Saturday, May 30, 2009

HE Loves You!

Speaker is: Graham Cooke

Singer is Jonathan David Helser

Album: The Awakening

Song: Inheritance

I heard this tonight at our PWOC Spring Rally and yes I admit I'm a crier, and the tears were flowing, but there was also no way I could possibly talk. Listening to it again is giving me chills. Hear the truth. Hear how much GOD loves you. HE LOVES us radically.

I heard a great quote tonight that I believe is from Anne Graham Lots: Jesus Loves You, Deal With It. AMEN sisters.


Monday, May 25, 2009

I don't know if there is a "Not Me Monday" today, but either way I'm not playing, not this week.
Today is special to my heart. I'm an Army wife who's husband has been deployed 5 times in our marriage of 12 years, 3 of those deployment have been to Iraq. We've lost some VERY closer friends throughout the last 6 years. I've shed many tears today thinking of our friends who've died. I know some were Christians, yet am not sure of a couple of them and that truly grieves my heart.
I can only speak from my experience over the last 12 years as an Army wife, but here's what I've discovered...
The men and women who serve in the military (my experience is ARMY) some are the most amazing people you'll ever meet. Some are the most undesirable people you'd ever not want to meet. Some are kind, loving, funny, gentle, humble, caring, devoted. Some are ignorant, cruel, harsh, egotistical, and slanderous. Some see the Army as an opportunity to make the world a better place, to give something back to our Country and to GOD, to make something out of their lives, to be proud of. Some well lets just say not so much.
You see, I've seen all types. The men (and women) who can truly be called Hero's and the ones who WANT to be called Hero's. The ones who believe in what they're fighting for and the ones who could care less.
Here's the thing though....when tragedy strikes so much of it just does not matter. So much of it becomes petty and silly. Because, they've given the ultimate price no matter what they believed. They are the ones who this day becomes all about.
Memorial Day is not about BBQ's and family reunions. It's not about the unofficial 1st day of summer, when the pools across the country open up. It's not about all those silly things that truly don't mean a thing. It's about sacrifice of lives. It's about the sacrifice of the soldier. It's about the sacrifice of his fami (please understand I do not want this to be about me). It's about the families left behind to mourn. It's about never forgetting how blessed we all are. It's about little girls and boys growing up without Daddy and sometimes Mommy. It's about the wife trying to figure out, how she's going to do this all on her own. It's about the parents living their worst nightmare (out living their child). It's about those who are left behind, while remembering those who left us in the ultimate sacrifice.

You may or may not agree with our soldiers in Iraq, and some of you may even not agree with us being in Afghanistan (although I seriously don't understand why and if you even Attempt to argue your point, it'll be deleted so do not bother). Here's the facts though. We ARE in both
of those countries. We ARE making a difference in those countries and their peoples lives, and there are casualties with war. We can never forget. We can never forget who gave us the rights we have now as Americans. When one turns their back on the ones defending our country, they're turning their back on their country.

With that I'll leave you with one of my favorite poems. I have this on a long board (painted as an American Flag with the poem on top of it) hanging on my wall.

by Father Dennis Edward O'Brien United States Marine Corps]
"It is the Soldier, not the reporter,Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the Soldier, not the poet,Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer,Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the Soldier, not the lawyer,Who has given us the right to a fair trial.It is the Soldier, who salutes the flag, Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,Who allows the protestor to burn the flag."

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Email to Blog

Yesterday my friend Amanda shared a website and asked my opinion on it, to see if I felt the same way, etc. She'd left a comment and oh the ugliness that came afterwards was so disheartening. The women attacked her. They accused her of the things they were doing to her, being judgemental, harsh, mean, etc. She stated her opinion, but as I read their replies to her what I found was that they were so offended because they felt guilty for their own choices. I think often of my own defensiveness, it's because I know I've done something that's wrong for me and/or my children and when someone shows me that, it hurts and you want to defend yourself. Here's what I wrote last night to Amanda and she encouraged me to share it. IF you feel offended by this, I ask that you do two things...
1. Remember this is my blog and my opinion and feelings and that I have every right to express this.
2. Maybe the reason you feel offended is because GOD is tell you YOU something.

