Wednesday, March 31, 2010

We're Moving!!

We got word yesterday that a house had opened up for us! We currently live in an apartment (on post) but next week we'll be moving! On our post it's mostly apartments, then a good amount of townhouses, a few duplexes, and then the brick houses for high ranking officers. The duplexes has always been for those mostly in the rank of Major's, but recently our post made changes and those E-6 and below must stay on post (no more moving off post or if you're new, you have to move on post) now. Well we got a Duplex! Our apartment is the largest on post, but it's an apartment, we have a shared laundry room with 5 other apartments (those on the 4th floor have their own washers and dryers). Our new home will be a full basement, which has a huge laundry room, a middle room which we will be using as a family room (all the game systems will go down there) and another room will be used as a homeschool room/playroom!
The main floor has the masterbedroom, a full bathroom, and a half bathroom (our apartment has ONE bathroom), the living/dining room, and kitchen. The upstairs has 3 bedrooms for the kids and a full bathroom for them, along with a large room that is at the top of the stairs, we're not sure how we'll be using that space yet. We will have a carport and a garage, which also has a storage room on the back of it, and a nice sized, but small backyard, that will be fencing in, which will make life easier with a toddler and a dog to go in and out of. There's a patio out the back as well, so we're now going to be on the look out for someone selling their patio set (summer time is moving time in the military world), and of course our grill!

It all seems to be such an amazing blessing for our family. We won't feel like we're all on top of each other, we will have room to move and breath! When Chad gets home tonight with empty foot lockers and boxes we're going to start packing things up. Everything will be coming down from the walls, knick knacks packed up, nonessentials from the kitchen, and sorting! So far the only negative we have discovered is no linen closets so we'll have to purchase something for our towels and washclothes to go into, for our bathroom and I'm thinking of buying some sort of shelving unit for upstairs for the kids bathroom. There are things will want to get, like night stands for each of the kids rooms, lamps for each of their rooms (the ones we have in the rooms are not in good shape so it's time to find new ones) and we want to get bookshelves for each of the kids rooms (just small ones) because only books will be in their rooms (all toys which we will be sorting through and getting rid of MOST before the move). I want their rooms more for sleeping, reading, and quiet times....NO TOYS!

Once we sign for the keys next week, I'll take the before pictures and hopefully a week or two after we get moved in and get everything set up, I'll take the after photo's.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Happy Birthday Jordyn

My Sweet, Sweet Jordyn would have been 12 years old today. How I love you and miss you.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Accomplishments and dread

I'll start off with the dread part. tomorrow, which here in Germany is in just 10 short minutes will be Jordyn's 12 birthday. If you've never lost a child I am sure it's hard to understand the emotions that go along with grief, and yes even after nearly 10 yrs of Jordyn being in Heaven, I still grieve for her and I believe I will until the day I join her. I can't and won't hide it though. It doesn't take over my life any more like it did the first couple of years after she died. But...there are times when the grief is overwhelming. For example the day she was dx with leukemia, her birthday, and the day she went to Heaven, and often it's the days leading up to those days that are the hardest. In ways it has gotten easier, or no I should say gentler...grief is NEVER, EVER easy and let me also state there is NO TIME LINE for grief, especially when you're talking about your child. As human's we're wired to expect to bury our parents at some point in our life, sometimes it happens years before we ever expect it, but we still expect that. We even have a part of us that expects there's a 50/50 chance we'll bury our spouse, sibling(s), grandparents, etc....but you NEVER expect to bury your child. A child dying is the most unnatural event for a parent and the most painful. I'm sure there are people who think I should just be "over it" as far as Jordyn's life and death, I can guarentee you that they never lost a child. Anyways...I dread the clock clicking over in 2 minutes, although I don't think it'll feel quite so harsh until morning. So just say a prayer for me if you would.

Accomplishments..well as I've complained enough about, how I've been sick various times through this pregnancy (which has been not related to the pregnancy related), today I finally said ENOUGH! I got up off the couch and started cleaning. We have a dog, Bentley, he's a cocker spaniel. I should state I'm not a huge dog lover. He annoys  me more than anything most days. I DO NOT consider him a "furry child" and I'm not a person that will ever consider an animal my child. Anyways, do you know how much this dog sheds? I do....I filled a half a grocery bag/sack with dog hair I'd guess. It was insane. (the kids and chad have been doing most the cleaning lately so I  knew it wasn't getting done like i want it, but good grief!) he is losing his winter coat since it's warming up so I do take that into account and informed Chad and the boys that he has to be brushed every single day to prevent all this darn dog hair floating around here! I swept and mopped the living room and dining room. All that needs to be done in here is put away the clean laundry and clean off the table completely. Tomorrow the goal is the kitchen and bathroom. I want and need my home to get a good deep cleaning. I'm hoping not this weekend, but next weekend that Chad will put out the stove and the fridge and we can clean behind and around those two huge pieces. I guess maybe some nesting is hitting me! :) I'm 30 weeks now, so just a few more weeks left.  I'm amazed at how fast this pregnancy has went by.
Chad and I also have a goal on Saturday if he's home to tackle the boys room. Their room is a WRECK, I mean you can't walk in their room anywhere and not step on oh 20 things. They have a lot of toys in there that they've outgrown or simply don't play with any more, and I need to go through their clothing, mostly Jackson's, because when Jacob outgrows his, Jack inherits them. I don't know if we'll get everything tackled in there on Saturday, but we are hoping to make a good dent.

