Just the thoughts of a Christian Homeschooling Mother, Army Wife stationed in Germany currently. Always missing my daughter who died from AML leukemia.
I haven't done this in a while but after the last few days figured why not!
I was not extremely ill starting on Christmas Eve, having to actually miss our Christmas Eve service, send my family without me (it's my favorite service of the year, beautiful and truly focused on the LORD).
I was not able to stay up right long enough Christmas morning to take pictures of the kids open their gifts and then lay down for the most part of the day.
I am most definitely not thankful that this year my husbad was home and not deployed (as he was last year!) and able to help with our family dinner, and just taking care of everything in general.
I did not love it a few minutes ago when Emma walked up to me and said "look Mommy, I'm a fishy" and proceded to give me a fishy kiss!
I am not going to do the normaly "not me" for this last one.
I am so thankful that Jesus is my Savior and that my husband and I are raising our children to know and love our LORD. Oh how blessed we are!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
I've always loved the Christmas Carol, Silent Night. What many American's do not know is it's original language is German. It was written by an Austrian Priest, Josef Moher. I'll be sharing the You Tube so you can hear it in it's original version, which is so beautiful. In PWOC and at our Candle Light service at our Chapel on Christmas Eve we sing it in English and German, there's something so beautiful about it. (Scroll down to see the words in German and English)
I pray you each have a beautiful and blessed Christmas and that you will remember WHY we celebrate this day, we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
1. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! Alles schläft; einsam wacht Nur das traute hoch heilige Paar. Holder Knab' im lockigen Haar, : Schlafe in himmlischer Ruh! :
2. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! Gottes Sohn, o wie lacht Lieb' aus deinem göttlichen Mund, Da uns schlägt die rettende Stund'. : Jesus in deiner Geburt! :
3. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! Die der Welt Heil gebracht, Aus des Himmels goldenen Höhn, Uns der Gnaden Fülle läßt sehn, : Jesum in Menschengestalt! :
4. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! Wo sich heut alle Macht Väterlicher Liebe ergoß, Und als Bruder huldvoll umschloß : Jesus die Völker der Welt! :
5. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! Lange schon uns bedacht, Als der Herr vom Grimme befreit In der Väter urgrauer Zeit : Aller Welt Schonung verhieß! :
6. Stille Nacht! Heil'ge Nacht! Hirten erst kundgemacht Durch der Engel Alleluja, Tönt es laut bei Ferne und Nah: : "Jesus der Retter ist da!" :
In English:
Silent Night! Holy Night! All is calm, all is bright Round yon godly tender pair. Holy infant with curly hair, Sleep in heavenly peace, Sleep in heavenly peace.
Silent Night! Holy Night! Son of God, love's pure light Radiant beams from thy holy face, With the dawn of redeeming grace, Jesus, Lord at thy birth Jesus, Lord at thy birth.
Silent Night! Holy Night! Brought the world gracious light, Down from heaven's golden height Comes to us the glorious sight: Jesus, as one of mankind, Jesus, as one of mankind.
Silent Night! Holy Night! By his love, by his might God our Father us has graced, As a brother gently embraced Jesus, all nations on earth, Jesus, all nations on earth.
Silent Night! Holy Night! Long ago, minding our plight God the world from misery freed, In the dark age of our fathers decreed: All the world redeemed, All the world redeemed.
