Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Heaviness

You know there are times in your life that you know what you should do, but you struggle to do it. I'm there tonight. My heart is so heavy with burden and sadness and selfishness. God has blessed me tremendously with a precious friend here in Germany. Bobbie came into my life through VBS. I knew quickly that I liked her when she was walking out of the bathroom after discipling her son, as I was walking in to do the exact thing with Jacob! LOL We just clicked and there was no looking back. Over time we started spending more and more time together and before I knew it a day didn't seem complete without seeing or at least talking to her.
While her husband was deployed she came to dinner here at least a few times a week, we spent most of our days at the park with our children playing together, going to sports practices, Awana, PWOC, you name it we were/are together. Some people even get us confused just if nothing else because we're ALWAYS together. She has a twin sister and she calls me her triplet. Let me tell you, she is like a sister to me in the most wonderful ways! I love her and love her family.

Now she's leaving. I still have a couple months, but it's wiping me out. I am so sad about her leaving and I will get past this phase because I want to enjoy what time we have left together, but a HUGE part of my heart is breaking and will go with her stateside. I have spent hours praying that God would just keep her here until next June. She'd still leave before Chad came home for good, but I'd only have a couple months left and I'd be ok, but for what ever reason it's not in God's plan for her to stay and it's definately not in the Army's plan. I'm happy for her, they've lived in Europe for the last 5 1/2 yrs and although they have loved it, they're ready to go back to the states.
Please, I'm begging you if you read this (even if you don't comment) pray for me. I'm weak, I'm sad, and I'm hurting. It's truly hard enough having Chad gone, but now to have my best friend leaving me it's just too much for my heart tonight.
Two other precious, wonderful friends are leaving a month later and that I think is what's pushing me just over this tearful edge. I am still blessed though, today a friend who is not connected to the military told me she'll be here for me and I love this woman and to know that her best friend just left (another woman I loved) means so much because she gets how much I'm hurting right now.

I know God will make me stronger and I am so much better for having Bobbie directly in my life for the last two 1/2 yrs and I praise him for it. Tonight I'm just really, really sad and seek prayer.

3 comments:

Trisha said...

Dearest Christy,
I will most certainly keep you in my prayers. I will pray for your peace and strength. I absolutely understand what you are experiencing. 4 years ago, a dear friend of mine....the sister I never had...moved away, clear across the US. For six years, we had spent nearly everyday together...we would take our kids to the park...out to eat...we would hang out at eachother's homes...we would even go to Target together for sport. I guess what I am getting at is that we were eachother's missing limb. Our husband's worked ALL THE TIME so we were eachother's support network. Her husband got transferred (Boarder Patrol) to Michigan and they had to move. It was painful!!! We both cried. We dreaded the day she had to move, but we tried desparately hard to fill the time left with memorable experiences. She has been gone now for 4 1/2 years. We have seen each other twice in that time....BUT, we speak EVERYDAY! MULTIPLE TIMES. Forget that I live in Ca. and she in MI. I speak to her more than I do any of my girlfriend's who live near me. But, she gets me...so much can go unsaid and I love that about our friendship. So...distance is merely a number...It is difficult at first, but tried and true friendships live on. Telephones are wonderful!!!Letters and photos are wonderful! So, I will pray for you, my dear. You will adjust to your new normal...your friendship will perservere and time will fly. I am thinking of you...

Love,
Trish
San Diego

Emily said...

I know, girl. And while you know my heart breaks for you, you know I'm worthless if I don't remind you there's only ONE you need. It's okay to be sad, but don't be deceived, my sweet friend. You still have hope, you will still bring joy to so many other women, and the Lord's plan is still as perfect as it ever was. (Don't hit me for that?!) I'm right here and I love you and it blesses my heart beyond words that God chose to give you such a good friend for such a time as this. Cherish every day. She - like me - will always be there... praise God for Vonage! ;)

Shannon said...

Christy,
We are meant to be friends! Over the past year I have come to your site so many times through others. I'm not one to comment on all...I take it personal, you know?! But when I saw your site, I already knew you and agreed that we are meant to be :)

And as far as your friend moving..I will be praying. The friend thing is always so hard when there's change involved.

Thanks for taking the first step.;) do you have an email? I didn't see one on your site.

I will talk to you soon. I'm enjoying getting to know you through your past posts.
love, Shannon