Thursday, December 06, 2012

The Days are Dwindling

The days just keep dropping faster and faster. We got all packed out, the van leaves tomorrow, we have our last night at the Hospitality House tomorrow night, so many lasts. We have friends up who were stationed here a few years ago and are now stationed down in Italy, we are going to find a way to fit them in to at least say hi tomorrow.
Saturday and Sunday will be days full of cleaning and scrubbing...I know fun times,  you can all be honest in your envy! ;) My stomach just is a constant state of butterflies. I honestly am still just so saddened that our time in Germany is coming to an end, truly coming to an end. We've been here so long that I guess in some insane way I just thought we'd stay here until our post closed. I'm trusting the Lord, trusting that he has great things in store for us that we can not even imagine.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Day 14 of being thankful

I remembered to actually post this on here. 

Day 14 of thankfulness: I'm thankful for  PWOC. When we moved here in 2005, there were fliers EVERYWHERE and I do mean everywhere...stairwells, CAC, Post office, all over the place to go to the PWOC Kickoff, which was celebrating 50 Years of PWOC. The kickoff was at the CAC and the women were hysterical. I knew no one, but met Linda as we walked from the chapel (dropping

 our kids off at childcare) to the CAC and had my first friend.
I had no idea that this group of women that has been ever changing, would have such a dramatic effect on my life. I have met some of my best friends through PWOC, had the most amazing support through 3 deployments, 3 babies, etc.  PWOC will always have a special place in my heart, since it's where I've grown the most as a Christian, as a woman, a wife, a mother, friend, and a human in general. To each of you who ARE PWOC...thank you and know that I love you past and present. 

The women I've met over the last 7 years of attending PWOC have truly changed my life in so many ways. I was still a new Christian when we moved here. The thought of praying outloud in front of others was terrifying, to the point that I'd physically get sick at just the thought. I led a class my first year here for the spring session and wouldn't even pray outloud at the end of each class, a friend would do it for me. The Lord though, oh he convicted me over that and gave me strength and the ability to share HIS love and HIS WORDS, and I eventually became the Prayer Chair on the board, which had me praying out loud in front of all the ladies every week. The Lord can give us the ability to do anything, when he calls us to it. I'm not the same woman I was 7 years ago. I've grown in the Lord, and know that I will continue to grow in Him. I pray that I'm surrounded by people who will challenge me and encourage me in my walk with the Lord. I pray that I can be the wife the Lord has called me to be, and mother I'm to be. I want to shine Jesus. That's my desire. I'm so thankful that the Lord's used the last 7 years for the purpose of having me lean on Him more, love Him more, and grow in HIM more.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Days 7-13 of Thankfulness

I'm sorry. I really meant to come here everyday and write what I'm thankful for, and it just hasn't happened. So without further ado!

Day 7 of Thanks. I'm thankful for Jackson. He was our first baby we ever planned. He was born with fluid on his lungs, spent 8 days in NICU, and came home and loved to just be cuddled and held. He's always had a sweet and tender heart. He loves the Lord, has a great imagination, and such a good boy. He has one of the greatest smiles and a laugh that is contagious. God brought a life full of happiness into our lives with Jackson.

Day 8 of thankfulness: My Emma Grace. I was not sure if I'd ever have another little girl after our beautiful Jordyn Ashleigh went home to Heaven. Before I was pregnant with her, I started praying and asking the Lord to allow us to have ano

ther daughter. When I went for my reveal ultrasound and the ob told us that she was a girl, I was crying so hard I couldn't even see the ultrasound. I think I asked at my next 2 apts to make sure she was really girl. We had 3 names narrowed down when we went to the hospital, the moment I looked at her I just knew she was Emma Grace. She has brought our family so much joy and she is ALL girl. She loves Jesus, loves her family, and her friends, and this girl loves to pose! :) I'm so thankful that the Lord answered our prayers with our beautiful Emma Grace

Day 9 of thanksgiving: My Noah-boah. He's full of giggles and orneriness. Our 5th child, 3rd boy I thought I'd seen it all. He keeps me on my toes. He's wild, crazy, and yet still loves to cuddle, and just be my lovey. He loves all his siblings. He goes from 0 to 100 in about 1.8 seconds. I truly think this boy has made me laugh more in his short 2 1/2 years than any other child of mine. Oh my sweet Noah, how I love him.

Day 10 of Thanksgiving: Olivia Joy, our unexpected blessing. She was my easiest pregnancy and I figured she'd be my baby with colic, because a pregnancy that easy doesn't come with a cost (lol)....instead she really threw us for a loop. Bor
n not breathing, then started having breathing issue's a couple hours later. She fought so hard in her first 8 days of life. She had an infection that caused a scare of possible meningitis, her little lungs collapsed causing a chest and breathing tube, then we were told she'd have to have to have surgery on her eye or she'd go blind. She instead wore eye patches once a day for 30 days and her eye has shown to be fine. She is nothing short of a miracle. Joy is what she brings us and what she exudes. I've never had a happier baby than Olivia (and they were all happy). She lights up our lives. We didn't plan her, but GOD surely did and I can not thank him enough for her or her siblings who adore her here on Earth and in Heaven.

