So Excited!!

Last Wednesday our family made the 2 1/2 hr drive up North and saw my best Army wife friend, "B" and her family. They moved away 3 years ago, were stationed in Arizona, and this past fall they moved back. I was patient in trying to let them get settled once they had housing, then they got their Household Goods quickly after moving into their apartment, and I waited for them to be able to get their home set up...then it was Thanksgiving, Jacob was in the play, and various other scheduling committments and well the fact that they are 2 1/2 hrs away, so last Wednesday we finally made the trip. Her husband "T" and Chad get along great and our kids are all great friends. Jacob and their son were best friends when they were here, and Jack loved him too. Emma and D were both still in the 1 year age range when they left, but were instantly best friends! As we were all in our respective vehicles heading to the Christmas market in their town, Chad said "Isn't it great to have them back. So nice that we're all friends and it feels like they were never gone".

Well, here we are now, and they're coming down and spending the next 4 days with us! We've been cleaning and organizing. Thankfully they're the kind of friends I know my house doesn't have to be perfect for, but I want it to look as good as possible! I'm so excited to have them here and to get to spend some real time with "B"!! I feel so grateful that God brought B and her family back to Germany and that we're close enough to spend time together!!


Thank you, Lord for bringing my best friend back.

Enjoying the Season we're in....WINTER and SNOW!

It's snowing in our part of Germany and from my various friends throughout Germany, it seems to be snowing all over! Our family loves snow. I love taking my kids out in it and playing and watching their faces as they see the beautiful white stuff covering the ground. So often it seems people moan and groan and do nothing but complain about it, they just want summer, of course in the summer they complain about the heat and how they wouldn't mind some snow. Why can't we be thankful and simply find joy in the season we're in? We all go through various seasons and at different times. There are the weather seasons of Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Then there are the seasons of life that God allows us to walk through and sometimes instead of slowing down and living in that season and recognizing that God's allowing us to go through it, we want to run and rush through it. Young mothers who are exhausted because the baby has colic or doesn't sleep well at night (which why any young mother would think her newborn is going to sleep through the night is beyond me....while in the womb when are they most active?? AT NIGHT it just makes sense that they'd be awake at night when they enter this world!!), we want to rush through each season of life and then before we know it, it's over and we long for it back, or worse we don't and we've completely missed out on the blessing of that season of life, GOD allowed us to have.

I am challenging myself daily to enjoy the season God has me in. We ALL have rough days. We all have days that we just have to "get through", but if we find ourselves feeling like that day in and day out for weeks to months to even years on end, we need to really look at ourselves and ask what it is we can change. Normally it's our own attitude about the situtation or the season we're in. I try hard to not wish my days away. I have a home with children ranging from 10 to 19 months and one in the womb. I'm in a season where God's allowed us to continue to live in Germany for the last 6 1/2 years (and love it). I don't want to look back when my children are grown and think "why did I wish those days away"? I love watching, teaching, and playing with my children. I want to play in the snow, dance in the rain, basking in the sun, raking and jumping in the leaves. I don't want to miss a moment. So today, we've played in the snow, we're now cuddled together waiting for lunch to finish, watching Polar Express, and you know I love these moments.

Slowing Down

Jacob was in a play/musical production here on our little post at our award winning theater. They just finished up on Sunday, Oliver! They did 8 weeks of rehersals and 2 weeks/8 total shows. It was amazing. Jacob was an orphan and a pick pocket: Tom White. I was so proud of him. The first two weeks of rehearsal, he was still playing football, so there has been no down time since August and let me tell you, I'm READY!!

We have tried so hard to be a family that is not over-extended/too busy, yet sometimes it just happens. Jacob wanted to play basketball, but I had to make a hard decision and say no. We just need this break. Jack's still in Tae Kwon Do and Emma's in ballet, and they're all in AWANA. That's enough for right now. Nothing that goes past 5:30, allows us to sit down and have dinner together as a family every night.

