May 8

It's after midnight in Germany now, it's officially May 8 and yes "Mother's Day". I know it's a day to honor mothers, to celebrate mothers. I do not want to celebrate this year. IF I could stay in bed all day I would. I won't be allowed to, because life just doesn't work like that (plus we need new mattresses so my back would be aching....but anyways). 11 years ago, my sweet Jordyn Ashleigh took our Lord's hand and went home to Heaven. My heart knows I should celebrate the end of pain and suffering, the end of her battle against cancer. My mothers heart, the heart that aches and longs to feel her in my arms....it aches.

I am so thankful that I know where my child is. I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about her safety, her heart, her soul. I miss her though. I miss her smell, the sound of her voice, her laughter, her smile, the twinkle in her eyes, her singing. One sweet day I'll have all those things back.

I look to the Lord, he's where my help comes from. I am so thankful I have my Lord to lean on, to depend on....especially as my heart aches.

I love you my sweet Jordyn and miss you so much.