Day 11 of Thanksgiving: I'm thankful for my husbands service, my brother, various friends and family who have all served. We have our freedom's because men and women fight and continue to fight for our freedoms. Let us never take for granted what has been fought and given up for us. 

Day 12 of being thankful: Today I am thankful for being a stay at home mom. After a night like last night where I have one little one not feeling good and up off and on until 3 AM and another little one who thought it was play time until after 4 AM, I was able with the help of my big kids, get some extra zzzz's and feel like a semi-productive person for the day!

Day 13: I'm thankful for my 2 beautiful nieces from my brother and his wife. They're beautiful, smart, sweet, talented girls who I adore and am so very excited to get to see them next month and watch my kids and them develop a close relationship. I love you Bailey and Brooke. You're amazing girls and I couldn't be more proud of you and Aunt Christy can not WAIT to spend more time with you!

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

30 Days of being thankful

I believe I did this on here last year. I've been a poor blogger, so thought this would be a good way to get me back to blogging and will allow me to expand on things. I'm going to do this first one for the first six days of November, going off what I've been writing on facebook.

Day 1: Day 1: I'm thankful that I have a Father who loves me so much, he died on a Cross for me....thank you, Jesus.
I did not truly come to Jesus and give my life completely over to him until I was 23 years old. I had always believed in some sense since I was a little girl, but did not really know the Lord, sinned without a second thought, and when it all came down to it, lived for myself. When Jordyn was born, I knew the Lord was alive and I wanted to know him intimately. We started going to chapel when we were stationed in Baumholder, Germany and when Jordyn was diagnosed our chaplain came and prayed with me that first night, his name was Chaplain Godlove. Truly could a man with that last name be anything, but a chaplain or preacher?! After Jordyn died, I knew I had to give my life fully over to Jesus and make it publicly. On Easter of 2005, Chad and I were both Baptized. I'm humbled by the cross and I'm forever grateful. I have the promise of Heaven. 

Thankfulness Day 2: I am thankful for my husband, Chad. We watched as our baby girl fought against aml leukemia so bravely, we clung to each other when she went home to Heaven. We beat the odds and fought for our marriage. We've been blessed with 5 more children, 5 deployments, an amazing life for the last 7 1/2 years in Germany (which the last 2 to 3 have been all for me). We are about to start t

he next stage as Chad prepares to retire from the Army, and begin life on the civilian side of things. Our life has been an adventure so far and I would not have wanted to go through this adventure with anyone else. Thank you for the blessings, for your hard work, and most of all your love for me and our family.

Thanksgiving Day 3: I'm thankful that my kids have had a great opportunities for extra curric. activities...from baseball, football, soccer, basketball, choir, piano, AWANA, VBS, and acting at Stables Theater, and many other things. We've been so blessed with amazing volunteers and have met so many great people and friends because of our kids activities.

Day 4: I am thankful that all my children seem to truly not only like each other, but enjoy playing together. Listening to their giggles and so much laughter as they play together. It's wonderful to see Jacob at 11 play with his 2 year old brother, as Emma (5) giggles watching them.

Day 5 of thanks: I am thankful that the Lord allowed me to bring Jordyn Ashleigh into this world. For 2 years 2 months and 8 days I was able to mother, love, and devote everything in me to the most amazing little girl that I've ever and will ever meet. Thank you Lord for allowing "me" to mother Jordyn Thank you for making me a mother, for changing my life in ways I never could have imagined.

Day 6: I am thankful for Jacob. After losing Jordyn and finding out we were expecting Jacob only 8 days after her death, I didn't think I could ever love again. When I heard his first cries, all fears were gone and I was so in love with him. He truly showed me that life not only could keep going, but could be full of joy again He not only gave us very unexpected blessing, I was able to give my bea
utiful Great Grandma Combs the best birthday present ever...she wanted a grandbaby born on her birthday and Jacob was that baby. We were blessed to only live 30 minutes from her and we were able to spend a great amount of time with her in her last almost 2 years of life. Thank you, God for giving us a blessing that terrified me to the core, but yet you knew how healing he would be and what joy he'd bring not only Chad and I, but my 92 year old Great Grandmother in her last years.

So there you have it, my first 6 days of thanksgiving. I am a very blessed woman and am humbled that the Lord has allowed me a single day to feel joy, comfort, laughter, love. I don't deserve it, but yet he allows it. He's given me a wonderful husband who I'm not always nice to, who I'm not very good at submitting to, yet he loves me through all my ugly attitudes  and poor behavior. He has allowed me to get pregnant easily. I do NOT take that lightly. I have such precious friends who struggle with infertility, who struggle with remaining pregnancy. I know what a gift it is. I ache for those who struggle or have never been able to experience a child in their womb. I am humbled that the Lord has entrusted not one or two, but SIX of His children to be in my (and Chad's) care for even one day. He holds Jordyn in his arms, yet he's allowed me to hold our other 5. We trust him with our family size and although that's uncommon in today's world, I'm so thankful I've never told Him "no" when it comes to adding to our family with a child. It amazes me that he has said that he loves me so much he wants me to raise his children. 