I am now over 6 months pregnant. We are so blessed with each of our children and this baby has been such a surprised blessing. We didn't plan for this baby yet, just as we didn't plan for Jacob...yet God knows best and we know this baby is loved by GOD and loved by us and we're so thrilled for her or him to make his/her appearance in a couple of months. This is our 6th child and I have to tell you that feeling the kicks and punches from this little one, is just as amazing as with our first one. There's no way to describe how it feels. I wish every woman who ever wanted to, could experience the joy of pregnancy. I didn't really enjoy my first two pregnancy's. With our oldest, I was just so excited to have her, I was more focused on her being born and being with us. With our second, I was in such deep grief over the death of Jordyn that finding joy in his kicks was not to be found in my heart. I made a mental recognition that I WOULD find joy in my pregnancy and just enjoy it with our 3rd and it was amazing how different his pregnancy was. With our 4th I made sure to just enjoy her, and again with 5 and now 6. It is a mental choice. I have had severe morning sickness, I was sick the whole pregnancy with Emma and Noah (5/6) but I still found joy in my pregnancy every day. I still was thankful to GOD for the blessing of the pregnancy. Some women only get the joy of pregnancy of feeling the life of their child, so how dare I not enjoy that blessing...because here's a fact: I do not know what the life of this little one is going to be. My goodness I never could have imagined our little girl would be diagnosed with AML leukemia at 6 days from turning 1 year old. I never could have imagined 14 months later she'd be in he arms of Jesus. We have to enjoy each day that the Lord gives us.
I want to make sure we don't ever get too busy that we can't be thankful for the days we have.
I'm so thankful that the Lord has led our family to homeschool. I'm thankful that I get to spend every day with our children. There are frustrating days, don't get me wrong, but it's still a blessing. I don't have to share my children with strangers who are helping to mold their minds, it's my job.

I hope that if you're in a time of busy, busy...go,go,go. That you can just take a minute and slow down, look around your home and Thank the Lord. Thank HIM. Just thank Him.

I Am....

I am not perfect.
I'm a sinner.
I hurt and I have hurt.
I love and am loved.
I can be down right mean,
spiteful, ugly on the inside.
I speak my mind: sometimes too often
sometimes not often enough.
Rarely do people have to wonder
what I think about something.
I think dogs dressed in clothes
look stupid.
I don't think dogs are "fur babies/children, etc".
I think dogs are pets, that's it.
I offend people with my:
beliefs, values, thoughts, words, actions.
I get offended by others:
beliefs, what I see as lack of values
thoughts, words, and actions.
I love being a mom.
It is hard and I often feel like I suck at being one.
I love being a wife.
It's hard and often know I suck at it.
I HATE cleaning and really HATE doing laundry (the whole miserable process).
I'm lazy.
I'm fat.
I dream that I'm still skinny (like literally dream it)
I want better for my children than what I sometimes give them.
I want to love them better.
I want to love my husband better.
I want to love GOD better.
I think those who are not Christians are idiots.
Yes I just wrote that. I just offended people.
There are times I don't care that I offended them
and think that it's their problem and something THEY need to get over.
I judge people.
I am judged and hate it.
I'm a hypocrit.
I love.
I hurt
I am not perfect.
I'm a Christian.
I fail God daily and often multiple times a day.
I'm not perfect.
I'm a sinner.
I love Jesus.
I fail him daily.
I wish the world would do what I think is right and just.
It never does.
I think a lot of people are annoying.
I can be fake.
I'm me.
Some like me
Some don't.
Some love me.
Some hate me.
I'm Christy.....a woman who loves: Jesus, my husband, my children, my extended family, my friends, U.S.A, and Germany.
I'm Christy....a woman who fails daily, who can hurt others and be hurt by them just the same. A woman who sins, judges,
I'm Christy....I'm not perfect, but I'm loved by the one who I need to be loved by the most....Jesus.

Thanks Giving is approaching!

I love Thanksgiving and am so looking forward to it!! I am a traditionalist when it comes to our feast. I also guess you could say it's one of the few times during the year I'm a control freak a little (this would include, Christmas and Easter). Last year we had a friend come with her family for Thanksgiving and she brought the stuffing/dressing (well she made it here) and Chad was not a happy man, he loves mine...that's it (well my mom's as well, since it's her recipe).
We're HOPING and PRAYING that my best Army wife friend, who lives about 2 1/2 hours away and just moved back to Germany last month. We're still waiting to see if they're going to make it here or not. We're also having a couple single soldier friends over for dinner. Here's our menu:

Turkey (25 lb...yep it's BIG)
Ham (just a small little one)
Homemade Dressing (although we call it stuffing, it does not go into the bird)
Homemade noodles (using the broth from the turkey...mmmm!)
Artisan Bread (I just recently started making this and my family LOVES it!)
Greenbean casserole (not that nasty healthy version either, the classic good one! LOL)
Gravy from the turkey broth
Mashed potatoes
Corn
Cranberry Sauce (sadly from the can, my kids love it)
We'll have a cheese and veggie platter for appetizers
Deviled Eggs (Chad will be making these....yuck to me!)
Pumpkin and Chocolate Pies
I feel like I'm forgetting something, but think that's everything.