Here is what I wrote in an email last night to Amanda:

Tonight at bible study we read and studied on Roman's 14. Goodness, Amanda, I kept thinking of that blog and how you're most likely dealing with women who are either not Christians or are not in the same place in their walk as you are. I'd encourage you to read Roman's 14. When I go there and reply, I'm going to pray first, to make sure I can be edifying and not flame the fires. It makes me so sad that they are all blinded by the lies that Satan is feeding them and I DO believe he is. He's fed our whole society on lies.
The lie that both parents must work and that it's a "luxury" for mom to stay home and raise their children. Lies that we just can't live without 2 cars, that brand new house, the newest this or that (or even a used version of it), that we must have cable and 500 channels, that we must update this or that, we must be in style and so must our children. That if our cell phones don't have this or that, then it's just not good enough, that we must, we must, we must. When the truth is, we don't. Yet our society has fallen into Satan's lies, including the fact that both parents must work. That it's ok and justifiable because well "Grandma's" watching the kids or "Aunt so and so is" or for Christians "They go to a Christian....daycare, preschool, private school", yes those can be wonderful gifts...but are they taking away the GOD given GIFT of being a parent and doing these things ourselves? I don't believe home schooling is for everyone, but I do believe that if GOD calls us to do it, we ARE to obey him. That if we're not called, we're to encourage our brothers and sisters who are and not say "oh I could never do that, I don't have the patience." Many women have imo fallen into the trap that Feminism has given us all this "power" when all it has done is destroy families, destroy women by who GOD made us to be, and hurt children. Our society is NOT better off because Mommy is a high powered lawyer and little Debbie is being raised by a Nanny or daycare center for 12-14 hours a day, and Mommy has 10 minutes of downtime to tuck her in, sometimes. Our marriages are definitely not better off because husband and wife are barely seeing each other and when they do, they're both so exhausted they can't encourage and pamper the other one. Often roles are being reversed and the men's role in his family are being down graded as Head of the House to "just another body" in the house. It's sad and so many have fallen for this lie.

Any ways my point is I'm praying and praying for you. I wanted to share this song with you too. I found it from another blog and ended up doing a search and buying the sheet music on it so that I can sing it at church hopefully in a couple of months! I just think it's so beautiful. A few weeks ago I sang "Does Anybody Hear Her" by Casting Crowns. This is imo just as powerful, but in another way. It's Addison Road's, What Do I Know Of Holy. I found this from Kelly at Kelly's Korner

Friday, May 22, 2009

Sharing God's Word

So how many of you knew that Kris Allen, the young man who just won American Idol, is a Christian? He is! I found this over at Kelly's.
Go read as she has an awesome information of how Kris was sharing the TRUTH with Adam, let's all pray that Adam will be surrounded by Christians who are as bold as Kris. I'm also praying that Kris will follow in the steps of Mandisa and go into the Christian music industry. It'd be great to get to hear his talent there! With that, take a listen!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

12 Months

We're at the 12 month mark. Can I just tell you that I FEEL it? I feel like my husband's been deployed for 12 months. I feel like I've been going at this on my own for 12 months. I feel like I'm at my wits end and honestly not sure how I'm going to do it for 6 more weeks. Honestly I'm so very, very, very thankful we don't have to do the full 3 extra months. Some of you may think "well it's just 3 more months, big deal you've done 12" well let me tell you it's a HUGE DEAL. Walk a year in my shoes and let me know how reasonable you feel about 3 MORE months, or eve 6 more weeks?

I'm not "strong", I'm not "amazing", I'm also not a woman who thrives on being independent from my husband. I feel strongly that biblically we're called to be a help mate to our husband's. That we're to NOT be the head of the household, that is our husband's job. May I tell you that when they deploy, those lines get rather blurred at times. How do you not become the head of your home when he's gone and you're left to do it on your own? If there's other Christian Army wives out there, that have figured this out, seriously please share your secret. Chad calls almost daily, I share with him the daily struggles if the kids are misbehaving or something has happened. (I with Chad don't think it helps them ANY to not share when things aren't going perfectly. He WANTS to know. Sometimes he actually does have an answer for the problem of the day!!!). Anyways, it's a struggle for me.