I pray you each know the Love of Christ and if you don't, that you will give your life to him, there is nothing, absolutely nothing more important! 

Monday, November 05, 2012


I'm very open on my political stance. I'm a Conservative Christian, Pro-Life, Anti-Abortion, Constituionalist, God-fearing and loving, Tea Party, girl on the Right. I don't think I have a liberal bone in my  body. I detest Obama. I think he's harmed our nation in ways we have not even seen yet and am concerned that if things that he's put into action are not repealed our country is heading to becoming a socialist nation.

So there it is. Now, I will also say that I think voting is a priveldge that we can not take for granted. When you have a husband who's fought for our rights and other countries to have the freedom to vote for their elected official, we can not take that lightly. Chad's been deployed 5 times, the last 3 being in Iraq, with the last being for 15 months. It was not easy, some days it felt unending, it's exhausting. But as exhausting as it was for me, it was nothing compared to what Chad and his brothers (and sisters) went through.

Please though, go vote. It's so important and our nation truly does depend on it.

Thursday, October 18, 2012


The upcoming move is coming up soon, and yet we're still in the Army's hurry up and wait. Waiting on paperwork so we can finish up to drop off passport paperwork. Chad did everything he needed to, but his unit's been out in the field, training so now that they're back, we're hoping what paperwork needs to be finished can be done tomorrow, so that Monday we can go drop off all the paperwork. He has a briefing next Friday, then we'll hopefully have orders the following week. PRAY we have orders the following week, because we have to schedule transportation, schedule to have my van shipped, make sure that we'll be able to get our dog and cat on our flight(s). I'm not worried about leaving Germany, because from my understanding the military flight we'll be on will be fine, but we hope to actually carry on our pets and place them under our seats for the 2nd flight since they are both the right weight.I'm not stressing, just ready to get things rolling since we know there's a lot to do.

My dear friend Petra has been spending time with my oldest 3 kids every week. I'm hoping we can all have a day together to spend and visit. My heart just aches leaving her. She's married to a German, so we won't just cross paths with her again, without a good deal of planning, whether it's visiting Germany (which we have every expectation to do), or visiting her when she comes to the states to visit her parents. She's been such a source of strength, friendship, and accountability to me in the last 7 1/2 years. I just can't imagine not being able to see her once a week. I know that the Lord brought us together and he will not end our friendship. I'm thankful that he allowed us to come together and grow together. I'm so thankful that the Lord brought such an amazing woman in our lives, who loves my children with all her heart and as much as she loves her own children. We are truly blessed and so thankful.

I have a great deal of laundry to do! So far behind it's not even funny. I keep saying I'm just going to take it all to the laundry matt, but haven't yet. It really would make it much easier if I did just take it all there and have it all washed, dried, and folded. No matter it all has to be done before our movers come! So at least I have a time limit. I've asked my family to hold me accountable to be doing laundry all day every day (as in the washer should be constantly going from 9-4) and if it is, I should be able to get caught up fairly easily. Pray for me, no seriously, pray for me! It seems ridiculous, but I do NOT like doing laundry and I know women who like it, but I am NOT one of those people!! Speaking of laundry I have blankets on my couch that need to be folded and my washer's almost done, so I can say I got some done today and can let a load of whites soak over night. I do remind myself that having laundry to do is a blessing, it means that we all have clothes to wear, which with the grace of GOD, we've barely bought because the Lord has blessed us with friends who have given us clothes for our kids. I'm so thankful.
Washer's I go!

Friday, September 28, 2012


Wow, I can't believe it's been over a month since I last blogged. Life's been busy to say the least and we have so much coming where to start!
We're buys with Emma in ballet and playing soccer. Normally soccer for 3-5 year olds is only 6 weeks total (3 weeks of nothing but practice and then 3 weeks of games), this year 3 weeks of practice (first week we were rained out) and 6 weeks of games (which we are continuing practices too). Jacob and Jackson are playing football. They are on the same team, have practice twice a week, and games on Saturdays. The boys are also taking piano lessons, we have homeschool art, choir, and gym. Add in PWOC (my bible study Wednesday mornings) our life is kind of crazy, oh and yeah we manage to fit in school every day as well!
Our other big news is that after 7 1/2 years of living in Germany, our time is coming to an end. Chad will be getting medically retired, so we're moving back to the states and he'll be in a WTU unit (Warriors Training Unit...which is for soldiers who have been injured) this will be his transition unit as he retires. He'll medically retire, but will still have 20 years in by the time all is said and done. We're planning on buying a house, so if you'd all pray. We have never owned our own home so we're pretty overwhelmed at all of it. We have found a home we like. A 4 bedroom house on 5 acres, with an above ground pool and deck (both brand new) and an outdoor kitchen, a machinery barn,  hay barn, lean to, and garage. We would like to add 2 more bedrooms and a family room, so we'll have to see if we can add this all in when purchasing or if we'll have to do it in a couple years, which would put him retired, but hopefully with a Government Service job on the civilian side of things. The house is great size (a little bigger than the house we live in now), the land would be perfect for what we're wanting (a couple horses and a steer that we'll fatten up and have butchered). We know that if this is the house the Lord has planned for our family, it will happen.