I will say it feels good to have these goals right now. I've not honestly felt good enough in nearly 3 months to even care to set them, so to feel good enough and actually to have accomplished something today felt so good and it was nice to have Chad come home and notice!! :)

Friday, March 26, 2010

Thirteen years and many more to go.....

Thirteen years ago, I married the man of my dreams. We have been through more than most in our life together, we've watched our oldest child get dx with AML leukemia, watched her fight that evil disease for 14 months. We watched as the leukemia ravaged her body and then as GOD mercifully took her home to Heaven. We shockingly brought in our 2nd child in the first year of grief, and in just a couple months will welcome our 5th child. We've moved from Kansas to Germany to Virginia to Kansas and back to Germany. We've been through 5 deployments, 3 of them being Iraq, our longest for 14 months. We've spent more anniversary's apart than together, most of all we've grown in Christ together.

God blessed me with a husband who's far more patient than I am. Who's more forgiving, easy going, laughs easily, and adores me far more than I deserve to be, and most of all he LOVES me with all he has. I am so very blessed.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

11 years ago

There are days the pain just overwhelms me. Today is one of them. I love living in Germany, but it's such a bitter sweet place for us to live. 11 years ago today, pretty well to the minute we got the devestating news that our sweet, beautiful, precious Jordyn had leukemia and ultimately 14 months later was in the arms of Jesus. This day is also a bittersweet day in itself. Jordyn was due this day 12 years ago and then 1  year later we were ultimately given her death sentence. 

I want to praise Jesus, I know I should, I just hurt right now. I am not asking for her back, I'd never want her to leave Heaven for this place. I just miss her, my arms ache for her. I could have 100 more babies and they'd never replace her, they'd never be her. My arms will always ache for her. It just seems unreal sometimes. I mean other people's children have cancer, other people have the hospital start to feel more like home than your actual  home, other people's child dies, not mine. Yet it was my child, my beautiful little girl.
You know sadly I don't even know how to end this, other than this is it. My heart is heavy tonight.

I heard this tonight and thought it was HERE

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Politics and Our Christian Walk and Duty

I know not everyone is as well, engrossed in politics as I am, but after reading a few blogs today I'm completely saddened as I read not once, not twice, but 5 different Christian bloggers admit they do not follow politics at all and that they "really don't know anything or much about this Health Care bill"....people this is OUR Country and it's not only our RIGHT, but our DUTY to not only keep up with politics, but to keep people in or out of offices and make them ACCOUNTABLE for their votes. This effects us. Politics EFFECTS us, every single day. We ELECT these people to REPRESENT us. They are not placed in these positions to do THEIR will, but to do OUR WILL. IF "WE" as Citizens and as Christians are not keeping them accountable, well this is what happens. They've been left to do as they please for far too long and we're now facing a vote that if passed WILL Change our NATION. IF you don't know, part of this bill will hire MORE IRS Agents and THEIR JOB will be to keep track that EVERY SINGLE CITIZEN has a form of health insurance and if they do not they will take it from their wages. The IRS will have private information that up until they have not had any legal allowances to have, but IF this bill is passed they'll have it. They will ultimately be the new "Healthcare Dictators" in making sure people have what THEY deem to be "proper" Health Care.

If anyone thinks this bill is good, I'm sorry but in my opinion you're crazy. The Government can't manage anything they're over the way it is. The National Debt is the highest it's ever been and now they want to add on OVER 2 TRILLION dollars of debt that our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren will be paying for. We are as  a nation on our way to Socialism. Today a now former FB friend said she'd done some research (sorry but I roll my eyes at this) on Socialism and Communism and neither were nearly as horrible as she remembered learning growing up. Ignorance and Arrogance go hand in hand and when we as people have become so ignorant that socialism and communism do not seem that bad I honestly feel like my head is going to EXPLODE. Our Constitution is being trampled and so many people simply do not care and are not interested. Our lives are about to change ladies and gentlemen and not in a good way if this bill passes.