We are seeing the light of this long deployment. We have officially surpassed all other deployments. It is a way of life at this point, but I'm not enjoying it much. I love my children and enjoy them all all that they bring to my life. As a whole though, I miss and long for my husband. I don't want to be a single parent and although I'm not, often we're placed in that situation. There are times I have to make decisions that I'd never make without his input if he were here. There are times that I just want to curl up in a ball and cry and stay in bed all day long. I can't though. I have to get up and make the most of our days and just get through them.

I'm trying to focus on what we have in front of us. This is our last week of school I decided. So next week I'm going to take the kids to Playmobil for a day of fun and celebration that school is out. I am planning on taking them swimming one day in the next week or two as well. We're going to start going on daily walks and bike rides, and we'll continue daily reading for both boys. We'll go to Tuckerland's too (an indoor play place). Hopefully the temps get warmer, so we can start going to the outdoor pool too. I don't want to overwhelm us with activities, but want to make life fun and help the time go by as quickly as possible until Chad's home. The 2nd full week of June the kids and I are heading to Italy! I'm excited! We'll be spending our days at the beach, playing in the ocean! We will go to Pisa, since it's about 15 minutes away. I'm debating if we'll go to Florence or not, just depends on my mood you could say! :)

Thank you for the prayers over the last 12 months, we definitely still need them for the next 6 weeks. I think they'll be are longest and hardest in many ways.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

It's a beautiful day

Yes, it's a better day! Whew! Yesterday was not good, so let me say how thankful I am for not only today, but even yesterday. You often take for granted your good days if you have no bad ones. So my appreciation for today is that much greater!

It's beautiful today, the sun is shining, the temps are perfect, it's just a gorgeous day here in Germany. Emma's finishing up her nap and once she's up we'll join the boys at the park. (The went with our neighbor boy and his dad). I'm going to grill out for dinner (brats).

Today I had a board meeting for PWOC. I prayed over this and really felt GOD leading me to this position. He made me step outside of my box first and put in for the Prayer position, it was taken and I admit I was a bit relieved, as that's something outside of my comfort zone (praying weekly in front of our body of women). I truly believe he was just seeing if I'd be obedient. The other position I said I was interested in, and that I have a true heart for is Hearts at Home. I'll be ministering to our deployed spouses. Right now we have loose plans to have 2 dinners, one in the fall and one in the spring. We'll be giving encouragement, a family movie night with snacks, we'll be doing some craft days, and a monthly encouragement. I'm excited to see how things go this year. This is only the 2nd year of this position in our chapter, last year was nice, but just the beginning. I'm hoping with my past experience as the Outreach coordinator that I can Glorify GOD, while lifting up our women who's husband's are deployed.

Well, I have to go. Emma's up! Time to get our Vitamin D!! :)

Tchuss (bye in German)

Monday, May 18, 2009

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not have a child work on ONE subject of school work today, and after 5 hours finally finish. No that would never happen here, my children get their school work done in a very timely manner.

Said child above, did not keep having to "pee" every 5 minutes (literally) and I did not finally forbid him bathroom privileges until he was done and surely that child did NOT have an "accident" in his pants and I did not make him clean it up, but make him finish his school work before he could shower. I am surely NOT THAT MEAN (or gross).

I am NOT glad that Sunday is over this week, just because it was my busiest/craziest day.

I did not totally have a great time shopping in Czech, buying fabulous knock off purses with my friend Heather.

I absolutely do not LOVE haggling at the "Asian Dragon Market" either. I also not proud of Heather for learning the art of haggling and become great at it!

I did NOT enjoy that time in Czech childfree. :X Ok you know what I did, I loved it, it was the highlight of my week without a doubt! (I rarely get childfree moments when Chad's gone, give me a break if you are thinking of knocking me).