We're still waiting on orders that we were supposed to have a week ago, but so goes the Army and doing what they's a hurry up and wait process. We just really want to get the house packed up and sent on its way and our van shipped out...both as soon as possible so that once we get to the states we don't have to wait for our van or household items and can hopefully get settled into a home quickly.

School, I know I mentioned it briefly above, but it's going really well. Jackson's making great progress in his reading skills and rarely needs help. This has been a major prayer and he's answered. It's exciting to see his progress from week to week and I know that by the end of our school year, his reading is going to be right on target. Jacob's doing great. Next year he'll be in 7th grade, so we'll be changing up his curriculum, with things that will challenge him more, will be more than just book work, etc. Emma's in kindergarten and is loving reading, she's not feeling the math so much, so we're taking a break on the math and just focusing on reading right now. We're doing  Learn How to Read in 100 easy Lessons and she's on lesson 6 as of today and really amazing me. I'll be adding in handwriting in the next few weeks and we'll reintroduce math very soon. Noah likes to join in with our reading lessons, which is so sweet and fun and helps to keep him occupied since I am one on one with Emma (the big boys are more on their own and just come to me when they have questions).

Olivia's Army crawling now!! She's such a sweet and happy and loved baby girl! All our kids have been happy babies, but Olivia Joy lives up to her middle name in a whole new way! Everyone always comments on how happy she is. She's almost always smiling and often laughing. She smiles with her WHOLE face. All the other 4 kids are so in love with her. What I find amazing though is how much Emma and her look alike at this age. I was looking at pictures of Emma and all of the kids thought she was Olivia! Poor Noah was so confused!! LOL

Noah's all two! He's a sweetheart and ornery all at the same time! He loves cuddles, hugs, and kisses and bugging his older siblings. He is still obsessed with, soccer, baseball, basketball. He practices with Emma's team (Chad's the coach) and honestly for a 2 year old, is very good. He throws a baseball with scary force and speed, and can catch a football! He also loves to color and write and likes playing with his cars. He also would live outside if we allowed him to. He loves playing on his scooter and bike and just running and playing.

I'm truly sitting here in awe of the fact that the Lord has blessed me not once, but 6 times with amazing children to grow and nurture. I fail miserably quite often, and when I feel like I'm the worst mother in the world, I look at them and their faces are so often full of smiles. They're funny, full of joy and such life. So although I am anything but perfect, I mess up too often. I say things too harshly, discipline strictly...they're good and happy kids.

I'm going to try to get better about writing. I'm going to make a goal of at least once a week. Hopefully I can!

Sunday, August 19, 2012


We have VBS this week! Excited! We're doing Group: Sky! I'm the leader to kick off and end each day and in between will help where needed! Jacob's going to be volunteering this year vs participating. He's going to be Flash Skyrunner for my daily skit and then will be helping with the crafts station.

If  you haven't been keeping up with the Johnson's...Katie is no longer sedated. She asked the first day she was completely clear about Sarah and so Jody and Judy had to tell her that Sarah's in Heaven. She's now in the beginning days of grief, while she continues to heal. They're hoping she'll be heading to the Rehab area of the hospital very soon. Keep praying for all of them, as they grieve for Sarah, for the life they once knew/had, as they all try to help Katie physically heal as well as emotionally get through everything.

If you want to stay updated:

I'm off to sleep, it's after 1 AM and I need to be up in abut 6 to 6 1/2 hours.

