Noah's birthday

Our Noah bug turned 1 or as I like to say 11 months and 42 days lol! The actual day of his birthday was low key. I made him cupcakes (his first taste of sweets) and he opened up his presents from the kids! It was a beautiful day and honestly couldn't have been better!!! His birthday party we invited just a few friends over (although one family that came does have 7 children so there was lots of kids), thankfully Noah's used to being around lots of kids, so it wasn't overwhelming to him!! He had lots of fun! We had a monkey cake made for him, it was adorable!!
The first slide show is from his actual birthday and the 2nd one is from his party a few days later!

Last Day

Today is Noah's last day of being an infant. Oh how fast this last year has been. Last year on this day I didn't have a clue that tomorrow our world would change so drastically! I had no idea that for the first time in 12 years I'd get to experience labor again. I had no idea that the "best laid plans" were once again GOD's and not mine what's so ever!


(Noah climbed up on the slide all by himself)

Today, I'm eating up Noah still being able to be considered an infant one last full day. I'm loving on him as much as he'll allow (thankfully he's a cuddly BABY!!). So little bits about my sweet Noah James! He's the happiest baby in the world. He's almost always smiling and laughing. He's a total cuddler and love bug (as we call him). He laughs a lot. He's loved so deeply by everyone in our family and oh how he loves back! He adores his big brothers, especially Jacob and appreciates his big sister, who loves him a little obsessively! LOL





He's not walking, yet, but oh so close. He will happily take little steps between pieces of furniture. He's taken to if he's beside a wall, using one hand to steady himself with and walking along it quite quickly, normally giggling the whole time! He's mastered crawling up stairs (much to my dismay) when he see's the gate is left open and he's up quickly as lightening, only stopping to turn and grin if he see's someone's caught him and is going up behind him! haha





He has 6 teeth that have popped through so far and more to come I'm sure, very soon! His eyes twinkle constantly. He makes all of us laugh constantly. I honestly don't know if I've laughed so much from a child as I have from Noah! (Please know I'm not taking away from my other kids who also make me laugh, Noah just makes me laugh a little more often and a little harder!)

Jackson,Noah, and Jacob

He's one loved, adored, and doted on little man!

How could you not love and adore that face??? He's the epitimy of beautiful perfection isn't he?!! I'm so thankful for the blessing that is Noah James. Happy Last day being 11 months old my sweet beautiful boy. I love you and adore you, forever and ever.

Sweet Mercy

Praise the Lord, I made it! I made it through May 8, through Mother's Day. Chapel service was hard, hard, hard. I cried through the majority of it. AWANA was a good distraction for me, but I came home emotionally exhausted and vegged out the rest of the evening. I told Chad I wanted nothing for Mother's Day. He did get a card from the kids and one from him. Jackson made me a picture and Jacob gave me a homemade coupon book. Those meant more to me than anything they could have bought (although Jack really, really, really wanted to buy me something).

Thursday will be the anniversary of her funeral and burial, it's another hard day, but nothing like the 8th. I am so very thankful we have such a Gracious and merciful Lord and Savior. I don't know how else I'd get through these hard days. I look at those who deny Jesus as their Savior and wonder how in the world they get through one single day, much less such hard ones.

Thank you for praying me through Sunday. None of you will know how crushing that day was to me. What most people don't get is that you ARE thankful for the children still walking on this earth, but that does not make you miss the one who's not any less. For many bereaved Mom's, Mother's Day is already a difficult day, but let me tell you I never experienced it being so absolutely AWFUL until this year. When a day that was created to celebrate me, to celebrate those who made me a Mother...to not have the child who MADE me a mother first, to have the day that celebrates this huge part of who I am, who I love about me,to know that day is the same day as the worst day of my life.....painful does not even describe how I felt. But that day is over, and with God's grace I came out breathing and even had a smile on my face a couple times. I was able to think of how she met Jesus that day and how as painful of a day that was for me, it was the most glorious day for her! I DO celebrate her life and even her death. I do still miss her and long for her, yet would never want to bring her back from Heaven.

I thank you, Jesus for my 2 years with Jordyn. I thank you for loving her so much that you allowed her relief and gave her Heaven. I thank you for holding me so tightly over the last 11 years, and for allowing me the promise of you continuing to hold me oh so tightly for the rest of my days on this earth. Thank you for your mercy on each and everyone of us. We sure don't deserve it in our own selves, but in you we're new, loved, and forgiven.

May 8

It's after midnight in Germany now, it's officially May 8 and yes "Mother's Day". I know it's a day to honor mothers, to celebrate mothers. I do not want to celebrate this year. IF I could stay in bed all day I would. I won't be allowed to, because life just doesn't work like that (plus we need new mattresses so my back would be aching....but anyways). 11 years ago, my sweet Jordyn Ashleigh took our Lord's hand and went home to Heaven. My heart knows I should celebrate the end of pain and suffering, the end of her battle against cancer. My mothers heart, the heart that aches and longs to feel her in my arms....it aches.