I am NOT sick and tired of the liberal media putting a spin, feeling they have the right to change others words, decisions, etc.

I am definitely not ready for my husband to come home.

I can not, not believe that on Thursday it'll mark 12 months since Chad deployed.

I do not need to get to sleep, since it's 2 AM and I have a board meeting for PWOC at 9 AM.

Come join in, and tell us what you've not done!

I'm grouchy and have a horrible headache. Jackson is STILL working on his school work, at 5:30 PM. I'm at the end of my rope with that boy. He's going to bed as soon as he finishes his school work, eats, and takes a shower. OF course at his rate, that'll still be 8:30. I'm just tired of the fight with this child over doing his school work. He's been working on his italic handwriting since 1:00. Ridiculous isn't it? It is! He thinks writing sloppy is ok, and of course we know that handwriting lessons are about learning to write nicely, but he wants to rush through it and it's not going to be acceptable. I don't except a 5 year old to write perfectly, but I DO expect effort! Sadly Jacob has far more school work than Jack and he's been done for over 2 hours now! They're very different and that's fine and wonderful, truly. I have always known that Jack would learn differently than Jacob. This today though is not acceptable. I just am at the end of my rope today.

BTW if you're not a homeschooler, here's a word of advice. When talking with a home school parent, do not say, "Oh I could never homeschool I do not have the patience". Let me tell you a not so big secret...patience is NOT required, sure it's helpful, but it's not part of it. For our family, we were called by GOD to do this and are obeying. Trust me there are days that the thought of sending the kids off to someone else, sounds REALLY appealing, but we wouldn't be obeying and doing what was best for our children. Most days I LOVE homeschooling, today is NOT one of them though. Today I'm annoyed, frustrated, and getting angry. Taking deep breaths right now, big, deep breaths.

Seriously is this deployment NOT over yet? Because I'm done. I'm so done. I'm tired and exhausted and need my husband, my children's father...HOME NOW. We're only a few days from our 1 yr mark, 12 months people. How many of you know what it's like to have your husband gone for this long? If you know, you know it's not easy. You know that from time to time, you just want to blow. That bad moods take over your day, and that you want to blow. Most days are actually good, there are just days like today. I'm worn out. I'm READY for my husband to come home.

I know GOD will sustain me, and I NEED and MUST lean on him right now. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact and promise.

Army Wife and Mom

If you want me to read your post, I need you to leave a link, since you've not activated your blogger to show your blog link for others.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Don't Believe all you hear/read via the media

With all the media and even the interview of Sgt. Russell's father, don't believe all you're hearing and reading. I'm here to say this...our Battalion was absolutely doing all they could to get him help. They were not trying to kick him out of the Army. He was planning on retiring, he'd bought a HOUSE in his hometown, just earlier this month! There were many who had been reaching out to him, talking to him, making sure he got referrals to the stress clinic. IMO and yes this is just my opinion the fault lies with the stress clinic. There are things that some of us know, but we can not share, but I truly believe the fault lies with mental health. They failed this soldier, his family, and most of all those who were tragically killed.

I have so much just overwhelming sadness. Sadness that this soldier was not helped like he was so desperately trying to get and what our battalion was trying to get for him. 54th Engineers did NOT fail him. I ache for his wife. We are prepared for a knock on the door telling us our soldier was injured or killed while out on a mission, but you NEVER prepare for something so unimaginable as your husband killing his brothers. You don't expect a man who so many say was "A really nice and great guy" to do something so horrifying. We don't prepare to worry about our soldiers, because of what another soldier might do, because those who are TRAINED to listen to him, those who are SUPPOSED to listen and be there for him, deny him treatment. I can't imagine how his wife must be feeling, but my heart just absolutely aches for her. I'm praying for her. Praying that she knows she has so much support and so many who geniunely care. That there are those of us who are thankful she's here and that the American Press can not get to her like they have his father and son. I'm praying for his parents and son. Again, never the knock on the door you expect, or prepare for.