God Bless

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Johnson update

I wanted to update on the Johnson family. Katie is still in the hospital, still sedated. They have done a total of 2 skin grafts and think that is all she will need. Her face is almost completely healed, and they hope they'll be able to extubate her possibly tomorrow and hopefully start trying to wake her up soon.
Judy is in a back brace and will be in one for a few months, but is walking and walking without even the support of a cane.
They had Sarah's funeral, which was for family and very close friends last Thursday and then had a community wide memorial service for her on Saturday afternoon, which was attended by hundreds in the community.
They are currently living in a house that is owned by a German couple (which is just a God thing, since they lived here in Germany for 6 plus years and love Germany) and who's offered to sell them the house, they've also been offered to help them rebuild where their previous house was. All their physical needs that they could possibly need or want has been provided and still being provided. So many in their community and throughout the world is stepping up to do what they can. I know that the village they used to live in, here in Germany has raised a great deal of money to donate to them, since it's what they can give to them to help them and show them how much they're loved from this side of the world.
I often find myself in tears in grief and awe. The Lord is showing his glory in so many ways through this tragedy. Sarah's with Jesus and I know they'll miss her forever, even when they rejoice that she's walking with our Lord, she was a piece of their heart and she's gone now.
Please pray for Judy and Katie's continued physical healing. Pray for all 6 of them (as well as grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, extended family, and friends) as they begin the emotional healing. To have your world literally blow up, to lose your child and sister...there's a long road of healing.
We serve an awesome God, a father who loves us and holds us through every trial that we're dealt with. He never leaves us. We don't always understands why he allows the things that happen in this world, to happen. What I know though is he loves us. He cares about us. He comforts us. He died for us. Sarah loved the Lord and she's now with him.
How Great is our God? He did allow their home to explode, in that explosion he welcomed HIS sweet Sarah home to Heaven, he showed a family how loved and cherished they are not only in their small community of Wilson, but throughout the world. The Lord showed them he'd provide for them in their dire circumstances. We have an awesome and just amazing Lord.
If you'd like to keep up to date with the Johnson's, they have a caringbridge page that, Judy's sister, Kathy is keeping updated for the time being:


Saturday, July 28, 2012

This past Tuesday precious friends of ours had their lives change for ever. Their home exploded from what is expected a propane leak. The Johnson's have 5 children. Katie who will be 19 tomorrow, Hannah and Nathan who are twin 16 yr olds, 14 year old Sarah, and 10 year old Sam. Judy and Jody (mom and dad) are Christ-loving, hard working, amazing people. Jody retired from the Army after serving 22 years in the service and Judy is a veteran herself and now a Hospice nurse. Jody works for his childhood friend in construction. Hannah and Sam were not home the morning of the explosion. Judy has 3 broken ribs and 4 broken vertabrae's and was released from the hospital today. Jody and Nathan both were bruised, but otherwise amazing ok and were released yesterday. Katie suffered burns to 40% of her body, she had a skin graft on her foot and hand yesterday and although her face suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns, they  believe yesterday was the only time Katie will need surgery, nothing but the Lord right there. Sarah, sweet, sweet Sarah. She's with Jesus. She did not survive the explosion. Once Katie is out of the hospital, which will be a few weeks most likely, they'll have her funeral. This family is one of the most giving families you could ever meet. My heart is heavy for them, yet I have hope because the Lord is doing amazing things in the small town of Wilson, New York. He's bringing people to the Lord, he's showing this amazing family how loved they are. They literally have just had visitors one after another while in the hospital.

I don't know why the Lord allows the things he does. I can tell you though his glory will shine. There WILL BE Beauty from the ashes.
Please be in prayer for this family, as they deep for their precious Sarah and as they heal.

Thursday, July 12, 2012


Yesterday was a workout for sure! We had a fun day, going to a castle we'd never been to, or even heard of for that matter, only about an hour away, then went to Wurzburg and walked along the All Saints Bridge, which we'd never done. We used to go to Wurzburg a lot and love the city, but had never went to the famous bridge and I'm so glad we did. We walked a great deal yesterday and we didn't get home until after 8 PM. I had promised Jackson we'd go running, and have to say if it weren't for him, I don't think I'd have done it last night. We'd stopped and had Taco Bell on our way home and let me tell you, I will NEVER eat Taco Bell again. It didn't agree with me during my pregnancy with Olivia and well it still doesn't. So, Jack and I went out about 9 last night and off we went. I didn't plan on running a full mile since my stomach was just all over the place, but then I ran into my friend S, who was running and so she went off of her route and went with me. She pushed me to go faster, she talked which helped me to keep my mind off the pain in my legs and stomach, well until we slowed down to turn around and yeah, threw up and then kept on going, I ran the 2nd 1/2 mile home. I was definitely sore when I got home, but it felt good. It felt good to know I'd done something good for myself, and well thankfully all of Taco Bell was out of my system, thankfully.

Today I was sore, so very very sore. I'm still sore and it's almost 2 AM!
Tomorrow night I'm going running again and it'll again be after another busy, but fun-filled day. We're going to Pottenstein to the rollerbahn,paddleboats, and caves.

So I AM doing this! I'm hoping that in a months time I'll see 10 lbs off of me, then hopefully with diet changes and running as well as adding in weight lifting that I'll be adding in to my workouts in the next few weeks, will help to get this weight off. I plan on changing things up every month to every 6 weeks, so my body doesn't stop loosing weight. I know it may seem unreasonable, but I do have a goal of 10 lbs a month. I know I may not hit that goal every month. I know I will most likely it a plateau at some point, but I am going to work my butt off (hopefully literally!!).

So here's my various goals for the next 2 weeks.
Run 6 miles.
4 hours on Eliptical (the plan is 4 days a week for 30 minutes)
2 days of Zumba a week.

