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Thanks to all who answered my last posts questions, it's always interesting to see how others do and celebrate things. It was also nice to see no one was extravagant in what they give, especially from the toothfairy as the couple of examples that I know of. Most people I know don't go to the extremes but there are always some.

Last night I wrote a post, it was my heart, very bare, raw, my face was a red, tear stained mess afterwards and I had to take my contacts out since everything was blurred from the tears. I am not posting it, for a couple reasons...it was just too raw and after I was done found it was more for me to get out and give over to GOD. All I can say is I'm struggling right now with a deep sadness that I struggle to even find words for. I've went to those who I trust the most in human form to pray for me far more specifically and ask that you all will pray for me as well. I'm not a "good vibes" woman, I'm a prayerful woman, because honestly vibes don't do a thing...only prayer to our one and true Heavenly Father will. I can say I'm hurting, I'm sad, and I know only the Lord can fill this void up for me. Maybe one day GOD will lead me to share more indepth but right now I don't feel it, other than what he's telling me right now.

I'm holding my Emma girl as I type this. Dinner is cooking, I JUST got kisses from Emma, the boys are taking the dog out, and honestly I'm ready for the kids to go to bed, so I can finally have some quiet time, spend some much needed time with the Lord one on one, dig into my bible as I so desperately need, and finish up reading the book I'm reading, Little Women (btw...read this wonderful classic if you never have!).

Sorry for such a boring kind of cryptic post, I really dislike these sort of postings in general. I do so appreciate the prayers.