I'm grouchy and have a horrible headache. Jackson is STILL working on his school work, at 5:30 PM. I'm at the end of my rope with that boy. He's going to bed as soon as he finishes his school work, eats, and takes a shower. OF course at his rate, that'll still be 8:30. I'm just tired of the fight with this child over doing his school work. He's been working on his italic handwriting since 1:00. Ridiculous isn't it? It is! He thinks writing sloppy is ok, and of course we know that handwriting lessons are about learning to write nicely, but he wants to rush through it and it's not going to be acceptable. I don't except a 5 year old to write perfectly, but I DO expect effort! Sadly Jacob has far more school work than Jack and he's been done for over 2 hours now! They're very different and that's fine and wonderful, truly. I have always known that Jack would learn differently than Jacob. This today though is not acceptable. I just am at the end of my rope today.

BTW if you're not a homeschooler, here's a word of advice. When talking with a home school parent, do not say, "Oh I could never homeschool I do not have the patience". Let me tell you a not so big secret...patience is NOT required, sure it's helpful, but it's not part of it. For our family, we were called by GOD to do this and are obeying. Trust me there are days that the thought of sending the kids off to someone else, sounds REALLY appealing, but we wouldn't be obeying and doing what was best for our children. Most days I LOVE homeschooling, today is NOT one of them though. Today I'm annoyed, frustrated, and getting angry. Taking deep breaths right now, big, deep breaths.

Seriously is this deployment NOT over yet? Because I'm done. I'm so done. I'm tired and exhausted and need my husband, my children's father...HOME NOW. We're only a few days from our 1 yr mark, 12 months people. How many of you know what it's like to have your husband gone for this long? If you know, you know it's not easy. You know that from time to time, you just want to blow. That bad moods take over your day, and that you want to blow. Most days are actually good, there are just days like today. I'm worn out. I'm READY for my husband to come home.

I know GOD will sustain me, and I NEED and MUST lean on him right now. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact and promise.