I LOVE and I do mean cooking this meal. I make the same thing for Christmas and Easter. It's what I grew up having and love the tradition of it. I make my pies Wednesday, the goal this year is to have them done Wednesday by 3 PM. I will make the bread on Wednesday as well, well the starter for it, then it'll just have to rise for 2 hours and bake for 30 minutes, it can rise between 2 to 5 hours so I'll be able to pull it out in the morning and stick it in the oven right before we're ready to eat, plus it makes 3 loaves, so it should be plenty of bread!
I cook my turkey all night long, on 200 heat, then in the morning you wake up and your whole house smells of turkey (mmmm, nothing like it!) then I have my oven free for everything else throughout the morning and early afternoon and just brown it up the hour before we'll be ready to eat!

My love for cooking this meal is how much my family loves it. How it lasts us for a few days afterwards (no cooking for a few days afterwards!! Wahoo!), and well lets get real here...how good it is! I can remember the first time I made a turkey on my own, we were stationed 13 years ago in Baumholder, Germany....it was our first Thanksgiving now with family. I was so nervous and called my mom at LEAST 5 or more times, so scared I was going to ruin everything. We had a ton of people over, 2 families, and I think 10 single soldiers. The only mishap was the pumpkin pie, one of the pies (out of 2) I used the frozen pit crusts, and left the plastic lid in one of them and poured the pie filling right on top! LOL But it amazingly didn't melt and Chad happily had a pie to himself! We had thankfully served the other pie first and between the pumpkin, chocolate, and a cake a friend brought we never cut into that 2nd pie until everyone else had left and we discovered my foul up! LOL We still laugh about that. I hope everyone has a funny mess up from a big Thanksgiving dinner that they and their spouse can laugh about for years to come.

One thing I have learned, is I like being the cook. I don't want to share any of the responsibility! I want to be the only one to cook it all, if someone wants to bring an appetizer or a side dish I didn't plan to make, or dessert...I'm good with that, but I want the "heavy cooking" left to me. I know it's selfish, I just seriously love it. Plus we've discovered, if someone makes their stuffing/dressing differently than yours and it's not good...well it's kind of disappointing lol.

We have also went to serving it buffet style. It's just easier for us, when we have so much food and more than just our famly at the table, goodness with all that food, it's still easier to have it buffet style with just our family!

So what are your family food traditions, any other traditions? We go around our table and share our Thanks to God for various things throughout the year, depending on the friends, we'll play cards or a boardgame as adults and the kids normally are playing, if it's not too cold they'll playoutside for a while, if it's been snowing, they'll go sledding, watch a movie (normally a Thanksgiving or Christmas one). Lots of family time and laughter and praising GOD. Is there anything better?

Heaven Gained an amazing woman

I got a call this afternoon from my mom. My "step" Grandma (step is such a loose word, as that was NEVER EVER EVER how she treated us or how I felt about her.) Her first name is Nona and it's always what I called her. My Grandpa married her when I was a junior in high school. Nona was an angel on earth. No she wasn't perfect, but she was perfect for my Grandpa and our family. She had a beautiful heart and had no problem speaking her thoughts either.

She died in her sleep last night. My sweet precious Grandpa is who I'm aching for the most. His first wife, who's my mom and her brothers mom, died when she was only 23 years old. My mom was 2 and her brother was 1. He remarried with in a year or so, to a woman who he and my grandma had known and used to play cards with her and her (ex) husband. The woman who ultimately raised my mother was not a kind woman. She brought 4 boys into the marriage, Grandpa had 2, and together they had 1 (son). My mom was the only girl. She was pretty classicaly treated like Cinderella to put it lightly. When I was in the 2nd grade she had a heart attack, she was taken to the hospital and had surgery and when the dr came out to tell Grandpa the surgery went well, she went into cardiac arrest and died. He was alone for 10 years. He never dated, worked for Sante Fe Railroad, and was a devoted Grandpa. When he met Nona a joy came into his life that's so hard to explain. He'd always been a happy man, but this was a whole new happiness. It was a joy deep in his soul. Both are devoted Christians and very active in their church. When they got married there was never a moment that my brother or I felt like we were "step" Grandkids. She simply loved us.

