I Don't Want This

This has been the 2nd worst week of my life and I want it to stop, to be a nightmare and I'm ready to wake up....oh please let me wake up. First Chad in his horrible accident (who's had surgery, it went well, and he's slowly starting on the road to recovery) to finding out that this morning one of my best friends, someone who I chat with nearly every single day, has died. My dear sweet friend Rebekah had been battling ITP, which is a platelett disease. She did chemo for 8 weeks and it did not work, so they decided she'd have her spleen removed. She was admitted Monday for testing, surgery was scheduled for Wednesday. She passed out Wednesday morning, and they did a CT Scan which showed up clear. They rescheduled her surgery for Friday. Last night she started having trouble breathing, so they did a XRay and found she had multiple pulmonary embolisms. They immediately started her on a drug to treat them, she coded and after trying to get her back they were not able to. This just does not feel real. I mean how could it? How could she just been gone like that? No time to say goodbye. I told her goodnight and that I loved her last night as we ended our conversation, she's not supposed to be gone.
She was a Christian and I believe she's with Jesus. I'm selfish. I want her back, not in Heaven yet. She has two little boys still to raise. She has a degree to finish. I wanted to see her again. Oh I want this to not be real.
I love her and I miss her. She was an amazing woman. A woman who's faith and trust was in Jesus Christ. Who did everything she could for her children. Who had dreams and goals and was going against all odds to make them come true.

I never dreamed she'd be gone so young, so quickly. She's not even been gone 24 hours and I miss her so much.