love you baby and I do miss you. Happy Birthday sweet girl.


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

9 years ago




Nine years. Yesterday marked 9 yrs ago that Jordyn was dx with leukemia. I don't know if it makes sense to others, but being over here in Germany feels like we've come full circle in many ways. I can't really explain it in words, because it's more of what's in my soul and heart.
I can say that at this point 9 yrs ago I was sitting in the German hospital literally scared out of my mind preparing for my baby girl to just die at any moment. We still had so much to learn. Tonight at 6 pm (CET) is when she started her first round of chemo. It's amazing to me in ways that I can still remember that. There are just some things burnt into your brain that you'll never forget. The reality is that yesterday was the beginning of the end for Jordyn's life as WE knew it. God knew exactly how it'd all play out, but we sure didn't.
I never dreamt that 9 yrs from yesterday I'd be the mother of 4, raising 3 of them, and in total awe of all the ways God has blessed us. I was a 22 yr old first time mother who thought she'd be raising her daughter, watching her grow up, I "thought" that at this point I'd be preparing for her to be turning 10 on Sunday. Instead I have a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 7 month old and I'm preparing for my husband to head to Iraq for the 3rd time.
Life is never what we imagined it'd be and I've met very few people who's lives have turned out the way they thought it would...for the good and for the bad.
The biggest change in the last 9 yrs has been my relationship with Christ. I didn't have much of one up until March 24, I was just really starting it. We'd started going to church regularly, but I didn't even own a bible. When I was asked what I wanted the only thing I wanted was the bible. I wanted to read his word, I wanted to be comforted by my father, even if I didn't know exactly how to express that, at the time. I see it now though. God has changed me so much and how grateful am I!
We have choices in this world, even during times when we feel like we don't. We can choose to be bitter or better. We can choose to seek him or turn our backs on him. We can choose to feel vs turning them off.
The thing is though, that even when we choose the one that is obviously not the way we should, we can change our minds. I went through being bitter, I choose to be angry with God for a while, and I even turned off my feelings to certain things for a while...yet in the end God had my heart and I could not deny that.

As I write this I hold Emma in my arms, where I once I held Jordyn, writing entries right on here. God's holding Jordyn and I know she's in the best arms she could possibly be in and I'm so thankful for that.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Ireland

That's where we're going for block leave!!! We leave in a little over two weeks and we'll be there for 7 FULL Days! I'm so excited, Chad's excited, the boys are excited, Emma doesn't realize it, but she is too! LOL We are just so blessed to be able to live in Germany and to do the traveling we're able to do! Chad's always wanted to go to Ireland and the fact that I've been able to make this happen is just beyond thrilling to me!



We'll be staying in Bed and Breakfast's and renting a car. I don't see myself doing much if any of the driving, because it just freaks me out thinking of driving on the wrong side of the road on the wrong side of the car! LOL We have been looking at rentals and tomorrow or Thursday will book a minvan. We want to make sure we have plenty of room to be comfy! Their vans are still smaller than ours, but we want to have enough room for the kids not to feel squished since we'll have to drive quite a bit. Pray that we have no issue's with the driving on the otherside of the road please!

Next start of planning will be for R&R! I have to decide where we'll go, part of that will all depend on WHEN Chad will get R&R. I have a friend who went to the Virgin Island's for part of their R&R and she said they LOVED it! I have to say that sounds REALLY awesome about now! If Chad doesn't come home around Thanksgiving or Christmas, the VI will definately be a BIG Contender. I've also thought about Spain! We have plenty of time to decide on R&R, but I want it to be special that's for sure!!

Well, I need to get to bed I have PWOC in the morning! I can't wait for our trip though and will definately post lots of pictures!! :)

Easter Facts

DID YOU KNOW................


We all realize that Easter is early this year.

The
celebration, as you might know, is always held on the 1st Sunday after

the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (this year the Equinox will
occur on March 20).

This dating of Easter is based on the same ancient lunar

calendar that the Hebrew people use to identify Passover, which is why
it moves around on our modern calendar. Easter can only be one day
earlier (March 22) but that is rare.

This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the
rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever
seen it this early. None of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day
earlier!

The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be
the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was
1913 (so if you're 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around
for that!).

The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in
the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was
1818.

So, remember this day: no one alive today has or will ever see it any
earlier than this year!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Prayers Needed

Hello friends. A precious friend of mine is in need of your prayers. Her name is Heather and her hearts with Jesus. She's a mother of 2, wife of an Army chaplain,and just one of the sweetest women you'll ever meet. She's currently in a diabetic coma, fighting off an infection that's went throughout her body. She's making small, but wonderful progress to healing, but she needs your continued prayers. You can leave messages of prayers and encouragement for her at this website:

www.caringbridge.org/visit/pray4heatherjackson

I am updating it with info from her husband, and I'm printing off the guestbook entries every evening so they will have them to look at and see how much they're loved and cared for! Our community and our friends and family and their friends and family have rallied around this precious family in support, love, and most of all prayers. Please join us.

God Bless
Christy

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Thought of the Day

" Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the
morning, Satan shudders & says...'Oh no....she's awake!!"


Isn't this just how we should live everyday? Shouldn't we be living as the Lord tells us to? That we should be walking every step of our days as Christ would have us? But how many do? I wake up and so many days my first thoughts are NOT of the Lord, my 2nd thoughts are not. Instead I get consumed by the daily tasks that lay ahead of me. I allow Satan to get into my head and "busy" me. I went through a wonderful phase where every morning I woke up and started my day in prayer. I did not get out of bed, I stayed right there with the sun shining through my curtains and I layed there and praised God, asked him to guide me throughout the day. When I was doing that my days simply went the way God intended them to go. I know that not every day was not perfect, it was not easy, but I KNEW it was just as God had intended. I need to be back there, I long to be there and starting tomorrow I will. This is a necessity of life. If we don't start our day WITH God, who ARE we starting our day with? Satan. He leaps on us immediately if we don't cry out to GOD to take hold of our day.

Don't we as Christians, have a duty to make Satan shudder? If we don't, then where's our walk with Christ? How are we doing? If Satan does not feel the least bit worried about us, then are we truly walking with Christ as Christ calls us to? I don't think so. I think that when we are at our closest with Christ is when Satan is working the hardest to get into the middle of our lives. When we don't feel or even see Satan's works of trying to disrupt our lives, is when we should be worried. When we're complacient in our lives, when we feel like we have things all figured out, is exactly when we need to be digging deeper into the word, seeking God harder than ever, stepping outside of our box. When's the last time you stepped out of your box and followed God? Don't think that because you stepped out of the box last week, last month, or last year, that that is nearly good enough. We need to be working to step out of that box every single day. We need to be seeking God's will for our lives everyday. When we don't, what ARE we doing for Christ? What are we doing for ourselves?

Tonight as I lay day, my prayer is that each of you that read this, steps outside of his/her box tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that, etc...etc.!