Saturday, March 20, 2010


I saw this on another blog tonight, I'd read it before and decided I wanted to share it. It's such a reminder of all that has happened in our nation that's not good, that makes my own heart ache. Oh how I'd love for simpler days, days where imo things were in a much better perspective. We are not better off today. Most are overscheduled, many do not have a personal relationship with Christ, does not believe in true Democracy (and capitalism), thinks that political correctness and accepting anything and all is what we should be, because all things should be tolerated. They've thrown out morals and values that GOD has told us to live by and instead have listened to Satan...our Nation IS getting what it asked for, when we threw GOD out of school and out of our personal lives and threw him out of our Government (don't think he wasn't the Constitution and Bill of Rights and you'll see he IS supposed to be in our Government). We now think it's more important for women to not be "burdened" with pregnancy and murder our future....oh how wrong we have become. Take a read

How Old Is Grandpa?

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.

The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The Grandfather replied, 'Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

' color television

' penicillin

' polio shots

' frozen foods

' Xerox

' contact lenses

' Frisbees and

' the pill

There were no:

' credit cards

' laser beams or

' ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

' pantyhose

' air conditioners

' dishwashers

' clothes dryers

' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and

' man hadn't yet walked on the moon

Your Grandmother and I got married first, and then lived together..

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, 'Sir'.

And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.'

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios..

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, .. .. but who could afford one?

Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

' 'grass' was mowed,

' 'coke' was a cold drink,

' 'pot' was something your mother cooked in and

' 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby.

' 'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office,

' ' chip' meant a piece of wood,

' 'hardware' was found in a hardware store and

' 'software' wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.

No wonder people call us 'old and confused' and say there is a generation gap . . and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old person in are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.

Are you ready ?

This person would be only 59 years old.

Friday, March 19, 2010


Friday nights are Hospitalty House nights for us. The House as those who attend or have attended call it, is a missionary outreach to the local military community, all are welcome be it civilians, host nationals, and military singles, married, and families. Childcare is available. We have dinner (every week there's a different theme, so going off that theme we make our choose of food and someone signs up and brings dessert). The kids are fed before going to the House and then once there the kids go to childcare while we eat, then clean up, then start fellowship, prayer time, and bible study, and finish with dessert (the kids are brought up during dessert). Well tonight as we were starting dessert the couple who run the house, their oldest daughter came upstairs laughing and said Emma was being silly. The daughter, "M" lost her tooth while downstairs (she's 12 yrs old) and Emma freaked out for some reason and got it in her head that she'd lose a tooth if her diaper was changed. Chad had to go down there and change her diaper and he said she was SCREAMING her head off, determined her tooth would fall out! LOL She is going through a scared phase right now. Be it monsters (which no one here talks about, the boys are not allowed to even watch Monsters Inc.), the stairwell in our apartment building, etc. (The stairs is the biggest and most constant "fear"). I will admit I don't have a lot of patience for the fears. I hold her hand, but make her walk down the stairs (or Daddy or one of the long as someone is holding her hand she's fine and she only gets scared on the landings, not the actual stairs!).

I will say though that as trivial as these fears seem to me, I know they're real for her. Just as I am concerned over the possibility of this new (and HORRIBLE) Healthcare aka Obamacare being passed and signed into law, ultimately we have to give it to GOD. I'm praying that GOD will have mercy for our nation. We don't deserve it. As a whole our nation has turned its back on our LORD. It's revolted against all things moral and of value in the Lord. We instead cling to being all inclusive, politically correct, and accepting of all behaviors, etc. I pray for Mercy. I pray that the Lord will give us mercy that we do not deserve, as we have done nothing to deserve his Mercy, but I encourage you ALL to pray for it for our Nation. Pray for those who are fighting against this horrid healthcare bill and all that it entails. In case you don't know, the IRS will also be involved, they'll be hiring new agents to make sure EVERYONE has healthcare. This will cost at LEAST 2.5 TRILLIONS dollars. Socialized and Universal Healthcare are NOT a good thing. They will lower the quality of our health care, the waiting will double to triple, and if you think it's going to be "Free" you're WRONG. Pray you don't end up seriously sick (cancer, heart issues, etc) because it will NOT be your drs deciding if you need or qualify for treatment, it will be the GOVERNMENT. You know the US Government, the one that's led us into a financial disaster, among other lovely things. We all know how trusted the IRS is.

Let us pray and seek GOD's wisdom and most of all his MERCY. Pray this bill does NOT pass. If you love our Nation. If you believe in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, you need to be calling your Congressman and Senators. Also if you are any where close to Washington, DC tomorrow (Saturday March 20)....please show up and let them know you do NOT want this bill to go through. WE have rights, right now. Don't let them strip them away, because this is only the beginning.

Take a look

I want to urge each of you to please go and read fellow blogger, Beth's post, it's the "Fearless Friday-prayers needed" post written today Friday, March 19, 2010. If you are a believer, if you're an American, if you care about our nation and want to Honor our Lord and hold the Bible as the One, Real Living Word of her post.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Finally Answers

I honestly thought the ENT wouldn't find anything, and it'd be a virus and I'd have to wait until the baby was born to feel better. Well I do have to wait until the baby is born to feel good again, but not because of a virus. He found I have severe Reflux for one and I also have a cyst on the back of my tongue which is hitting my lyrnx and causing my hoarseness. The cyst will have to come out, but not until after the baby is born. He wants to see me in 4 weeks to check on the cyst and making sure it's not growing, but if I have any issue's before then I'll go see him. I am thankful I now have answers, and although there's not an immediate fix for it, to know in probably about 3 months this will hopefully be a thing of the past, that's a true relief.