Then, the following two weeks I plan to up the running to 8 miles
5 hours of Eliptical
3 days of Zumba

Only water
upping my fruits and veggies
Planning on fruit for breakfast (not a big fan of breakfast most days) with scrambled eggs on weekend.
Lunch will be healthy sandwiches and wraps
Dinners will be a variety as our family normally does, but I will be limiting my portions.
Lots of fresh fruits and veggies for snacks..when I'm bored my plan is to grab fruits or veggies. I am planning on making angel food cake and enjoying strawberries and angel food cake (no cool whip).

I am writing this all out for an accountability.
I've told Chad to not buy me anymore Dr. Pepper. He loves me no matter what my size, but wants to support me in getting healthy. He knows how unhappy I am with my weight and just how I look. I know I will never be the size I was when we got married. 6 babies have widen these hips and there's no way they're ever going back to where they were! I'm truly ok with that. I don't expect to have a flat stomach, just a smaller one (and smaller butt! LOL no seriously it needs to be smaller). These are not just temporary changes, these are forever changes. I want to be healthy for myself and my family. I want my kids to never feel embarrassed by me, because of how fat I am. I want to be a good example to my kids, especially my girls and show them a healthy body image. I don't want them to be obsessed with their weight, just show them that with hard work and eating healthy will keep them healthy. Being skinny does not equate health. I know many see this and don't understand that, but it's true. I have seen and know some very unhealthy "skinny" people. It's about excercising and eating healthy. I don't want to eat our of boredom, sadness, happiness anymore. I want to fuel my body with food and then move on. The fact is, food has never made me emotionally feel better, instead it's made me feel worse. It's time to use food as the Lord designed it. That's to fuel my body, give me energy.

I plan to have one day a week where I don't workout and allow myself a splurge on eating. I plan to make this normally Friday's when we go to the Hospitality House.
I can do this. I will do this. I AM doing this.

Thank you for your prayers and support, it means far more than you can imagine. I can do all things through Christ!!

Monday, July 09, 2012

Here I Go (Again)

I have fallen off the wagon so to speak. I've not been running in far too long and started drinking stupid dr. pepper again. I have one left and then no more and tomorrow the running will start up again. With drinking the pop, I've been craving the sweet, a great deal more than when I was running. I'm so tired of this ridiculous cycle. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. We have an eliptical that I'm going to drag inside tomorrow and on my off days of running or on rainy really hard days, this is what I'll work out on. I have big changes in eating that are about to start and once I start it, I'll blog about it, because I need the accountability and hopefully the encouragement.

I can say that without a doubt working out really effects my mood. I've been honestly really sad lately, find myself not feeling sorry for myself, just not overwhelmed in all the joy that is my life. I want to be clear that I'm not depressed, just find myself feeling sad or blah more often than I like. I have a husband who loves me, beautiful, funny, smart children who are all in different fun and challenging stages...I want to enjoy all of it. I find myself grumpy and yelling more than I like, more than is necessary by any means, and find myself just flying off the handle over little stuff. I go, again. I recognize that excercising and eating right has a huge impact on me emotionally as well as physically, so I MUST do this. I can't quit, ever. I know that my weight will be a fight for me for the rest of my life, if I don't stay on top of things. My biggest prayer over all of this is that I don't get a dellusional image of my body when I have reached my goal weight/size. I have seen it happen to people who've lost a lot of weight like I need to. They get to a healthy weight and size and then keep going to a point that they're unhealthy on the otherside. So, I'm ready to get healthy and stay healthy. I'm ready to be healthy physically as well as mentally/emotionally.

I know that part of my emotional well being is being in the Lords word daily, multiple times a day. I have been feeling the Lord reminding me that I must be in his word every day and I must be in it on my own, as well as with my children.

So, here I go. Tomorrow's my day.

Thursday, July 05, 2012

My sweet baby girl is 4 months already. It's amazing how quickly time goes by. Don't let anyone tell you that it doesn't and it does not matter how many children you have, it goes by too quickly no matter what. Oh if I could only slow things down.

So Miss Olivia is Miss Personality. She's always smiling and just a happy baby girl. She's rolled a few times, but honestly I haven't really put her down on the floor much to give her an opportunity. I learned that the less you put them down, the longer until they're mobile and lack of mobility is a beautiful thing for as long as you can do it! LOL I'm joking, but honestly I'm in no hurry for her to be rolling all over, because rolling leads to crawling, crawling leads to walking. Sigh...then running, jumping, and then heading to collage. Ok so maybe I skipped some years in there, but it just all goes by so quickly.

Olivia just hanging out in her carseat
she was 3 months old here 

My sweet, happy girl 
3 months old 

My cutie...3 months old 

Silly face...4 months old 

Miss Flexible

She smiles with her whole face 

My beautiful girl 

Jack,Noah, and Jacob 

My beautiful girls...Olivia and Emma 

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Crazy Army Life

Life is never boring when the Army is part of your life, that is for sure! First we were told we'd be staying here to retire and now we're being told to prepare to move before the end of this year. We've been stationed here for 7 years and the thought of leaving Germany just takes my breath away and the tears start to flow, but...I see God working.