I'm disgusted with the AP. As usual they go after those who they should be staying far, far away. They make me sick. It disgusts me that they are using such tragedy to go after our battalion, to go after the Army, etc. They are in it for only themselves. They don't care about who they hurt or how they hurt them, as long as they get their headline, their interview.

This is just a ripple effect of hurt and pain and loss. 4 soldiers and 1 in the navy are dead. One Soldier who's life is most likely over. Then there's the families. The wives, children, parents, siblings, etc. This has effected most definately our company and our battalion. (The difference in companies and battalions is this: There is the Battalion that as a whole has companies with in it. So there's HHC company, 541st Company, 370th Company, FSC company. Or old school: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, etc Each soldier belongs to a company, and all those companies belong to the battalion. I hope that makes sense. I'm sure there was a better and simpler way, but eh it's 2 AM.) There are so many effected and will be effected from here on out. Life is precious and Chad and I get that better than most. We don't take life for granted. Honestly it's just one more reason why we homeschool. Life goes by too quickly. Why would I want virtual strangers getting these moments with my children? I am blessed that GOD called us to this walk in life and wonder sometimes if he realizes what he's done, but most days I just praise him! We do not know what tomorrow holds for us, or even if there will be a tomorrow on this earth for us.

Please keep our battalion in your prayers, especially those who were trying to help Sgt. Russell. Most of all keep his wife and family in your prayers. The families of the deceased. And keep Sgt. Russell in your prayers. Our mental health has to take PTSD serious, as does our society. We don't want something like this happening again.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sad Day

As many have already blogged about sweet, precious Kayleigh went home today, officially. I don't know as her parents had wrote about, if she was already with Jesus, my heart says she has been with him for the past few weeks, but today her Mommy and Daddy had to say goodbye. Please be in prayer for them. I have Kayleigh's graphic on the side of my blog, just scroll down and click on her link.

As some of you already know, and many have probably heard about the soldier who killed 5 other soldiers, injured 5 and is in custody, he was stationed out of Germany, well he was from our Battallion, and even more so, he was from our company. Chad knows him. I do not. His wife is here. I ask that you pray for the victims of this sad and awful crime, also please pray for Sgt. John M. Russell's wife and rest of his family. His wife is a little "safer" in the fact that she's here in Germany and doesn't have the awful US media hounding her, but his parents, son, exwife, etc are not so "lucky". They need our prayers. They are effected in ways that many don't think of or consider.

We're 1 1/2 months from the end of this deployment. So very close. Why he did this I don't know. I know how blessed I am, as far as Chad's friend and coworker was the one who was the one who's weapon was used in this awful act. There are details I know, but are not being released pending further investigation. Please will you pray for our company and our battalion as a whole. All of us here, just seem to be in a sort of shock. I just honestly don't know how this could happen, I mean I do, but well I'm trying so hard to not let this turn into a rant towards the Mental Health in the Army, but let me just say this. There are HUGE changes that need to be made. This COULD have been prevented. From what I know, the command did what they needed to do, and from what I know the mental health did NOT. These are not surprises to anyone who's in the military or married to it. We all have known since the beginning of this war that the mental health had a lot to be desired, that soldiers are suffering, that families are suffering. This is simply not ok. This is sad, awful, horrible, disgraceful. It infuriates me. It's personal. My husband is on his 5th deployment, his 3rd to Iraq. I know it gets to him at times. I know it wears him down...emotionally and physically. I know it wears me down doing everything alone with him deployed. It effects our children. The more Daddy is gone, the harder it is. Let me dispurse a's the myth: The more deployments you go through the easier it gets.

HA! Honestly I think our first deployment was the easiest, looking back. Why do I say that? Because you don't know what to expect. You know you're going to miss him, you know it's going to be hard, etc...but it's all the things you don't know that make it easier and harder. After one, you know what you went through last time, what you need and what you want, you see your children hurting .
This must change.

I am cutting this short, I'm ehausted and heading to bed.