To top off this day, it's in the mid 50's today AND the sun is shining!!!!!!! The beautiful, beautiful sun! The boys are done with school and outside playing now and once Emma's up from her nap we'll all be heading out there to enjoy this beautiful day. The kids have already had some outdoor playtime today, since there was a park behind the drs office and Chad took them out there while they waited on me (we didn't know how I'd feel after the scope, oh which I didn't mention wasn't bad at all, went up through my nose so all that happened was my eyes watering! My nose is still a bit numb, but the numbness in  my mouth and throat and teeth are gone!! )

I do have to admit I was REALLY nervous over that scope, but I'm so glad my nerves were far worse than reality. I'm so thankful for all who have been praying for me. I KNOW there are sooo many far worse things and I really honestly have kept that as my perspective. I am glad to know what's going on with my body. I'm so very blessed that I have so many friends and family who love me and care about me and are willing to pray for me.

Have a blessed day!

Monday, March 15, 2010

A Little Meme

I came across this little Meme and thought I'd join in on the fun! : ) I found it HERE. I am only a first time visitor to that blog so I actually know nothing about it, will be reading her more in a few!

The questions..

1. What's your favorite Easter candy? Hallowed Chocolate bunny's and Starburst Jelly beans (only starburst)

2. Who do you think is or women? I don't know, I've met probably just as many men who are clean fanatics as women, I'd say it's pretty even. (BTW really STRANGE question)

3. Which do you prefer..wordy blog posts or ones with pictures? Both and preferably blogs that have both all in one!

4. Were you popular in highschool? Actually I was pretty popular, not Homecoming Queen popular, but was friends with pretty well everyone and a couple years ago was told by a really good friend in High school she always thought it was awesome who I flowed so evenly between being popular and yet sincerely friends with the "nonpopular" (her words not mine). I was athletic, good student, in the band, in our select choir group, etc

5. What's your bra size? yeah, not answering that!

6. How many states have you lived in? I've lived in 7 states (Kansas is home and not only was I born and for the most part raised there (from half way through Kindergarten up....) and being an Army wife! Oh and we've been stationed here in Germany twice (and in two different posts as well)

7. What's one blog you read every day? I'm not sure I read one blog every single day, but the one I read the most frequently would most like be Amanda of I Am Mommy.

8. Peanut butter or Nutella? Peanut Butter and preferably kids would say Nutella

Oh music not always so sweet

I may have just lost my mind officially and my husband AND daughter are all to blame! Emma has her little xylophone and is hitting it as hard as possible and singing at the top of her sweet little lungs. Let me say that what she has done to "Jesus Loves Me" makes run to the bathroom and check to see if my ears are bleeding! LOL Oh praise JESUS she just stopped. Chad was encouraging her and telling her "louder, louder"...there's something evil in him I tell you. Oh no it's started up again. Is there a 12 step program for this? LOL All joking aside it brings my heart so much joy to see my child so completely open to just sing her sweet little heart out, pound away, and know she'll be praised and loved.

Speaking of's a couple of pictures of her over the last couple of weeks, they have not been edited at all (one of these days I'll get busy on learning PSP)....

at the park on one of the VERY few warmer days
we had a couple weeks ago.

My sweet happy girl gigging

I know this is all short and ending sweet (just look at that face up there!!) but it's family time! :) I'll write more later.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

My little update

I did a little update on my blog some things are obviously noticable...such as the background change (the old one was for winter and well this girl is ready for some spring). I also went through my various links and deleted ones that no longer work, blogs I no longer read, etc.
So that was the last 20 minutes of my time! :)