Chad is working to get a GS job when he retires. For us to have a housing allowance as part of that move, he needs to be hired state-side. If we remained in Germany and he was hired as ultimately a local hire, there'd be no housing allowance. So this way the Army moves us back to the states, if he gets hired, the government will move us and we'll get a housing allowance there for saving Chad's pay for our bills, savings, etc. We have a lot to still learn about what civilian life will bring us, but it's exciting (I'll admit a tad bit scary, but in a good way). The older boys are just itching to move back to the states. I think they believe we'll be eating out every day, lol.

We do not know where we'll be stationed in the states, yet. Chad's requesting Alaska. If we get that, it'll be an amazing gift, as we have dear friends who leave tomorrow to head back to the states (they don't leave Germany tomorrow, just our post) who are heading to Alaska and to the particular post we'd be able to go to. Emma calls the mom of this family, Grandma, so this would be such an amazing blessing. Chad's dreamed of going to Alaska for years, I think it'd be an amazing experience for our family, and we'd be able to be with our dear friends and Emma's sorrogant Grandma who loves her dearly.

We don't have a pin point date of leaving, no pinpoint new assignment to end this career of Chad's and a way of life we've known. But what we do know is that GOD is in control. We see him working in so many ways and don't see him working in even more ways. So for now, I'm waiting and trusting. Waiting on the Lord (through the US Army) to tell us where we are heading to next. So now I wait,  hopefully patiently and gracefully.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Couch to 5 K

I thought i needed to update about this journey, torchure, what ever you want to call it! LOL I have taken this week off. I have had a great deal to do and although it's just 20 to 30 minutes, I think my body needed this rest. I've gained over 10 lbs, well I lost 10 and gained it back. I'm frustrated, and I mean really frustasted with that. I'm so hungry and this fat girl really can not afford this mess. I did not gain the 10 lbs this week, it's been over the last 4 or so weeks. I can't say I'm really eating more, I think my body is just holding onto things more. I also have been trying to make sure I'm eating enough. I'm going to talk to someone tomorrow. I did weigh myself yesterday and a couple lbs were off, so we'll see. I haven't added in the Zumba workouts like I'd planned, but it's time to do that next week.

So next week I'll be back on this journey and will let you know how it goes.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Are You a Slob too?

So are you a slob? When I hear that word, I picture one of two scenerio's....a home that has food/dirty dishes all over the place or a home like what you see on the show hoarders. Now, I'm not "that" bad, but if anyone saw certain rooms on a bad day, week, month, etc...well I'd be horrified. Mostly my bedroom is our "dirty little secret". It's AWFUL. It's the room that everything gets shoved, thrown, and piled into when company is coming over and then is promptly locked, because you don't want to CHANCE anyone accidently opening the door and seeing the horror-fest!
I'm the best cleaner when we have company coming...well guess is coming! Today the kids have been hard at work (and play and messing around and get the picture) cleaning the top floor (their rooms are up there, so it's their responsibility). So today I'm going to start on the disaster that is the Master Bedroom. We had it cleaned up about 3 months or so ago. It was nice and relaxing for me to go into, relax, read, surf the web, watch tv, sit and talk with the kids privately, and biggest yet...I was leaving the door open, when company was over. Now though, oh no, no,no,no. When I went to have Olivia we got a new bed. A wonderful, comfortable, huge...King Size bed. then baby gifts were tucked in there, until I had time to go through them (which I have), then baskets of laundry were brought in there (because I hadn't had time to fold them and someone was coming over) and once they're in there, they just sit and oh you know that they also magically double and tripple over night. Then paperwork was brought in and a sweet little toddler dumps said paperwork, and well  you're tired from night-time nursings, and well seriously the room is packed full again, no room to walk without walking on something (besides a bare floor) so I get out of there as quickly as possible, avoid it as much as humanly possible during the day, and then crawl back in there at the end of the day, to collapse in bed, wake up and repeat.

So today's the day. Most of my day is gone, but the baby who only wanted to nap on me is finally awake and very content in her  bouncy seat, so I'm about to head into the warzone. I'm going to take a before picture and then as I make progress I'll take pictures. I do not know if I'll show the world, but it'll be there for ME and that way I will hopefully never go back.

So besides the inspiration that company is coming, I'm also inspired by:

Do you know her? I LOOOVE her. She's my inspiration. After my company is gone next week, I'm going to start using her tactics. We have a lot of things happening in the next year (a GREAT, BIG MOVE across the ocean...sob-sob-sigh)...our beloved little Army post here in Germany is closing, and well Chad's never fully recovered from his injuries in the wreck he had almost 2  years ago, so medical retirement is beginning. Downsizing is now a MUST. We will most likely be limited to about 10,000 lbs which may sound like a lot to some of you (especially if you've never moved or your a minimalist) but we're not, we also have large pieces of furniture and 5 living children, and have lived in Germany for 7 years (next month) we've acquired a great deal of furniture (upgraded in many things). I want to get rid of everything we don't need or want (we have an attic and garage so it's easy to stick things there and then not think about them until you go up or in there and get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that at some point you MUST deal with it). So my goal is, get the living space of our house dealt with first. Sort what we want to keep, toss what needs to be tossed, sale or give away what we simply don't need any longer, but someone else does!

