I was catching up on a couple blogs and read one about how she annoys herself. One thing she said annoyed her was parents who just allow their child to throw a fit and they don't do anything. It got me to thinking about how judgemental I am, we all are. It's so very easy to sit back and judge another mom and/or dad. Easy to judge another wife, woman. More often than not though, we do not know their story.

I have a friend whose son was recently dx with quite a few different issue's, one being PTSD. Now if you're not in the military, you may not know that acronym. If you are in the military you probably know it well. Post Trumatic Stress Disorder. This is common in Soldiers (and other military members), is becoming more common in spouses who've been through multiple deployments (yeah I probably have it),but it's recently been children being dx with it. Sadly my dear friend is dealing with it and so much more. When he starts having a meltdown she simply has to let it go forward, let him finish and then once he's done talk with him. If she tries to "interfere" or "parent" as some would like to call it, he goes into a whole new level. Now from an onlooking looking on at my friend and her son, they'd think she's just ignoring him or doing nothing. The reality is, she's doing exactly what she's found works best with him, as well as what his psychiatrist, psychologist, and specialist.

How many of us stand back and judge others. Parenting or what we deem as lack of parenting? Marriages? Friendships? How they do their job (what ever it may be). Oh we are so full of sin, self-loathing, judgement, self-righteousness. We can't see the board that's in our own eye, while pointing out the thorn in someone else's.
I want to be Godly. I want to be like Jesus. I want to love another far more than I judge. If I'm judging I want it to be righteous judgement, not my own. I want a heart like Jesus, vs the heart that I have. I want to be gentle, yet firm. I want to be blunt, but with love in my heart and tone. Wednesday was my birthday. I had so many birthday wishes, and so many nice things said to me. None do I feel worthy of. I was humbled. I was embarrassed. I felt and still do feel unworthy of such admiration spilled upon me. The reality is, I'm so fallen, so unkind at times, so unloving, and most definitely so unlovable....yet to view me through those who wrote on my facebook wall....I would look like a warm, lovely, kind-hearted, Godly woman. I want to be the woman so many see me as. I want to see me as GOD see's me.

This song just popped in my head:

"No Higher Calling" by Jonathan Butler


Down at your feet Oh Lord
Is the most high place
In your presence Lord,
I Seek your face
I Seek your face

Down at your feet Oh Lord
Is the most high place
In your presence Lord,
We Seek your face
We Seek your face

There is no higher calling
No greater honor
Than to bow and kneel before your throne
I am amazed at your glory
Embraced by your mercy
Oh Lord, I live to worship you


How I long to be at Jesus's feet. How heavy my heart is some days when I think of how unworthy I am, how far I have to go to be what GOD has called me to be. I don't want to judge others. I don't want to look at them and only see faults. I want to look at them through the eyes of Jesus. If I see sin, I want to go to them as a sister in Christ and speak with them as HE calls me to, not as my own "self" wants. Pray for me as I seek to be more like Jesus. To love like him, to walk like him, to fall on my knee's before him.