Today Chad woke me up at 10:30 (yep this girl can sleep in, I may struggle getting to sleep, but once there oh sleep is beautiful!). He woke me up (although normally he'd let me sleep until I actually got up on my own) because a friend of ours called to say we should get to what's more or less called the "Kindergarten Bazaar" Ultimately it's an indoor garage sale/flea market but only children's items being sold and only good quality! Last year before I was even pregnant this same friend had told me she'd found a great stroller at this sale, and knew the lady who owned it, but it was after the fact. She kept forgetting to ask her if she still had the stroller and I figured that if I was meant to have it, GOD would provide a way for me to get it. That time came this morning! If you know anything about German strollers you know they are in one word...AMAZING! I'm sorry but I've yet to see any American strollers that are as wonderful as German ones. For one German's USE their strollers so much more than American's. They walk so much more, these strollers are truly so durable, and comfortable for the child, and common sense has been placed when making them. They're made for various heights, most strollers handles are adjustable, and just so much. I can't even think of the brand the stroller is that we bought today (sad I know!) but it's about a $300-400.00 stroller when brand new (and converted over from Euro), with everything that came with it! So what came with it you ask that makes it so wonderful? Well besides it being practically brand new (they only used it for 1 child), it has this "thing" in it (sorry again I'm blank on the name, but most of you speak English so the German name wouldn't mean anything to you anyways! LOL) it's more or less like a bassinet that fits in the stroller, you can lift it out with the baby in it, if you get home and baby is sleeping and you don't want to chance waking. It comes with this great piece that reminds me of a sleep sack (best way I know how to describe it in English) to keep the baby warm while in the stroller (they make these for toddlers as well who are still in strollers, we have one for Emma). It came with all the various weather gear (rain cover, etc), AND it came with this cool seat that I've actually never seen before (the previous owners ordered it special for their older son to sit in), it attaches to the front of the stroller (so they'd be sitting ultimately over the babies feet), it's a little seat that actually reminds me of the booster/high chair seats that you can hook to the table. Did I mention it's pretty well in brand new condition? Oh and the wheels are awesome, the front swivel which is always nice, but you can also push a foot lever so that the back will swivel as well, and it has it so they can go straight, swivel just a little, or swivel even more! I am totally loving this stroller! I will take pictures of it tomorrow and share!! :) The boys each bought themselves a bionicle a piece, and we found Emma 2 cute sweaters for everyday wear and we found her a beautiful sweater that she'll be wearing with her Easter Dress, a pair of cute little shoes, a pair of pants, a cute shirt that Daddy didn't pay attention and see that it's a little big (as in size 5 lol...but it is cute), and a cute little crochetted hat.

Then....after we were done we went out to eat to Chinese. It was very good (so close to American Chinese, if only they'd figure out how to make Crab Ragoon), but I doubt I'll be eating anymore during this pregnancy because it really, really messed with my blood sugar. I felt horrible afterwards and told Chad this was going to be the last for me for the next couple of months. Yes you read that right...2 more months. Yesterday I hit 28 weeks! I'm officially in my 3rd trimester now. This pregnancy is just FLYING by. I'm now going to my ob every 2 weeks. I will also be seeing a specialist for Gestational Diabetes. I'm not positive if I have full blown or not. I did this with Emma as well, and just saw him 3 times, after making some very minor adjustments and being diligent on staying on top of testing myself I got an all clear from the specialist. I know that this pregnancy the last couple of weeks I've been feeling off and know that it's my blood sugar. I did get a new machine to test my blood sugar on Friday at our clinic, so I plan to go into the specialist with my readings starting tomorrow. I go see him on the 22nd, and am praying that as I'm aware of what my sugar levels are and I continue making the needed adjustments with my diet all will be controllabe and no need for shots of insulin.

I'm off, my Wildcats are playing (Kansas State!)'s the Big 12 Championship and we're playing our rivals...KU (University of Kansas). It's a good game and we're hungry for this if you hear some screaming, hootin', and hollarin'...that's just me! ;)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Going to get some Answers!!!!!!!!!!

So I went in to our clinic today and found out the referral for the ENT to have a scope down was approved. I'm anything but thrilled about having a scope stuck down my throat, but it will give us an answer to find out what exactly is going on it just a virus or something more, that will happen next Thursday. If you've had it done is there anything I should be prepared for? I do gag easily and know they are supposed to give a nasal spray to numb which should help if not prevent that from happening. What about afterwards? Will my throat be a little sore (or more) from having a foreign object pushed down my throat? I don't have fear just more I want to have as much knowledge as I can and asking people who've been through it before is one great way of getting information. So thank you in advance!! :) Next week is going to be busy for us. Jacob has his dental cleaning next Tuesday and I have my ob apt next Tuesday as well, Chad will take Jacob and the other two kids to the dentist since my apt is 30 minutes after Jacob's! Wednesday is PWOC, Thursday is the Scope, Friday is German class for the kids and I amd homeschool PE after that.

Oh and did I mention it's snowing here again??? That's right, middle of March and we're getting more snow. It's supposed to be a mix of snow and rain from today through next Friday (as of the forecast today!) I have decided I will not feel "safe" from the snow until May. Crazy German weather!! :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

to the drs I did go

Well I went to the drs this afternoon (after waking up with a nasty stomach bug, of course is there any such thing as a nice one???). The nurse who happens to be a friend tried to take my temp orally and I couldn't do it, I kept gagging...I LOVE ear themometers. The dr came in and she tried to look down my throat but I kept gagging. Since she couldn't see anything she could not make a determination on what's going on with my throat. So she put in a referral for me to see the ENT and have a scope down my throat and let them see what's going on for sure. She said what she THINKS it is, she believes I do have a virus and that before I can get over one virus I get another one. Of course our post has changed how referrals are done, if it's classified as routine it has to go before the medical board of our little clinic and approved or not, which happens at the end of each day. So, tomorrow I will find out if it was approved. She said she was not sure if they would approve it since I'm pregnant (she said that she believes that'd be the only thing to hold them back from doing it since I've been battling this for 2 months now). She did say too that if it IS a virus that it does of course just have to run its course and said that it may be another 2 months (until the baby is born and it actually warms up here). She did say that in her opinion that's the worst case scenerio, but at least that'd give us a time line of what I'm dealing with. So I guess it's again a wait and see...see if the scope is approved, see if it is a virus or something else, and well finish this pregnancy out.

