Jacob's Birthday

Today Jacob turned 6 years old. Six years ago I was terrified when I went in to have him. Jordyn had only been dead for 9 months and I was so scared I would not be able to love him. I missed Jordyn, I longed for Jordyn, and the thought of another child was so overwhelming to me. The moment I heard his cries, all the fears left me. I was so deeply in love with him and so protective of him from the moment he took his first breath.

Jacob's been such a gift to our family. He's so smart and funny. He has the biggest heart and loves Jesus.

I truly praise Jesus for the gift of Jacob. I love him so much, as any mother knows there are no words to describe how you love your children. I love that he loves to get dirty, he's all boy, he loves to learn, he loves drawing and coloring (which has become a favorite pass time). He's a wonderful big brother and he's so excited to have another baby to love!

I wish time could slow down, the past 6 years have truly flown by. I think that's normal for most parents. I'm truly in no rush for him (or Jack) to grow up, it's going to happen fast enough. I pray he's enjoyed his childhood so far and pray he will have far more happy memories of his childhood than sad (having Daddy deployed isn't easy).

Happy Birthday to my precious little boy, I love you!

Video Montage

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Pregnancy update

The pregancy is going well. I have my 1st ob apt this coming Tuesday. I'm excited. Here in Germany they do ultra sounds (u/s) at every apt, so I should get to see and hear the babies heart beat! I'll be close to 9 weeks at that point! I've heard only awesome things about this ob!!

I've so far experienced lovely morning sickness. I can not cook hardly at all. Most things just the thought of (food wise) makes me start gagging, so it's just been safer that Chad cook and I am so truly thankful to have a husband that will and does cook! Oh and exhaustion, it's knocked me on my butt, literally!! I just really am struggling to get going in the morning. It's all part of pregnancy and I know in 3 or 4 weeks I will start having more energy and feeling better and will once again be able to cook full time again.

I would say I feel guilty, to well honestly I don't. I'm growing a baby and rest is important and if it's between getting sick via cooking or letting my husband who although doesn't always want to cook, but is willing....I'm letting him. This is a short season of life and ultimately it's just a blip on the map and will be over before we know it. In our nearly 10 yrs of marriage I've not cooked 3 months with Jack's pg. and this preg. so far not cooked about 4 weeks, so I don't think I need to feel bad. Ultimately I still keep the house up, laundry done (well kind of, not a laundry fan at all), and taken care of our children. This is my job and I am thankful for it.

With my last pregnancy (Jackson) I made the goal of truly enjoying the pregnancy since with my 1st two I didn't. With Jordyn I just wanted to have her so bad and hold her in my arms. With Jacob I was grieving the death of Jordyn and extremely sick. I just did not enjoy the pregnancies like I should have (well at least with Jordyn) or appreciated the life growing inside of me (with Jacob) as I should/could have. So with Jack I truly did enjoy my pregnancy and I'm determined to enjoy this one (especially once this phase of the pregnancy is over). I'm excited to start feeling the baby move and for the boys to experience it! Jacob was 2 throughout my pregnancy with Jack and although he was (still is) very intelligent, not the same level of comprehension an almost 6 yr old has. Jack will be 4 right after the baby is born so although not the same level of comprehension of Jacob, I do think he gets it for the most part! I'm excited for the boys to get to feel the baby move and SEE the baby move!

I am so truly blessed to be able to have children. I know that. I have a friend here who her and her husband have been trying for 10 yrs to get pg. She's actually seeing my ob in hopes of getting help to get pg. She is so excited for us though and that is a blessing as well. To have a friend who is struggling to get pg, yet who rejoices for our blessing. I am really trying to keep that as a focus right now. I know she'd love to feel naueous, exhausted, etc. God has truly blessed women to be able to feel life inside of them!

I am in awe that God has give us this gift now 4 times. I will continue to accept his blessings as long and as many as he wants to give them to me. I don't feel it's my place to reject his blessing. He will provide for us in every way and I HAVE to trust in that. I don't need the newest vehicles or the biggest and newest of homes. God has always made a way for us. I feel blessed that we've had spacing in between our children so that I actually have time to develop baby fever ;) and a bit of a rest in between. Yet even if I didn't have that space and the amount of rest I'd like, I know without a doubt that it'd be in God's will.

Well, I'll post more after my apt!

A few Christmas Gifts

Jack's new Train Conductor outfit. He's all about Thomas the Train. My best friend got this for him and he loves it!



The blanket my mom made for me
(See the sea of toys to the side of me!)

Chad's Army blanket my mom made for him

Below, the German Nativity that I got for him.

The basket that Jack got for me, below the Welcome sign that Jack got for me.

Jacob got me these bells to the left and below the ornament also from Jacob. I love them so much!

Jack's Thomas Train Track, to the left.



Below Jacob's Terradactyl Hotwheel race track



These were the boys Santa gifts.

Jack and Jacob's Castle they got from their Great Grandma W.