This was her last "birthday" picture (professional) taken. Her 2 yr old picture. It's hard to imagine a little girl that's locked in my mind and heart as forever 2, that today she'd be 10 yrs old. To think that 10 yrs ago I became a mother for the first time, she cried her first cries, took her first breath of air. I could never have imagined the beauty and wonder this child would and continues to bring to my life. 10 yrs is relatively a short time span when you look at the "average" life span...but when she only lived for 2 of those 10 years they seem to have gone on forever in ways. Sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday that I had her, then other times it seems like it was so long ago.
My heart is filled with joy. Today I had a message and I got to share Jordyn with the lady doing it for me. I shared my beautiful girl and her story and that although I miss her I know she's safe in the arms of Jesus, that her work on this earth was fulfilled in just 2 years 1 month and 8 days. How precious and amazing it is that she could do everything God had planned for her so quickly! What a miracle she was and always will be to us! To know that she was perfected in such a short time and to know that God's probably got a lot of imperfections to still work out of me, wow how humbling! He allowed ME, Christy, to bring such a precious, beautiful, amazing child into this world. He allowed HER to make ME a mother! He allowed her to show me how deep love is, and that in the end only love matters. In the end she left my arms for his. I NEVER have to worry about her. I know she's safe. I have such security and peace in that FACT! Most momma's don't have that for a lifetime. I don't and won't have it with my other blessings, but I have it with/for Jordyn.
God gave me this precious child 10 yrs ago today. I labored with her, in so many ways, but let me tell you my friends it was worth it. It was all worth it! To have had her for just those 2 years was more than I deserved and God allowed me to, I am by and far the luckiest mother in this world. I brought her into this world and I was allowed to hold her as she left it. Not a lot of Momma's have that. I held her tighter than I might have because of her chemo. I gave her to GOD in more ways than one, and I KNEW he had her and I was right! Tonight as March 30 ends and a new day begins I rejoice in the fact that for a moment in time God allowed me to mother this beautiful child. I'm forever grateful. I'm always humbled, and I feel so loved.
If you have a moment I ask that you go outside, look up towards Heaven and wish my baby girl a Happy 10th birthday.
Jordyn Ashleigh, I love you baby and I do miss you. Happy Birthday sweet girl.