Oddly enough although I've been sick in some way since Christmas Eve, the pregnancy itself has been so easy and has gone very well, and I give all the praise to JESUS. I recognize that I could be fighting all this junk and be extremely sick via pregnancy as well so I'm extremely thankful that for the most part it's just a fair amount of discomfort and quite a bit of annoyance.

Chad and I are going to sit down too and talk about the boys school. Because I've felt so cruddy, I really feel like I've been falling down with the boys and their school work and getting just the min. done so that I can then lay down and rest. That's not fair to my boys and I want so much more, so Chad's going to have to help with their schooling more than ever and make sure all is being completed. We've not done history or science in so long it's not even funny. I LOVE history so it's really a shame, and well I don't enjoy science, but the boys love it. So with him stepping up and helping more our boys will get the education they need and deserve and will honestly take this guilt from me that I'm failing our children.

I'm off to rest some more, the stomach's churning again....soup's on the menu for me and Chad's making pizza for the kids and himself.

God Bless

Monday, March 08, 2010

It's going by

I had to go to our health clinic today to get the drs stamp on some paperwork and discovered that our clinic now stays open during lunch (not sure how long they have been doing this, but it was a nice new discovering). While waiting on my paperwork I decided to see if they could squeeze me in this week for an apt since I've once again lost my voice and this has been going on for 2 months now. Thankfully I got an apt for Wednesday afternoon with the dr I really like, who listens to you, and actually talks back and shares what she thinks, what her treatment is, etc and more than that as she's putting things into the computer she will sit there and tell you what she's typing. I'm very, very thankful I get to see her and hopefully I'll get an actual answer vs what I got with the last dr..."drink hot tea with lemon and honey, don't talk, don't sing, and rest as much as possible" sounds great, but it's not been very realistic. I've been drinking the tea, trying to rest, and trying to rest my voice as much as possible....but just when I think I'm about to go normal with my voice...BAM I lose it. I was actually feeling so good on Sunday I was singing a little, not all the songs, just a few lines here and there and there it went...gone. I looked at Chad and said "I'm losing my voice again". I do have a little bit of pain, but it's also very cold here (our high was 27 and we have a fair amount of snow on the ground!!) so I think the cold has more to do with the soreness than the loss of voice).

On other fronts ;) I was looking at pictures on my facebook tonight of the kids, and looking at Emma and how fast she's grown and amazing how her face slimmed down from that baby fat to slimness of the beginning of toddlerhood in just 1 month. I think she's the most beautiful girl ever, with the most stunning eyes ever to exist. She just has grown so quickly. You can have full blown little conversations with her. To look at both boys in those pictures, they've grown so much in the last 2 years as well. Time is going by so quickly. Oh so quickly. Tomorrow my goal is to just enjoy my kids. We're going to have a fun day, no structured school work...arts and crafts, sitting and talking, just enjoying them, loving them, and reminding them and myself how precious and important they are to me.

I challenge each of you to pick a day this week to spend the day with your kids...focused completely on them.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Oh those little reminders

Today at church we had something special. We go to the chapel on post so there are 4 different services held at the Chapel. The Catholic service starts off the morning at our chapel, with the Protestant service (the one we attend) at 11 AM (we have came up with the nickname...The 11th Hour), then the COGIC service and at 3 PM, Free Gospel. Every Sunday we have AWANA I pick up the kids who go to Free Gospel that want to attend AWANA (normally between 5-10 kids). We're a very small post so we know many from each service. Today the chaplains decided to mix things up a bit and asked the Free Gospel Choir to come and sing during our offering time and their pastor to preach and preach he did!! It was truly a wonderful service. One of the things Pastor Bradley said that really stuck with me was: "Sin will make you tired, but GOD will give you strength". What a great reminder as well as conviction to the heart. Such a blessed reminder that no matter how tired I get, no matter how exhausted I am, precious father, my Savior....HE WILL give us strength...whether it's emotional strength or physical strength, he'll give it.