I miss her and have missed her since we've been living in Germany and now knowing I'll never get to see or talk to her again, my heart breaks. We're working right now on trying to get our passports renewed so we can get back to the states for the funeral and to spend time with my Grandpa.

Please be in prayer for my Grandpa and all my family.

Lord Undo Me

I'm listening to Klove.com and JD (the current DJ on) just shared this beautiful poem.....


I don’t really worship these day
I don’t really stand up to praise you with songs
Or prayers or actionsor with anything
I am full of all the right moves
I am full of all the right words
I am full of all the right religion
But it is all just illusion
I am really
Lonely
Lost
Calloused
Jaded
Cynical
Too religious
Too realistic
and well really just to lazy
to worship you anymore
I have lost my first love
I have lost the joy of your presence
But most of all I have lost the fear of your glory
Father I need to see you again
Like Isaiah I want to stand in awe of your glory
To fall down at your feet
To come face to face with your
Perfection,Radiance,Goodness,Holiness,Awesomeness
I want to stand before you and see you for who you are
and me for who I amI want to be undone
I want to know me for who I really am
I want to see the depths of my heart
And know that you are the only way
You are the only truth
You are the only life
I want to see me and understand
What it really must have taken for you to
Love me
Care for me
See me
Speak to me
Want me
Communicate with me
Die for me
Die for me
Die for me
Lord, I want to stand in that place where all I can see is your glory
And my sin
Because in that place I can’t help but worship you.
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
Lord, undo my heart
break down these walls that I love so much
No, wait don’t,I’m scared I don’t know if I can handle this
don’t
But I can’t live this way anymore
I can’t stand here in this half-lifet
his going through the motions life
this not really alive life
Father, I need you so come in and do what you must
Cut out the tumor on my heart
Break down the walls that I love
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heartlet me worship you again
*Blake Williams

Wishing Days Away

This morning I wrote a status update about not wishing away days with your children, but you know I can expand on that to anyone in your life (spouse). Days are precious and we're never guarenteed a single one of them, they're a gift from God. When I see person after person posting how they can't wait for this day or that day and it's a constant day after day, month after month issue, it breaks my heart. They don't get it. They justify it. "Well, my husband's deployed so I just want this year to go by fast so he can be home and then I want time to slow down" No, I'm sorry but to "me" that doesn't cut it. I've been through 5 deployments the last being 14 1/2 months long, yes I missed Chad more than I could ever describe in words, but I did my best to enjoy the days I had with my kids, and not wish our days away. We ALL have bad days and look forward to bedtime, but that shouldn't be a day in and day out thing, if so...I think that's when we need to take a good, hard, long look at ourselves and ask ourself why. What's our attitude. Is it one of selfishness or gratitude? Are we looking at the days we have as something we just have to get through or are we really living each day to the maximum? Did you praise God for this day? Have I praised God for this day? No, then lets do it right now. Thank you, Jesus for today. Thank you for my husband and my children: Jordyn who's safe in your arms, for Jacob who's growing up too fast and was recently said to himself and to me that he's looking like a teenager (he's not one yet and it broke my heart a little to step back and look at him and see how old he's getting, it seems like just yesterday I gave birth to him), Jackson who's got an innocence and immaturity about him that many 8 year olds are discouraged to have, yet is such a part of WHO Jack is, and what's wonderful and frustrating all at the same time. Emma who's our beautiful little girl, our princess, who's growing up far too quickly, who's smart and beautiful and loved by everyone who meets her. Noah, my sweet baby boy. He's sweet and loving and just enough ornriness that days with him are full of laughter. This baby who's growing inside of me, I do not know who she or he is yet, but God does. This child is a miracle and blessing and just a simple gift from GOD. Thank you for Chad. For the man he is and the man he's constantly becoming with the help of GOD. Thank you for bringing him home from every deployment he's been sent on to war torn nations, thank you for the father he is to our children, and the husband he is to me. He loves me no matter what size I am, how ugly in attitude I can be, how emotional and all over the place I can be, no matter if I'm irrational and irate or calm and peaceful...he loves me and challenges me to be better, but loves me no matter where I am.

Let me enjoy watching Emma throwing the balloon around and ancing around to Klove, as Noah runs around all crazy and silly and begs to go back into the kitchen because he's always hungry. Let me enjoy our homeschooling days, even when the boys procrastinate and sit there just looking at their pages. Please don't let me take any of these moments for granted.