God Bless

Monday, May 11, 2009

Let The Voting Begin

Last one I PROMISE! (for tonight that is!)....Amanda has her voting up for her Nominations on Aweome even if you didn't participate in nominations, even if you are not sure you will know any of the blogs, go and take a look and vote if you have an opinion!

There are some truly wonderful bloggers on this list that are not as well known as others, it'd be VERY exciting (imo) to see them win, to draw in more readers, etc.

Amanda....thanks for all the hard work you've done for this. I know your heart is about Praising and Glorifying Jesus in all you do! Love you girl!!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

1. I most certainly did not forget about "Not Me Monday" until about 5 minutes ago, after the fun, but crazy weekend I had. (Yeah for blogger updates and me reading and being reminded, oh wait...NOT being reminded hehe)

2. I did not think how great it was to have a teenager with me this weekend, to use, oh I mean oh who am I kidding, to use and help me with the younger kids. No I'd NEVER do that!

3. I did NOT enjoy being told I was an "awesome cook and you should open a restaurant". Nope that did NOTHING for my ego.

4. I did not think that Friday sucked big rotten eggs, and would not totally skip over May 8 if I could.

5. I did NOT praise GOD for giving me GRACE and allowing me to get through May 8.

6. I did not praise GOD for the joy through tears for Emily this Mother's Day.

7. I surely did NOT tell my husband last night when he called me to wish me a Happy Mother's Day, that when he gets home I will NOT be taking a vacation. I did not actually tell him that his Deployment to IRAQ is indeed a vacation! No, now how could I EVER think being in the middle of a war zone is like a vacation...oh that's right I have 3 kids, 8,5, and 21 months...what AM I thinking? LOL

8. I do not feel totally and completely blessed that our Lord, our Savior has truly blessed me with all 4 of our children and a husband who loves me unconditionally.

9. I surely did not get ticked off at my parents tonight for telling my boys that they could come visit them this summer, when they are indeed NOT going to be visiting them, and did not tell my mom to NOT do that again since Jackson started sobbing when I had to break it to him that we are NOT going to the states this summer. (I'm not still ticked about this)

10. I am not watching paint peal off my ceiling and wet stains cross it, because the contractors who have torn out and are supposed to be redoing the balconies on the fourth floor, obviously do not know how to cover properly and I am not going to have to obviously call housing tomorrow and find out what they are going to do about this issue. (Oh and I do not have paint actually falling ON my floor either).

The End

Come and join if you haven't already. Tell us what you didn't do this past week! :)

My Weekend

This weekend was a good, but busy one! Friday was difficult, although not nearly as awful as Jordyn's birthday was. I truly am praising JESUS for the grace he has given me through these days. Amy asked me if maybe sometime I'd share how Jordyn's death effected Chad and I's marriage. I'm praying over that Amy. I think I will, but need to still pray about it. It's a story of The Good, The Bad, and the oh so Ugly. Some typical and and not so typical grieving from a husband and wife, father and mother.

So Friday I ended up taking the kids and we went to my friend Jen's. She is such a blessing to me. We've known each other since I moved here, well I met her shortly afterwards. She's one of those sweet, full of grace women, yet we never got to know each other that well until the last few months and oh how much I have been blessed by her friendship and her children! She's a mother of 6...7 and under! She loves her children and sees them as a blessing! It breaks my heart to ever hear ugly comments of "doesn't she know how to prevent that" or "have they ever heard of birth control", etc. What's most disheartening is when it comes out of a Fellow Christians mouth. When did our nation stop seeing children as the blessing that GOD tells us children are? He BLESSES us with children:
Deuteronomy 7:13
He will love you and bless you and increase your numbers. He will bless the fruit of your womb, the crops of your land--your grain, new wine and oil--the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks in the land that he swore to your forefathers to give you.

Did you see that? He will bless us and increase our numbers! He will bless the fruit of our wombs! Ladies and gentlmen...children are NOT a curse, they are not a burden...they are a BLESSING.