Silent Night! Holy Night! Shepherds first saw the sight Of angels singing alleluia Calling clearly near and far: Christ, the saviour is born, Christ the Saviour is born.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Earlier this month we had pictures done at our Community Activities Center (CAC), which is where the photography studio is located. In our 4 1/2 years here we've been so blessed to have amazingly talented ladies as photographers there. We are now on our 3rd photographer there (they're all or have been Army wives...the first her husband got out of the Army, the 2nd just recently transferred stateside, the 3rd is here now!), so turn over is not too high, but there none the less. So this was our first honest to goodness session with our new photographer. She'd taken a quick photo a while back and then again the Santa photo's the day before our scheduled session. I had friends who'd had her take theirs and they were fabulous...well I was thrilled with the session, and it was fast, possibly our fastest ever! We're at a good age with the kids where they all pretty well pose as asked (including Emma!). Chad decided at the last minute that he wanted a family photo and thankfully she was fine with it (the photographer). So here they are! :)
I found this from Christy Rose's blog..... I didn't grow up with a ton of traditions, but nothing was ever focused on the REAL reason for this day. The birth of Christ. I read a comment on a friends blog and that commenter said her husband said he'd noticed there were not a lot of crosses up and she said "it's because it's about his birth and not his death". That is true, but it is about his death as well. Without Christ's birth, he couldn't live and spread the gospel, and he wouldn't have died on the cross to give us the hope and more importantly the promise of Salvation. It all goes hand in hand. Teaching our children WHY we celebrate Christ's birthday and why December 25 is such a special day for our family and to so many other Christians. We teach our children to say Merry Christmas, no Happy Holiday's in our family. To say I'm anything but politically correct is putting it lightly! ;) Would it be vain to say I really like that about myself? That's actually another post in itself!! With that though we have started our own traditions, when Chad and I got married and began our family. So here are the important ones! :)
Reading from Luke about Christ's birth. We open one gift on Christmas Eve (new pj's) Since living in Germany our chapel does a Christmas Eve service so we always attend. It's a candle light service and it's so beautiful! We pull the nativity set down and talk to the kids about it and share that (can't get that in their heads enough!) We pray as a family, sharing what we're thankful for, and thank GOD for humbling himself to be born of a virgin girl in a stable! To think he KNEW where he'd be born as well as where and how he'd die. While living in Germany something has become very important to me, I want Christmas Day to be focused on the Lord and our family. I like it to be quiet and as nonstressful as possible. I want to just feel gratitude that day especially.
Our lives are often full of so much uncertainty, but one thing that is never to be doubted is Christ, who he is, why he was, and what he means to me. How thankful I am for the birth of Christ, that he choose me to be his child, that he forgives me for my transgressions against him daily, for his love.
Let me start with this: I love my kids. I'm just so very, very frustrated with them today. Every Tuesday I have practice for our Praise team with PWOC, as a homeschooling Mom, they go with me of course. For some reason they just will not behave while we're there at the chapel. They loose all sense, misbehave, and just frustrate the living daylights out of me. Today was the worst I think they've ever behaved. I met Chad on the way home and just lost it. The tears were coming and I just could not stop them. Sometimes I just want to throw the towel in. I wonder what I'm doing? I'm obviously not doing something, or many things right for them to behave like this. I am feeling extremely overwhelmed and honestly just sad. I'm thankful for a husband who just lets me get it out and encourages me to keep crying, knowing it was a stress relief for me.
Sometimes I just quetion if I'm cut out for all of this. Is this really the plans GOD has for me? I always have wanted to be a mom. I could never drop them off at daycare, I know GOD has us homeschooling for a reason, I just need a break. I'm tired, emotionally and physically. Maybe I'm not soft enough when it comes to mothering. I feel myself screwing all of this up, fear they'll hate me, or worse have the same feelings about me as I do about my mom. I don't want that. Are my expectations too high, or maybe not high enough? It's time for this momma, this woman, for me to do some major soul searching and just shut up and listen to GOD and really hear him.
So have I told you that I'm 14 1/2 weeks pregnant now? I'm still nausious and very tired, but it's really not bad. I am hoping that the morning sickness and nausea will start disappearing, but who knows, with every pregnancy it's different, and I can say that for pregnancy #5 it's been different than my 1st,2nd,3rd,and 4th and they were each different from each other as well.
I do really like my ob. I'm seeing a different one this pregnancy and am so glad. I had instant ease, no argument...I should say no discussion at all about having my tubes tied (it's something GOD convicted me and Chad about...we 100% trust GOD with our family and that means no birth control or sterialization for either of us). I know we're rare, to fully trust GOD! Anyways, my ob has said nothing about it and he knows all my others were born via c-section. I wish you all understand what a relief it is to not have to rehash that fight I had with my last OB. Chad had to raise his voice with my last OB when she continued to argue with me.