I am so thankful that I know where my child is. I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about her safety, her heart, her soul. I miss her though. I miss her smell, the sound of her voice, her laughter, her smile, the twinkle in her eyes, her singing. One sweet day I'll have all those things back.

I look to the Lord, he's where my help comes from. I am so thankful I have my Lord to lean on, to depend on....especially as my heart aches.

I love you my sweet Jordyn and miss you so much.

Events of the Day

I debated all day long one whether I'd write about the events of last night or not. I won't write a lot, but want to share a few of my thoughts and feelings of all of it. I have a sense of relief knowing that Osama (Usama) Bin Laden is dead. I'm also concerned at how AlQuida and fellow terrorists will be reacting over this news. I'm concerned for our military men and women who are down range. I'm concerned for all Americans all over the world, especially those who are in Muslim/Islamic countries, especially those there as missionaries. I am in deep prayer for all of them/us. I believe that the enemy will make him a Martyr.

I think those of us who are Christians need to come together and start praying immediately (if you're not already) for our troops safety and American's (and allies) in general. Let us not let our guards down, be vigilant if not even more so. For us who are military families....remember OPSEC. I think it's more important now than ever before. I'm often taken back at how much some bloggers will share online. From their specific location (come on there are some real CRAZIES out there and I'm not even talking terrorists!) to the locations of their military member. Personally, I don't think you can be too safe. For me, I don't and won't share where we're stationed, beyond Germany on here. I don't think it's wise and again there are just too many freaks out there...terrorists and others! So please be careful what you're putting out there. You NEVER know who's reading your blog.

I'm thankful for our military who's given so much....from their lives (and we've personally lost dear/close friends) to time with family and friends. Tonight I'm thankful to the specific SEALS who risked it all and made our world a little safer last night. I'm thankful that I'm married to a man who's been deployed 5 times (3 of them to Iraq). I'm thankful most of all that I have a Savior who loves me, who does not require me to kill innocent people or anyone for that matter.

So tonight as I drift to sleep, I'm thankful that there's one less terrorist in our world, but I do not live in a world that I believe 10 more didn't rise up. I have faith though in Jesus Christ and his full of mercy truth.

I am thankful God is far more merciful with me than I deserve. So although I'm not trying to say that what happened to OBL. I'm thankful I have the promise of Heaven,

Easter

I hope you all had a wonderful Resurrection Day! We went to the Sunrise service that our chapel had, it was short, but beautiful. We were able to come home and immediately Chad hid eggs out in the backyard and the kids had fun finding eggs, even sweet Noah joined in! The night before after we dyed them both of the older boys drew pictures of the 3 crosses on Good Friday. Let me tell you how blessed it is to see your children shining the TRUTH, knowing the TRUTH, knowing and loving Jesus. We had a couple friends over for dinner and dinner was so good! :) I made a turkey, ham, dressing, homemade noodles, mashed potatoes and gravy (from the turkey broth..yum!), and veggies. Our friend M made baked beans which were seriously awesome and I'm not normally a fan of them! Our other friend A brought cupcakes, and Chad and M made deviled eggs! Dinner was awesome!


The day was truly blessed as we thanked the Lord for his sacrifice and for his fulfillment of the scriptures. It's truly so humbling to think of all he went through for me and for you to be allowed to enter the Kingdom of HEAVEN. On Friday (Good Friday that is) our chapel did a short service, dinner, and then showed The Passion of the Christ. We own the movie, but the last time we watched it was 7 years ago. I remember sobbing and hiding my face through a good portion of it. I've felt the Lord whispering that it was time that I was reminded just what he went through for me. It's not a movie that can be taken lightly. It's not a movie that just anyone can watch, and I think you need to be prepared. There's no way to prepare your heart, but be prepared to have your heart moved beyond measure when you see exactly what he went through for you. It's humbling and heartbreaking. If you've never seen it, I urge you to watch it. If you've not watched it in a while...I encourage you to pray and see if the Lord is calling you to watch it once again. Jacob wants to watch it, but I just don't feel like he's quite ready for it. It's so graphic and although it's true, I just want him to be mature enough and truly ready to watch it. I think in a couple more years he'll be ready, but we'll keep seeking God's wisdom on when to expose him to this harsh reality.
With that, I'm ending with pictures that I've taken over the last couple of weeks. Lots of Noah and quite a few from Easter. Be blessed.



Emma with our friend "M"'s dog, Skittle...taking her for a little bike ride


Emma getting her nails painted by her big brother, Jacob




Emma decorating a cookie

Jacob and Jackson...my handsome boys

My world

Excited to see their Easter baskets!!!