So, enough of the bible lesson and slight lecture! I was blessed to spend Friday with Jen. I took out 2 of my photo albums of Jordyn and shared them with Jen, who blessed me with her comments on how beautiful and joyful Jordyn looked in all her pictures. You know, she really was too. She was beautiful and filled with joy...from the day she was born! I am truly blessed to have been able to hold her in my arms for those 2 years she was here on this earth. I am blessed to know that she's safe in the arms of Jesus now!

Saturday was a new day and the beginning of a new adventure! My friend Heather and her husband (who's a chaplain) had a retreat down in Garmisch and they wanted (and deserved) a weekend alone. So a few weeks ago Heather asked if I'd be willing to keep their kids D (boy-13) and B (girl-4). I said sure! Heather made sure I knew I could "use" D...go to the store ALONE, send him out to the park with the kids, etc! So at 9:30 Scott and Heather dropped the kids off and a couple hours later, after making a grocery list for the weekend I was off to the commissary, ALONE!!!!!! Wahoo! LOL Let me tell you that going shopping alone is such a treat. It just rarely happens when the husband's off in Iraq serving our country! He took the kids and played outside at the park and in the backyard. It was great!

Sunday/Mother's Day I made us a big breakfast of Biscuits and Gravy. Then off to church. I taught children's church (last time until at LEAST September! wahoo..this Momma and volunteer needs a break!). D and another young woman assisted me. We skipped this weeks lesson and instead I had the kids make Mother's Day cards. So many of the kids, their dad's are deployed and the majority of them had nothing to give to mom, so at least Mom got a hand made card, that as all of us Mom's know, means so much more than any store bought card, ever could!
We had our next to last AWANA meeting, which was also Store night. It was good, and I will admit I'm ready for Awana to be over for the year. It's nice to have a break. We will be having VBS in only a short few weeks, and I will be helping with music (singing and teaching the kids the hand motions and words to the songs, most are new songs, with a couple well known ones!)
Today I took all 5 kids to an indoor pool. It was a lot of fun, but as swimming is, exhausting, especially when you have a 21 month old and a 4 year old wanting YOU to take them down the big slide, over and over again. I took them down aprox 20 times. I was exhausted, my thighs were getting sore, my arms were like spaghetti (carrying Emma up those stairs over and over again), but I can say I definitely got a workout! I ended up making dinner tonight for not only D&B which I hadn't counted on, but D asked me if I would and well when you're being complimented on being a "great cook" (hehe) how could I say no?? So I called Heather, to see when they'd be arriving and since their arrival evened up to when dinner was to be done, I invited them to just stay, eat, and relax for a moment, and then feel no pressure to just go home!
I was complemented on dinner by all (and shockers of all shocks, Jackson had not 2nds, but 3rds on dinner). Now let me explain...he's not always such a fan of the meal I made (which is a stroganoff with's MY all time favorite), so to see him going so crazy over it was pretty amazing! LOL

Since they left I've been relaxing. The kids all got baths/showers, I'm going to go take a shower soon, and then head to bed. Tomorrow will be a down day. I have laundry to do and need to mop my kitchen, and of course the boys have school. It'll be nice to be back to our routine, but it was a good weekend and I'm so blessed that I was able to help my sweet friend out and give them some alone time together, we all need that! I'm looking forward to my own with Chad when he returns!!

Friday, May 08, 2009

Nine Years In Heaven

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe" (Ephesians 1:18,19 NIV).

This was the verse from an online daily devotion I read. Oh what a hearts cry! It's my hearts cry. Oh GOD is so awesome. Nine years ago today, he welcomed my sweet Jordyn Ashleigh back into his arms. How blessed am I know to know that she knows his incomparable power. That she has inherited his riches and desires for her soul!

I miss my little girl. I long to feel her in my arms. To smell her sweet smell. She made me a Momma. She was the first to call me Mommy. I can still remember the first day she said "I love you, Momma". We were standing in our kitchen and I was sitting on the floor with her playing and I told her "I love you, Jordyn" and she looked right at me and said "I love youl, Momma". There has never been any sweeter words said.

