September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

It's the disease that no one wants to talk about, much less think about, yet it kills more children than Cystic Fibrosis, Muscular Dystrophy, Asthma, and AIDS COMBINED. COMBINED. Every single day 46 children will be diagnosed with a form of childhood cancer. Each year 12,600 children will be diagnosed with cancer. One in every 330 children will be diagnosed with a form of childhood cancer by the time they are 20 years old. My daughter, Jordyn is one of those children, she was one of the 330 children when she was diagnosed just 6 days before her 1st birthday, she is part of the children who died from it as well. Jordyn is not and was not and never will be just a statistic, she's not just "another number", she is and always will be my daughter. My first born. She made me a mother and began a love affair that will never end. She stole my heart from the moment that stick formed 2 lines, she took a piece of my heart right to Heaven with her and it remains and will always remain there until the day I join her.

Cancer is not something that just happens to the people down the street. It happens to your next door neighbor, to your dearest friend, and it can happen to your child. You can not live in denial or pretend it does not happen, because let me tell you it's happening every single day. A child and his or her parents world is turned upside down and inside out, and the life the knew before is over, and over forever. Never for the rest of their life will ever be the same. I can promise you that.

This month I urge you to wear a GOLD Ribbon where can you get one...well http://www.goldribbons.com/ . Two of our favorite places to donate to for research of childhood cancer is : http://www.stbaldricks.org/ and http://www.curesearch.org/

Don't let another day go by, where you think bad things don't happen to kids. Remember they do, and do something about it. Remember that there are children fighting, there are children about to go into the fight for their life, there are children living a life after that fight with difficulties, and there are children who won the fight and are with JESUS now.

Jordyn shortly after she was diagnosed in the German hospital she was initially treated in, before her hair fell out. That smile never stopped, neither will my love for her.

Choosing Thomas

I found this link from Suzanne and whew, wiping the tears away still, but although tears aren't always the funnest thing to shed, but they make us human, that we have a heart and compassion. This video is about a precious little boy Thomas who was born with Trisomy 13 and other health issues, and it's also about the fact that although his parents were told abortion was something they could "do" they chose life, they chose to have Thomas live for what ever amount of time outside of the womb that GOD intended for him, and because of that they were allowed to feel a love like one they'd never felt before.

Prayers answered!

God has blessed our family even more. Chad has needed to extend so that he could then re-enlist, and our prayers are for us to stay here. Well the extention went through finally! He'll reenlist in October (new fiscal year). We're so thankful. Things were just a little too close to comfort I can tell you that.

GOD is awesome and mighty and even if it hadn't worked out how we wanted it to, he'd still be AWESOME and MIGHTY! I am so thankful though!

See My Blessings!

How blessed am I? One Amazing husband, 3 beautiful children here on earth, and one beautiful, amazing, blessed girl waiting for me in the arms of Jesus!

Jackson's 6!

Yesterday Jackson turned 6. If you're a Momma you understand how fast time goes by (and if you don't, let me tell you it's flying by in front of your eyes). How precious this time is, how fast it all goes by. I pray that I cherish each day and never take one for granted. I know tomorrow is not promised and if we're blessed to get it, it will be over in a blink of an eye.

Faithfulness

God is soveriegn! He's gracious in any and all circumstances, it's how we handle those situations, what our attitude is towards, that's often not! I've honestly done the best I know how to truly Trust GOD, ask him that His will be my will, I was asking him that all day and into the evening (it should be 24/7 shouldn't it!) but ultimaely over the situation that is what I was wanting his will to over take my own and make my will into his. We got good news, things should be more finalized on Monday, once they are I will go into more details, if I feel led to. Right now though just thank you for the prayers. Even when we're scared, GOD is there, he's still sovereign over all things and it's an absolute must that we remember that.

I know I shouldn't be surprised, but can't help but be when he actually blesses us in ways we have desired. I literally was asking friends to be praying in 3's, knowing GOD's promise with that. I have a friend who has 6 children and they were all going to pray together...when 3 or more gather...:)

Here's the thing though, even if GOD had not answered this prayer, this desire, this on our part desperation..he'd still be a good and gracious GOD! He'd still be Lord, the Almighty, the Alpha and the Omega and everything in between. How greatly we're each blessed.
None of us knows what tomorrow brings, how GOD's going to use that day to teach us valuable lessons. Guess what he's teaching us every single day, and every single moment of that day.