This is my favorite photo of Noah and Chad!

My sweet Noah

Loving swinging

Noah and his big brother, Jacob

Getting some loving from Jackson

Tired!!

I'm wiped out and I wish I could say that I'll get some downtime soon, but that's not going to happen until we're done with school. We have daily school of course....and well let me just lay it out for you! Sunday's: Church and AWANA (normally we come home from church, have a simple lunch, go over the kids AWANA verses, let the kids play outside for about 30 minutes to an hour and then it's time to leave). Home and dinner and then time for bed for the kids. Monday: School, Jacob has Cub Scouts, Jack has baseball practice, Emma has ballet, and I go to Zumba in the evening, so I leave Noah and Emma with Chad and Jacob (Chad's the coach for Jackson's team) Tuesday: School, Praise Team Practice, Jacob baseball practice, and I have Zumba Wednesday: PWOC, (the boys do school during PWOC) come home have lunch and finish up any school that wasn't finished during the morning, Jackson has cub scouts, I have Zumba Thursday: School and Jacob has baseball practice, Jackson's baseball games Friday: School and Hospitality House Saturday: Finish any school work that was not finished (yes even school on Saturday's if necessary) Jacob's baseball games. Of course we have to squeeze in errands, shopping, and various other things. I do NOT like this schedule at all. I honestly can't stand it. I do not like being on the go constantly. I do not like feeling like we're over taxed. I do not like having no down time and right now we have NONE...oh wait we do have Saturday evenings! LOL So want to pray for me? Seriously I absolutely COVET any and all prayers you'll be saying for me. Life's not bad, oh no not at all...just exceptionally busy. I do think praying for each other is vital and when we're seeking the Lord in all steps of our life, we'll feel him every step of the way. So yes, as you can see though...I'm tired! I'm a bit wiped out! Oh and lets not forget I have a 10 month old thrown into this mix, who's hobby is nursing! LOL I joke, but I'm pretty serious about that! Somewhere in all of this, I've been working hard on laundry and working hard to trying to keep up on housework, although I'm not doing the best job there. All my floors except the kitchen have been swept and mopped between yesterday and today (tomorrow is the kitchen and will do the bathroom's, again). You know though, through all this busyness....I'm relying on God to get me through it that much more. I'm thankful for this time in our lives. I'm thankful we're able to enjoy watching our boys play baseball and seeing them enjoy themselves. I'm thankful that Emma gets to do ballet and the best part, it's not breaking the bank! (Come on, can't I get a whoot-whoot out of THAT one?!!!). I'm loving my time with Noah. He's such a happy boy. He's a laid back little guy. He enjoys his siblings so much, loves his Daddy, and is in love with me. He smiles so easily and laughs often. He's showing a bit of ornryness in his personality, and there's just such joy in his heart!!!! With that, my bed is calling my name. I have to be up early for PWOC in the morning. I love this midweek special time with our Lord and fellowship with sisters in Christ. I'm not thrilled about the early wake up! LOL No really I don't mind it too much, most Wednesday mornings. Next year I will Not be on the board and well honestly I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful that God's preparing a quieter time for me. I will say though, that I enjoy my position on the board this year. I'm the Prayer Coordinator, and love it. I have a heart for prayer and believe that it's absolutely necessary. Without prayer we have no communication with the Lord. We should be talking to him constantly, we don't have to get down on our knees to communicate with God. We can be driving and talking to him, doing dishes, taking a shower, laying in bed, sitting on the computer, sitting at baseball practice.....we can talk out loud or in our heads. We can pray with others or alone. There's no right or wrong with to pray, when you're truly going to Jesus....fully and completely. So now is time to go spend with the Lord as he helps me drift off to sleep. We're blessed my friends. We have a Savior who loved us so much that he died for us. Oh how blessed we are. Here's to sweet dreams! (PS if I am all over in this, please accept my apologies...I've struggled to keep my eyes open writing this)

My God!!

My God is the same whether the government pays us or not. My God is the same whether the Government shuts down or keeps going. My God is the same. He never changes. He loves me unconditionally. He's the great physician. He's my Father. He's my hope through today and for tomorrow. He loved me the moment I was formed in my mothers womb, and he'll love me the day I join him in Heaven. My God is the same and nothing can change that. He is the ONE consistent in this life. We only have to start talking/praying to him. We only have to open our bibles and read his promises. Sometimes we ask him something and his answer is no and sometimes it is yes, while other times it's simply "not yet". Through it all though, my GOD is the same! He loves me more passionately than I could ever imagine loving another, and that includes my own children. He wants the best for me. He'll never forsake me or leave me. How thankful I am that through all the turmoil that's happening in our nation, I have the hope and promise of my Lord, My Savior!