How blessed are we that we have a Savior who will give us exactly what we NEED.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Something to think about, pray about

Yes I know I most likely have readers who are going to disagree with this article, but if you do I'd urge you to pray and open up your bible and search your heart as to WHY you're reading this series and how you are finding it worthy in your walk with Christ? Is this something you'd read if Christ was sitting right there beside you in the flesh? If your answer is no, then why are you reading it??? This really to me speaks volumes for more than just this particular series and even the subject. It goes for tv programs, other movies, music, etc. If were not willing to do it if we were looking Jesus in the eyes, then we shouldn't be doing it just because we can't see him the flesh...because HE IS there, he see's what were doing. I am not saying I don't fall into this trap in certain area's, but its something I'm working desperately hard on (one of the many things I'm working hard on when it comes to my walk and all those road blocks that Satan throws up in my walk with our Lord...Satan sure is a sneaky one).

We have to guard our hearts and treat them so tenderly and carefully. This also includes our families. What we're allowing them to be exposed to from tv, movies, music, print, video games, etc. Our children see everything we're doing, reading, etc if we're not setting the example ourselves as well as setting the limits on what they're exposed to we're not encouraging their walk with the Lord, but hindering it. It's a definite process and we'll fall on our faces over and over (oh yes I'm most definitely talking about myself here). Even those things that seem like they're "innocent" such as certain Disney Movies, can be some of the biggest road blocks by Satan our children are dealing with in their young lives. (Such as the new movie, The Princess and the Frog...not a movie I'll ever allow my children to watch...voodoo is witch craft and will not be something my children are exposed to as long as I have anything to say about it, no matter how "cute" it is!)

Friday, March 05, 2010

Cry Out To Jesus

Tonight at the Hospitality House we were discussing Revelations 2 and 3. I have wanted for a long time to have a study on Revelations and although I'm not sure if we'll be going any farther, I do hope so. One part of the study really got me to thinking about the US and ultimately the world and the economy and how this is all part of GOD's plan, yet how so many don't see that he's blessing us in ways we can't understand or grasp until we read his word.

Our nation has been blessed over and over and over pretty well since it's existance came to be as the USA. I think because of all those blessings we've become rather spoiled and blinded. We're one of the richest people on earth. Most have at least one vehicle and so many have 2. Most have computers and internet, food in the kitchen, lights in their home, heat and air to keep us comfortable (or at least fans), we have a HOME be it a house, condo, apartment, or mobile home. We have so many comforts that a great majority of the world does not. Through all these blessings many are facing what they see as hardships. Many are not understanding why this is happening to them as individuals and/or as a nation. Now I want to say right here and right now, I could be VERY wrong on this...but here's my thoughts. GOD is trying to get our ATTENTION. That he's allowing this to happen for a purpose and that purpose is HIS GLORY. He wants us to come to us. I think so many American Christians have become Lukewarm...the LORD HATES that. He'd prefer us to be hot or even cold over lukewarm. We are to seek him and praise him in all things. How many praise him when things are good? Now how many praise him when things are tough, hard, or out and out bad? I struggle with that too, but it's still something I need to do and try to do. He wants us to come to him and ask him for MERCY. For his kindness, his love, his forgiveness. Why are we so stubborn? So selfish? So unwilling to allow GOD to work in our lives in ALL ways and all things? Why can't we see what GOD wants the most for us? He WANTS to give us mercy, to forgive us, to just love us. He wants to carry us during our storms and let his glory SHINE as those clouds start to part. He is the one after all that parts those clouds. Nothing we do will EVER be good. We can do all the goodworks in the world, but unless we're doing them for Christ, they're fruitless/pointless.

My heart is just screaming (at myself first off) for each of you to seek him, turn to him, beg him for the mercy you don't (I DON'T!!) deserve. When we say "why me" or "why so and so" well....why not me/why not so and so. We deserve nothing good, except that Christ died for us so we could have his Mercy, Forgiveness, and Love. I'm dropping to my knee's and begging for mercy and forgiveness tonight. I pray you'll join me in asking for mercy and forgiveness.

tick tock

Seriously I just keep getting sick this pregnancy, and not even pregnancy related sickness (that'd be FAR LESS annoying!). It started on Christmas eve (a nasty stomach virus which lasted a few days) started feeling better, then ended up with what turned out to be a virus in my throat and I STILL have it, and now I have a cold and of course each of the kids have been sick a FEW times between then and now and Chad as well (his was just one day). I actually love winter, but well I'm started to feel a little "over it" now, mostly because I just want to be HEALTHY. I have a cold on top of everything, coughing to the point that 3 of my friends yesterday told me (over the phone...which they're all 3 LUCKY they're all in the states so I couldn't choke that I sounded like a 40 yr smoker (if you know anything about me it's that I HATE smoking with a PASSION) so it's pretty one the biggest insult. (I did joke that I sounded like my mother, seriously this is what she sounds like because she has smoked for over 30 years...but I won't go off on that today). The coughing is from deep down, sore throat that was so raw I could taste the blood in the back of my throat, and stuffy head. Yesterday I was a total bum and barely moved from the couch, other than to go to the bathroom multiple times a day...coughing and pregnancy do not go well together, or sneezing.