Lord I want to see all the blessings that you bestow on me and around me. Thank you Jesus, Thank you.


I now officially can not keep my eyes open!

God Bl

God's Promises

Today we went from being so excited, to full of concern and yes worry. I will not worry, it's of Satan and not of GOD. I just came upon these verses and what GREAT promises they are and words I'm holding onto tightly.

Just the reminders I need: He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord (Psalm 112:7).

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds (Psalm 73:28).

Our life may be heading towards a change we never expected and honestly one Chad and I do not want and are kicking and screaming over, but we're trusting GOD. We're scared of the uncertainty, but one thing I know and do not doubt is that GOD knows, this is in GOD's control, and we're trusting him fully. There are no actual certainty's in this life, except for one....that GOD is GOD, he does not change. He loves us, has forgiven us of our sins, through his Son JESUS Christ, and because of that, I have no true worries.

If you would like to pray for our family right now, I would appreciate them. For God's will to be our will. For us to fear not, and continue to trust in HIM, even through our little rain shower!

Perspectives

Tonight a friend and I were talking and she told me that I appeared to keep it all together. I rarely, if ever feel that way. If you saw our home, you'd know that too. Seriously it's a mess, yup even with Chad home, it's a mess. Tomorrow I'm getting off my butt and getting things done....1st laundry, then my living room and dining room, and my bathroom. Chad's off on Monday and Tuesday and we are going to make those days count, whether he likes it or not! I'm going to go pick up paint tomorrow! hehehe! Ok so back to that first statement! I read others blogs or talk to friends and think the same thing about them, yet how many of us actually FEEL the way others see us? How many of us feel like we have it all together? How many of us actually feel like we're just hanging on by a thread? How many of us feel like we don't have a lot to truly say, wonder if anyone's actually listening, and more so if anyone really cares about what little we do have to say?

Here's the thing about me, I think I'm a very boring person. I think that's the first time I've ever said it out loud. Often I feel like I have very little to share, when I do want to share seems like few people care to listen. It could just be me and my insecurities. Do you know though, that through all my insecurities, concerns, even my worries (you know that thing GOD tells us not to do, but we foolishly do?!)...that through it all I hear a whisper in my ear that I'm not of those things, but I'm everything he says I am. Beautiful, special, his creation. How easily I forget, how easily I allow Satan's lies to penetrate my heart and mind. Why do I do that? Why do so many of us do that? He convinces us that all the beautiful things our friends and loved ones tell us, that it's just not true. Maybe I don't have it all together, but she see's the good things I'm doing and what I'm doing, most of all she see's my heart and loves me. What I have to remember and keep focused on is that all the good and wonderful things my friends and loved ones see in me, GOD see's even more, loves me even more, cherishes me even more, and adores me even more.

Oh GOD let me hear your truth not as a whisper, Lord, but as a booming voice. Let your truths drown out Satan's lies to me. Let me be reassured of who I am in you and because of you, but that I do get so confident that I forget that I'm nothing without you. Father, you made me in your image, let my image glorify you. Let me shine in and through you. Help me Lord, to be a better daughter of yours. Let me remember that although as human's we step out on our own away from our earthly parents, we never step away from you, that you're here step by step. Lord let me be the wife you made me to be. Let me support him, be submissive, and love him the way you created me to love him. Help me Lord, oh Father to be the mother you want me to be. I feel like I'm always falling down in that area Lord. Let me be gentle with them, with tender voices, and a tender hand. Lord let me love and discipline them as you call me to do, and not as my own nature calls me to do. Thank you Lord for creating me, for loving me, for forgiving me. I am not worthy of any of it, but because of you, you have washed away my sins and called me Worthy! You my Lord are Holy.
Amen.


I challenge each of you reading this to look at how others see you, and how you see yourself, and then how GOD see's you. I challenge you to see yourself as GOD see's you. I'd love for you to write an entry on what GOD see's in you, and link leave your link in my comments so I can go read them. Then if anyone joins in, I'll post the link and share with others. Let our perspectives be that of GOD today and from here on.

