Saturday, February 25, 2012


Nothing like cuddles with my sweet little man. Noah's obsessed with balls, all balls. He's got quite the arm too. He's such a happy little boy. I can't believe he's 21 months old already, it seems like I just had him in so many ways. He makes us laugh every day, multiple times a day. I am in awe of what a sweet, but ornery boy he is! He's all boy to the core, yet loves to give hugs and kisses and cuddle. He truly makes my heart sing with gratefulness to the Lord.
My sweet, sassy, funny Emma Grace. This pose cracks me up. This girl was prayed for. Before I was pregnant with her, I prayed the Lord would once again bless us with a daughter the next time he blessed us with a child. Once I was pregnant, I prayed he was weaving a little girl together in my womb. Was he ever! He gave us all our hearts desire and oh so much more. I am here to tell you, that when you pray and do it from your heart, the Lord will answer. I know without a doubt he laughs at us often, because she's ALL GIRL and oh so much more! LOL She loves to snuggle, cuddle, hug, kiss and just constantly be touching us...if she's sitting beside you, she's right up against you! She loves to sing and dance, be a princess, and yet has no problems getting as dirty as any boy! LOL
Our 3rd born, Jackson aka Jack. His imagination never stops. He cracks us up. He's also our sensitive child. His feelings get hurt very easily. He gets frustrated fast, although that is getting better. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He makes us laugh in so many ways. He loves Jesus and loves to sing songs that he wrote himself about the Lord, they're often at least 5 minutes long and often times up to 10 minutes! LOL
Jacob, who now has shorter hair, after a HORRIBLE "trimming" incident gone wrong! Although he's our 2nd child, he's been in the oldest role since the day he was born and he is the classic oldest child. He's very responsible, easy going, and an excellent big brother. He often bares more than his fair share, but rarely complains. He's also full blown into being a tween (aka preteen) and can frustrate me to no ends. The problem with being the "oldest" child and being responsible, is that he sometimes thinks he can do what ever he wants and gets attitude when we don't allow him. We're all struggling to find a balance in more freedom, while not too much freedom.
For you who are parents of toddlers and babies or even just in general younger kids (8 and younger)....having your children get older presents new challenges, excitement, fear, and adventure. I've yet to meet a perfect parent. I've observed parents with older children, picked what I liked and thrown out what I don't agree with, and know that Chad and I have to figure things out ourselves with our kids as well. Our greatest guide in this adventure of parenting, is the Lord and the best parenting book is the Bible. God is the only perfect Parent I've ever come across, and we all break his heart, but wow the grace he shows us. I want to be as Graceful, loving, forgiving, and firm as he is. I want our rules to be as clear cut as his arm. I wish I could say I'm all of those things and that our rules are, but Chad and I are not and they're not. Jacob's been our test child for many things, and I hope he forgives me for the multitude of mistakes I've made and that I can be a better mom to each of the following and that through all of the mistakes I made and will make, my kids will show me grace. I just have to make sure that I'm teaching them grace and forgiveness. I'm here to tell you, it's often not something I'm good at all at teaching. It's a needed prayer that I ask the Lord.
Next week, I'll share our 6th child's picture. I'll show you a child who I'll hopefully make a few less mistakes with, in certain area's, yet will make mistakes with none the less!
Now though, here's our true Oldest who stays Forever young, forever 2 years old, and forever my heart and inspiration to be better, do better, love more, and not take a day for granted.....
We only got to actively parent this beauty for 2 years 1 month and 8 days.....they were the most precious days of my life. Cancer ravaged her little body, and Jesus set her free. Not a day goes by that I don't miss that face, that crooked smile, her smell, her laugh, her dancing eyes. I am so thankful to the Lord for making me her momma. I'm so thankful that I was the one who brought her into this world and the one who was holding her when she left it. She makes me want to be a better person.
Parenting isn't easy. It's full of trials and errors. It's full of love, grace, and forgiveness. In just a few short days we'll begin it again with baby #6.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

It's coming to an end

It's 1 AM here in Germany and tomorrow I have my apt to schedule my c-section!! I'm so excited. We're hoping we only have one more week until we meet our newest blessing!!!! This will be my 6th c-section, it's all I know. I've been in labor twice...with our first and with our 5th. Let me tell you, c-sections are much better when you do NOT have to labor! LOL Thankfully over the years my pain tolerance has sky-rocketed, so Noah's labor wasn't nearly as horrible, and was eventually stopped, and my c-section although earlier than planned proceded later in the evening.

This pregnancy has been so easy, physically for me. I feel very blessed and the baby has been breach up until a couple days ago when I believe the baby flipped head down (this really isn't important when you're having a c-section, plus when the baby is breach you have very little lower back pain, which is soooo nice).

I'm so looking forward to finding out if our family will be welcoming another daughter or a son! This is the 2nd time we've not found out and it's so exciting!! I can not wait to find out and meet this new little person who'll be joining our family. We have 2 girl names picked out, but can not come to an agreement on a boys name, so hopefully if it's a boy we can agree to one quickly. We'll tell our kids first (they'll be staying with a sweet friend) and then Chad will make phone calls to family and friends and shared via Facebook. I'll have my laptop and camera at the hospital with me, so either that evening or the next day I can get online and share pictures.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

It's Part of Life

So as long as I can remember I've had that ability to cry over any and everything, up until the last couple of years, and well the tears don't come all that often. It's been a strange experience for me honestly. I've heard some heartbreaking stories at PWOC of women I care deeply about and there have been times where the tears have no come. Now if you're not naturally one who cries easily, you may think "yeah, big deal" but if you're like me and cry easily, you can see where this is well a little freaky. I really believe God's taken the weepiness from me, but he's been allowing some of it to come back a bit at a time.

So tonight in my very,very pregnant state (we're talking only weeks now from having this baby) I sent a friend of mine a message on facebook. She's leaving right at the same time I'm going to be having this baby. She's been so excited for our family, she rubs my belly and is constantly talking to the baby and constantly stating that she believes firmly this is a girl and honestly if it's not, I think she'll be devestated! LOL Anyways, as I wrote to her, tears filled my eyes as the very well known reality for me hit my heart that one of my dearest friends will most likely not be here when this baby is placed in my arms.

Now I've been an Army wife for 15 years and I know the Army is a small "world", but there are friends you just don't run into may keep in touch on facebook or email, but there are friends you'll simply never be stationed with again. It hurts. We only have a couple more years until retirement, we know where we plan to retire (yes we realize that God may have different plans and if so we'll follow him). The thing is, this friend is leaving in a few weeks and we'll never be stationed together again, most likely. Army life isn't always easy. Deployments are not easy, some duty stations are not the best, some units well they just suck to be a part of, and saying "good-bye" or "see you later" to friends is HARD.

Tonight the tears flowed so easily as I thought of my friend leaving. I know other Army and well military wives in general deal with this. So tonight for you non-military readers as you go to bed think of and pray for military families who have to say goodbye to good friends. Our lives are our choices in many ways (the soldiers, etc didn't HAVE to sign the dotted line, but they chose to and I hope you're all thankful they did to protect all of us and fight for what's right)...even when you know the life you're in, that saying goodbye is part of that life and saying it often, it doesn't mean it hurts any less to say goodbye to that precious friend. If you learn anything as a military family it's make friends fast and love them deeply, because you don't know how long you're going to have them in your day to day life before you or them are off to a new duty station.