I want to be gentle in my words and actions. Please Lord remind me everyday, not to take a moment for granted.

Something to Talk about

I just read an email sent from well the best way to describe it is a former friend. I wish her NO ill will, some friendships end. She was the head of the selection committee last year for the PWOC executive board. What that means is she selects a group of women who come together with her and they pray that God will give them discernment over who wants placed as the President, the VP, 2nd VP, Secretary, and Treasurer (although secretary and treasurer have different official names now). I've been part of the committee a couple years ago when one of my dearest friends was the selection head. To say that it can be stressful is putting it lightly. Our time together was often shared in great laughter, but we also took it very seriously and prayed so much together and individually. So anyways, I have absolutely no doubt that this person and her committee took this job very seriously and prayerfully. They put together an AMAZING board. Every woman that was placed are women I can personally say I adore and love and believe are amazing women of Christ. With that though, they all stepped down for various reasons, 3 of them were because they're moving. Yet God was VERY faithful and of course none of it was a surprise to him and a new board was in place in although not the way PWOC calls for it to be, in a Godly manner none the less and the new board is fabulous. I truly believe he placed the first group of women in their positions for their short season for a purpose and that purpose was completely served and brought Glory to GOD. I also believe this new board was created for the purpose to bring Glory to God.

I find out that a rumor is going around that I supposedly started, that I thought the person who selected the original board did so, to ultimately bring down PWOC, because she some how could predict the future and knew that board would "fail". I'm honestly so hurt and angry (and praying this is righteous anger) right now. I'm angry that such a rumor is even going around, much less that I started it. It's hateful, cruel, and ridiculous. The former friend emailed me and I am appreciative that she did and I've responded and of course told her I absolutely never said any of it, but told her to feel free to have the person who told her of this "rumor" to please come to me. The more I think about this the sadder I'm getting and now tears are falling. It's so hateful. I am NOT perfect and would love to say I have never gossiped as a Christian, but it's not true. I have and God in recent months has reconvicted me on this and I've been working hard to not only not gossip, but not participate in it (listening is participating).

I'm at a loss right now. Part of me wants to just scream, part of me wants to cry, and part of me says to just let it go...that Satan's attacking me and I can't and won't give him the upper hand.
Chad's sleeping so I can't go and talk to him about it, and I don't want to wake him over this.

I know God will lead me and I know I have to fully hand this over to him and let him deal with the person or persons who are not only gossiping, but full out lying.

Pro 16:28
A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

Gossip hurts and destroys.

Chad update!

Chad had surgery on Tuesday to remove the rod from his shoulder and from his spine and all went perfectly! We're so very thankful. It was such a very long day in general, we had a friend keep all 4 kids for us, which was a huge blessing, Chad had changed same friends brakes and rotars on her truck so that'd be done before her husband returns from his deployment in a few weeks. By the time we left her place it was almost midnight, we got home, tossed laundry into the dryer, took a shower, and finally got to bed, we got around 2 or so hours of sleep and then the alarm was going off to get up and head out for our 1 1/2 hr drive to the hospital. We were later than they told him, but they didn't seem to even notice, they got him in the room got him settled in and told us we could sleep for an hour or two until they came to take him down, which was a huge blessing. The day before I'd talked to one of the drs and he'd told me I'd be able to go see him in recovery after he'd been in there for an hour, that never happened. They took him down to the OR at 9:30 and at 3:00 I was finally able to see him. To say it was a long day, is putting it lightly! I was so exhausted. I stayed with him for about 30 minutes so I could make it back for Emma's last soccer game, he was doing well, but of course very tired. He was good when we called him that evening, and yesterday he was feeling much better. Today they took out the drainage tube from his shoulder and did xrays to take a look at his shoulder and spine and said all looked great. We will go pick him up in the morning!!!

We are so very blessed that God gave us a miracle with Chad's life. We do not take that for granted and are reminded that he is still a God who does give miracles. We've been on the otherside where it didn't feel like he did, when he took Jordyn home, but he gave her and us a miracle by not allowing her to suffer and loving her so much that he allowed her to return to Him, that can be hard to remember sometimes, but it's true whether I remember it or not. I'm so thankful we serve such an awesome, loving, merciful, and just GOD!

Thank you for all your prayers and support as well. We're so very blessed!