My Sister In Law (SIL)

I don't talk a lot about my extended family on here, mostly I guess because they're not in my day to day life. We live/stationed in Germany and they live in Kansas (and Chad's family in Ohio). Growing up I can't say I really liked my brother all that much. I'm 1 yr 2 weeks older than him and we fought like CRAZY. I mean, physical fighting. We beat the tar out of each other, often on a daily basis. I really did NOT like him. When we became teenagers things got better, weren't that close, but got a long for the most part. He beat up a guy I was dating who'd shoved me (my brother's over 6 feet tall and was in very good shape...well I was 5'9 and good shape, but that boyfriend was only about an inch shorter than my brother and in shape as well....lets just say I could hold my own for the most part, but when you're literally cornered by a jealous soon to be ex, not good). Any ways, as we became adults we grew closer and appreciated each other. Now as siblings who are married to people we both really like, no love, and both parents, and each adore the others children, we're much closer.
My brother (P) and his wife (M) are great. They love each other so much, respect each other and have built a beautiful family, my 2 beautiful, wonderful, fabulous nieces!! (B.E. & B.A.). Ok so there's the back story you could say. In Feb. on my brother's birthday he got his notice that he was being laid off from his job. He was also going to college full time (as is/was M). My brother was in the Army for 3 years, so he had the GI Bill. He unfortunately is at the point that time has ran out on the GI Bill (in case you don't know, there's a time limit that you have to use the GI Bill). So this fall semester is it for him, then no more money to go towards his college. He has a few more months left of unemployment, which he was hoping could help them get through until he was done with classes this semester, so that he could then get his degree and find a job as a Life Flight Nurse or ER Nurse. With his GI Bill running out though, things changed and then he also found out that there was about 0 hope of him getting his old job back, since those positions have been filled by illegals who don't get paid even 1/4 what he was getting paid and of course no health insurance, etc. So although he didn't want to go back to work there forever, getting paid almost $30.00 an hour, getting about 50-60 hours a week, and health insurance was something he wanted as he finished his degree.
Since my brother is a Veteran, he has medical through them. The girls have medical, my "M" does not and she is the one who's ended up sick, very sick. It all started as a UTI, she wasn't 100% it was a UTI so she didn't go to the dr, since she didn't have insurance and didn't want to add extra expense if she didn't have to. She ended up getting VERY sick last Tuesday night and my brother took her into the ER in our hometown. What had started as a UTI had turned into a Kidney infection. They gave her antibiotics and told my brother to watch her closely, and get her back in if she got sicker. By 11 AM she was sicker. She wasn't sure where she was, vomitting, and high fever. The hospital admitted her, she was now septic. (The infection had spread to her blood). Stronger antibiotics, they couldn't give her any pain medication for the kidney infection because her blood pressure was so low it was too dangerous. She was in the hospital for a couple of days and they sent her home. They left the iv in her and she went in every day for intravenous antibiotic.
Yesterday she called me and said she was still hurting from the kidney infection, although it wasn't as bad as it had been, but that something was going on with her throat. She felt horrible and her tongue had white spots on it, and that she had a huge lump (or something) in her throat. They were concerned it was possibly mumps, strep, or much less worrisome thrush. She went in yesterday at 2:45 and they diagnosed her with the FLU. Seriously.

So with that, please be in prayer for her. The infection is now gone, but she's now dealing with the flu. Tonight my brother said she was feeling a lot better, but still hurting and weak. Pray for strength, physically and emotionally. Pray for healing that there's no kidney damage (this is a big concern), she's concerned over this. (Her brother has already had a kidney transplant and has not taken care of his body the way he should have and is on the transplant list again...which is such an aggrevating thing...if you're a transplant recipient PLEASE take care of your body and please bean organ donor if you are healthy and have no physical reason not to!). We're all very concerned over M's health right now. Please also pray for my brother who's been getting up every 2 hours to take M's blood pressure and tempature. So not a lot of sleep.

I love them all so much and just want M healthy and that my brother doesn't get sick from exhaustion either. Prayers for my nieces as well, as they see their Momma so sick and I think we can all know how confusing and scary it can be to see your Momma sick.

Thank you for the prayers and I'll keep you updated when/if things change.

Frustration

It's 4 AM and I can't sleep. I think it's because in a few hours we will be starting school and so since I need to be up and on my game, ready to teach and guide my children sleep stays away, far away. I WANT to sleep. I got out all the books the boys will be working with tomorrow, I was reminded of what I've yet to order (only science, but science none the less), and well I still WANT to sleep.

Everyone that doesn't have sleep issue's has tons of advice, various things to try, things to take, etc. I'm going to get off of here in a minute but would like to ask for prayers for sleep to come, that I'll get what I need and that I will feel refreshed and ready to take on our day.