My scanner is not hooked up to my laptop, hopefully we'll find the cd for my scanner/printer and I can scan my u/s. It's a perk of having a baby in Germany....ultrasounds at every appointment. I love getting to see my baby growing at every apt. Last week at my apt. the baby was kicking her/his legs a lot. We've also decided to NOT find out if we're having a boy or a girl. We do not share names we're discussing (we make the decision once we see the baby for the first time).
Hello! Well Friday was the day we said goodbye (for now) to our dear friends Heather and family. I took them to the airport and managed to not cry until I was back in my van alone. Let me tell you it was quite the feat, because I'm known to cry easily and not ashamed to shed those tears.
I get back to post and Chad's called to say that at final formation (which was at 11 AM yesterday) they were going to have me "pin" him (he was promoted) so ultimately I got to go and rip off (it's all velcro now) his old rank and slap on the new one! :)
Yesterday we had professional photo's taken. I hadn't had the kids 8 yr, 6 yr, or 2 yr photo's done this year (BAD Mom) so we did those all in one session along with a family photo, and 1 of the 3 kids. We go to the Community Activity Center (CAC) to have our photo's done, since being stationed here they've had 3 photographers. This was our first time with the newest (3rd) photographer and she did a great job and it went very quickly. All three kids were really cooperative, did what they were told and just make it all very easy. I was truly so thrilled with how they behaved and very proud of them.
After photo's Chad and the boys played some pool then he took them to see Planet 51, which they loved! When they got home we finished putting the lights on our tree and decorating it, then it was time for Christmas Card photo's! I have had my camera for 10 months and still just have so much to learn about it. I did my first timer photo's of our family with it, and am really happy with them. I actually used my tripod for the first time last night and sadly I've had it for months and so should have used it before this. So here's a few photo from last night...
This photo Jackson was actually behind the camera/tripod and took of Chad and I.
Once again I'm having our cards made by my friend Tiffany. If you're looking for a unique and one of a kind (and very beautiful) Christmas Card or other unique gifts, Tiffany's your girl. She unfortunately had to take her website down, hopefully only temporarily, but if you're interested in seeing her work and possibly have her make you a card (which she only charges $10.00!) let me know and I'll share her facebook page she's created for her designs!
It seems like just yesterday I was saying goodbye to the best friend I've ever met/made as an Army Wife and as a woman in general. Tomorrow, well since it's after midnight here now technically today...I have to say goodbye to the 2nd best friend as an Army wife. My dear, sweet, friend Heather is leaving. For those who've been reading me for the last couple of years you will remember Heather's the one we almost lost, when she went into a coma and remained comatosed (eventually it was medically induced) for 4 weeks. GOD has blessed me so much here at our duty station here in Germany. He's given me some of the most amazing Army wife and civilian friends I've ever had. Let me tell you though, when you find these women who not only become great friends, but sisters of the heart. To watch them leave hurts tremendously, but tonight my heart is aching for my Emma. She loves Heather and her family. She literally in the last 2 weeks has told us over and over "I love Miss Heather" and then proceeds to go through how she loves everyone in her family. How do you explain to a two year old that people she see's as family are leaving her and won't be back? That she'll be able to talk to them on the phone but won't get to go to their home or have them come to ours anymore? In the morning my kids will have to tell them goodbye and my heart is aching. I hate goodbyes. Pray for our friends as they transition back to the states, for a safe and uneventful flight. Pray for my Emma and both of my boys as well, and if you can say a small one for me I'd be so grateful.
I'm Christy. Christian first, wife to my brave Soldier (US ARMY), mom to 6 wonderful kids...our oldest, daughter died from AML leukemia when she was just 2 yrs old after battling this horrible disease for 14 months. We're currently stationed in Beautiful Germany!
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