I know...whine, whine, whine, whine, whine. Sorry I am just tired of feeling so gross, it's been over 2 months and I REALLY do want to just feel GOOD, and to have my normal voice back would be awesome, and be able to sing would be an awesome blessing because it's that thing that just makes me feel like me. I LOVE to sing and not bragging, but it's a gift that GOD has blessed me with, so not being able to use this gift just sucks. It's truly extremely difficult for me to stand and just listen or mouth the words during Chapel, PWOC, and Hospitality House. I'm going to really baby my voice this weekend and talk as little as possible, drink lots of hot tea with honey and lemon and hopefully I can get rid of this junk once and for all.

I keep reminding myself that GOD is trying to teach me something through all of this gross nastiness, I'm really not sure what, but I KNOW he it's time to get on my knee's and ask him to make his teaching for me clear so maybe I can GET it and we can move on to him teaching me something else!! :)

It's time to head to the Hospitality's Mexican Night!! YUMMO!

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

A Request for a Friend

I need your help. I have a friend who's looking for a book (or books) that can help her minister to someone she loves deeply. This person feels that GOD does not love them, and of course my sweet friend knows he's love by our Lord. So help me out please. I don't want to go into too many details, but suffice it to say hard childhood, adulthood challenges, someone that you are supposed to be able to love and trust because of who they are in your life and the fact that they're in the ministry and did the exact opposite. This is an ADULT, which is important, and this person needs to know how loved they are by GOD and that GOD has not and will never turn their back on them. I know these books are out there, but I'm honestly drawing a blank right now. (Christian based obviously)

Thank you (just leave your suggestion in the comments section and if you will ask others if you don't have a suggestion and ask them to send me the name of the book and author that'd truly be appreciated!)

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Prayers and Ob apt

For my long time readers you will remember my dear, dear Heather, for my new readers let me give a quickly summerization. Heather is a dear friend of mine, she moved back to the states in December (much to my protest and tears). Her husband's an Army chaplain and I love their whole family (Emma called her hubby "Daddy Scott" when Chad was deployed, because we spent so much time together), her son watched the kids for me often, and we all love their daughter.

Two years ago this month, Heather died. She's alive now, but we'd lost her for a few moments and praise GOD he allowed her to come back with the help of modern medicine. Heather had been sick (not big or anything, but a cold and just feeling yuck and then add on the stresses of an upcoming deployment she wasn't taking care of herself like she needed). Tuesday she had lunch with a friend and that's the last she remembers (to this day). That night around 9 ish she told her son to call another of our friends that she needed to go to the hospital. He called,s he came and took her and the kids went across the hall to her neighbor and another of our friends. Heather's blood sugar was over 800, the drs told our friend that she was stable and she could go ahead and leave and come back in the morning and they'd be releasing Heather. That did not happen, soon after she left they lost Heather, she then went into a coma and remained in a coma for the next 4 weeks. The Army was AWESOME and got Scott home by Thursday. It was a long and scary many weeks. After she woke up she had a few months of inhouse rehabilitation. Today you'd hardly know she ever had such a life changing event happen to her, the scar on her neck and the slightest of a limp which honestly I can't even hardly recall her having when they left Germany! Heather's parents came quickly ( the Friday after she got sick) and her inlaws came over for a few weeks as well.)

Heather was very close to her Mom, they talked on the phone pretty well every day. This past Friday Heather asked us to pray for her Mom, she'd been hospitalized because of breathing issue's, which was not good since she was already on oxygen 24 hours a day. Saturday morning they got the devestating news that she had leukemia, that afternoon she went home to Jesus. The funeral is today, well it actually should be starting right now, so I ask that you pray for my dear friend Heather, her family, her Daddy, her brother and his family. I did talk to her last night and so thankful that we got to hear each others voices. I just love her so much and to think of her heart hurting in any way.

For good news I had my latest ob apt. it was glucose test day, which in Germany is a 2 hour test. The first blood draw was a little high and after the first hour was very high, the 3rd blood draw was normal. I will be going and seeing the specialist. I had this with Emma, it was never full blown gestational diabetes, considered borderline and I controlled it with diet and took my blood sugars various times a day which I'm going to guess will be the same thing this time. I have really been trying to be very careful this time over all, but last night for sure was a higher starch night for dinner and I was prepared and told my dr that last nights dinner wasn't the best. So although not the greatest news there, it wasn't horrible and it should be controlable. I saw the baby (every apt we get an ultrasound here in Germany). My ob knows what we're having, but we've decided for the first time ever not to find out!! I got a great profile picture of the baby. I am now to the point of going every 2 weeks now, I can't believe I'm at that point already! This pregnancy is flying by, in just 11 weeks we should be meeting our newest member of the family, it's nothing short of a miracle and such the glory of GOD and his love for us!!!

Thank you for the prayers for my sweet Heather and her family....I pray you each have a good day.