To share the day she died, is still just too personal to put here. I am not sure I'll ever be able to blog about it. It was the most precious moment of my life, I can say that. I was there when she came into my life and I was there when she left it. There is nothing more precious in this life, I promise you. Nothing more painful or precious. I praise our LORD that he allowed me to mother Jordyn while she graced this earth and I praise him in knowing that one day, I'll be with her again, in Heaven.

I leave you with my favorite verse, the verse I cling to.

Isaiah 40:11

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

Thursday, May 07, 2009


It's so hard for me to believe I last held you in my arms alive 9 years ago, and then in a brief moment you were safe in Jesus's arms. Oh my sweet Jordyn how I miss you. There are days it seems like you've been gone forever and then there are days where I feel like you were just here.

I love you so much and miss you. I know you're safe, but how I'd love for you to still be with us. I simply can't imagine. I know that one day we'll be together again in Heaven. Sing my sweet Jordyn like you sang here. Oh to think of how beautiful you must sound in Heaven. I loved to listen to you sing, to think of what you must sound like singing to our Lord, oh what a sound that must be!

I'll try to write more tomorrow. I love you forever and baby you'll be.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I came across this over at Bridget's. People please take this seriously, we are living in a time where children are seen as a burden vs the blessing that our Lord (yes people it is IN the BIBLE!) tells us they are. When we make EXCUSES on why we can't obey the Lord and let him have control over this in our life, we're taking away our future and most of all our children's future, literally.

This is one of the most powerful video's I've seen. If it moves you, motivates you, etc embed it in your blog, share it in emails, etc.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It's back. I haven't done this well since Stellan was lets get back to it.

I did not let Emma run around all day today in either her pj's or just her diaper. I surely would have dressed her!

I did NOT just buy more bows for my daughter from

I do not shamelessly plug in hopes that you'll go buy bows and leave my name in as a referral (email me if you need my last name! LOL)

Emma absolutely does NOT have over 60 bows, I mean come on, that's just shameful and positively ridiculous that a little girl who's only 21 months old would have that many bows!

I did not make Jackson work on school work until almost 6 PM, because he would barely sit still today and still only got ONE subject done. Come on, what kind of homeschooling mom would I be if my child only did 1 subject in 5 hours?

I was NOT up until 5 AM Saturday night/Sunday morning because I just could not sleep.

I am NOT obviously still up at 2:55 AM tonight.

I did not feel I had to end a friendship, that is over 12 years old because I do not have the emotional strength for her. I have not cried a great deal of tears, felt anger, frustration, and just deep sadness.

I am not praying this friend will put GOD first, then her children, and then her fiance. (My heart is not heavy writing that, knowing God is not first in her life).

I am not counting down until my husband comes home (59 days and counting...give or take a few!!). I am NOT excited about Chad coming home. I mean seriously he's only been gone for 11 1/2 months, why would I be excited?

I do not, I repeat do NOT get annoyed by women who actually complain to ME about their husband's being gone for a few days or even a couple weeks. I do not want to tell them to "get a grip and be thankful". I do not think that some women are really, really inconsiderate and thoughtless.

I am not hoping it's sunny tomorrow, because I want to take pictures of my kids outside.

I am not also half hoping it rains so we don't have baseball practice tomorrow evening.

I am NOT ready for my husband to be home. Oh did I already write something similar. Oh well, you try having your husband be gone from you for over a year and finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!

I do NOT think there's going to be more than one type of fireworks exploding here on 4th of July! (hehe!!)

So...tell us what you didn't do!

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Awesomest Blogs 2009

My friend Amanda, who's so sweet and wonderful has created another blog to celebrate blogging for all it is, or should be! :)
Do you love a particular blog and want the world to know it, well here's your chance. Now she has certain categories, make sure that you nominate in the correct category, and nominate away. There may be some blogs that fall under more than one category so don't be shy...nominate them in as many as they fall under! Oh and you can nominate yourself and you can even do it an
anonymously (or not!) what ever you're comfortable with!

So go on over to the "Awesomest Blogs 2009"