Ultimate Blog Party (a little late)

So I'm late to the party! I'd like to say Fashionably late, but well I'm not the most fashionable girl, so I'll just say I'm late, I have kids, a hubby, homeschool, bible study, ballet class (for Emma), baseball practices, cleaning a house, taking care of a dog (that I only sort of like), oh and lets not get started on the stinking laundry (it IS my nemesis). So a little about myself for those who are new here, I guess read the above and you'll get a good portion of who I am! Lets start with the absolute, positively most important thing about me....I am a Christian! I believe that Jesus Christ is the Lord, he's my Savior, and I am absolutely nothing without him. I believe that unless you believe in him you will NOT be going to Heaven. I believe that if you have any other "ideas" of him you're wrong, you're not going to Heaven, and my heart truly aches for you. Next.....I'm the wife of Chad who happens to be a Soldier in the US ARMY. We just celebrated 14 years of marriage. We've had all sorts of ups and downs. We are about to go through our 6th Deployment. He was in an awful accident this past August, is truly blessed to have survived, it's amazing that he's walking, etc. He broke his left clavicle bone, tore his 7-11th vertabrae's, and fractured his sternum. He had surgery 3 days after the accident, they placed a titanium rod in his shoulder and one in his back, (sternum healed on its own). We went to see his surgeon almost 2 weeks ago and praise the LORD he's completely healed!!!! With that healing means he'll join his unit, which is already deployed here shortly. (I will not post the date for his safety). We have been blessed with 5 children so far! Jordyn would have turned 13 on March 30, yes would have is correct. When she was 2 years old she went home to Heaven. She was diagnosed with AML leukemia when she was 6 days from turning 1 year old. She fought so hard, but ultimately the Lord declared that her work was finished and she was mercifully taken home on May 8, 2000. We of course miss her, wonder what she'd be like, what she'd look like, etc but oh to know my sweet little girl is safe in the arms of Jesus, there's nothing more reassuring! We also have: Jacob:10, Jackson:7, Emma: 3, and Noah who's 10 months old (not sure how that's possible, because he was JUST born!! No seriously he was!). We homeschool our children. The Lord called our family to it and although it can be absolutely challenging, it's also a blessing! We have been homeschooling since Jacob was in kindergarten (so from the beginning). This year instead of me piecing their curc. I decided to go with Alpha Omega's Life Pac's! We love it! God is in everything, every subject from the beginning of time to now! Oh I guess I forgot to tell you where we're blessed to live. Germany! We have been here for almost 6 years and LOVE it! I truly feel so at home here. I can't describe it in words how much I love it here. I feel like this is where GOD wants us. We have been blessed to travel and see so many amazing places and hope to see many more before we're forced to move back stateside. My interests....PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel....aka Women's bible study that was started 56 years ago in Germany from some Army spouses who wanted fellowship time with fellow spouses). Reading (my favorites are Christian Fiction and Nonfiction, Nonfiction in General, History, travel books, and my favorite: The Bible...truly the greatest book ever written!). I love taking pictures of my children, although I would love to learn more in photography! I love antiques and have acquired a few beautiful pieces since living in Germany. I've become a lover of Zumba and working on getting healthier and thinner this year! Traveling, I love it and thrive on it! I can't wait for our next adventure and discovery! My favorite place so far is hands down: Ireland! So very beautiful, amazing, and just a striking country! So leave me a comment, and I look forward to getting to know you! God's Blessings

I have hope that tomorrow my heart won't hurt so much. I have hope that one day I'll be with my beautiful Jordyn again. I have hope because, Jesus Christ is my Savior. Today instead of me hugging and kissing and wishing Jordyn a happy birthday and celebrating 13 years of life....I know she's safe in the arms of Jesus. Chad and I are still not sure what we're going to do today for her birthday celebration. I had PWOC this morning, I led our worship team and prayed and cried. Chad stayed home this morning with the kids since Emma wasn't feeling well when she woke up (I think it was just allergy junk though). He has to go to the memorial service of two of our fallen soldiers from our Battalion who were killed last Tuesday in Afganistan. I'm not going to the memorial service, it's too hard and today's hard enough, plus at 4 I have Noah's well baby apt. and Jack has cub scouts. So although it'd be easiest to climb in bed, have a good hard cry, and sleep....God's made my life so that it won't work like that. I am strugging right at this moment to find joy, I have it, it's just a little deeper in my heart today. I know that part of me wants to REJOICE and sing from the mountain tops that today 13 years ago I gave birth to the most amazing little girl ever. I AM BLESSED. I AM Thankful. I AM Loved. Happy Birthday, Jordyn. I love you to Heaven and Back (and back again a few million times). Today I became a Mommy and I can say it was TRULY the most amazing experience of my life. I'll love you forever.