Oh and on a side note..I AM still doing the couch to 5 K, I'm just still stuck on Week 5, but tomorrow we're moving to week 6. I'll blog about that tonight or tomorrow after day 1.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Life's been busy, but so good! Lots of BBQ'ing with friends, birthday's, ballet recitals, baseball games, schooling, and running (like literally), and learning how to really use my camera which I've had for way too long, to not know how to use it truly properly (aka moving it away from AUTO and going into those other scary parts of manual!!)'s a work in progress, but I AM seeing progress in my photographs so that's good!

                                                               My beautiful Olivia Joy who's
                                                           now 3 months old....

                                                  Mr. 2 year old...enjoying his birthday gift
                                                new basketball hoop and basketball!
                                                 Earlier in the day at Jacob's baseball game
                                               Our sweet Birthday boy!!! I can't believe he's 2

                                                    Sweet Emma Grace who loved playing
                                                      baseball this year!
                                                     Jackson as catcher

                                                              Jacob up to bat

                                                      Kids on a field trip
                                             field trip...we went on an art field trip,
                                          no pictures inside, but the art is gorgeous
                                                    This is where the castle is that we visited
                                               on our field trip
                                                      beautiful German fields
                                                            My beautiful babies

Now the running...I'm still trucking along. I will admit I'm not loving running still. I'm doing it and proud of myself, but I still don't enjoy it. Maybe I will one day, but 6 weeks into it (I am only on week 5 in the program though because I repeated week 4 and I am thinking I may repeat week 5 as well). I'm going to complete this though and plan to continue running after I reach my goal of 5 K's aka 3.1 miles. My friend who's doing this with me and who is a runner, wants us to plan on doing a half marathon one day and as much as I hate running, I think it'd be pretty amazing to do 13 miles, I believe it's 13.1 miles for  half-marathon (haven't looked it up, because right now it's a horrifying thought lol) but it's something I know I could do with the proper training! Chad's been really supportive and the kids are all excited that I'm doing this and I really think they're proud of me for doing it. I'm planning on adding weight training so that I can get my metabolism up and working better. Ladies in case you don't know it, weight training is necessary to actually lose weight (you can't just do cardio...we need to build muscle to make the weight come off). As I run I am often saying to myself, with God all things are possible. I am also about at a point where I'm going to be running with music, my Ipod is full of Christian music so it'll be me praising the Lord as I run through the pain. He's given me the will and desire to do this and I won't stop. I'm so thankful to serve an AWESOME GOD, who gives us the ability to do things we don't think we can, didn't want to do, were scared to do!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Update on Friend

Thank you for praying for our friend who was injured in an IED attack in Afganistan. He made it to Landstuhl last week and Chad was over there for a apt himself and was able to see Drew for a few minutes. He then left 2 days later for Walter Reed and Jenn was able to join him there. He's still got a long road ahead of him, surgeries ahead of him, etc...but they're relying on the Lord and he will see them through this. Please continue to pray for both of them, as he learns to live with the aftermaths of this accident, his wife, and their unborn baby who's growing in Jenn's womb. We serve an awesome GOD who can do all things.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Prayers for injured soldier

Army life has many ups and downs and a few days ago we were reminded of not only the downs, but how fragile life is, especially for active duty soldiers. Friends of ours who left here last summer and moved to a stateside duty station, he was hurt in an IED incident. He finally stable enough to be transferred to Landstuhl Army Medical Hospital, here in Germany. It just so happens that Chad has been up at Landstuhl since early Tuesday morning for an apt on Tuesday and two apts today. Chad was able to see Drew as the staff wheeled Drew out of surgery and back to his room in ICU. Chad had an apt at 2:30, he'd been up in the ICU waiting room to see if he'd be allowed to go in and sit with Drew for a little bit. We don't know if they'll let Chad in with Drew or not, but his wife will not be coming over here, becasue he's not going to be here long enough to fly her over, so we're hoping they'd let someone who knows and cares about Drew to be with him, even if only for a few minutes. This would also give his wife a personal account of how Drew's doing before he gets to the states and she can join him. He had life altering injuries (I don't have permission to share those injuries so I won't post them here), but please be in prayer for Drew and Jenn and their unborn son.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Week 3 of C25K

Yes 2 posts in a row, but I want my C25K posts to stand on their own.
So this past week I did week 3. It consisted of the normal 5 minute brisk walk, then 90 second jog, 90 second walk, 3 minute jog, 3 minute walk...and repeat all by the initial 5 minute walk. The 90 second jog amazing felt much easier, while I really felt like I was going to die on Monday from the 3 minute jog, but I of course did not. I am so thankful for my friend "S" who's doing this with me and keeping me motivated, cheering me on, and pushing me and not letting me give up (or letting giving up be an option). I must say I feel very determined. There's a BIG part of me that does not want to keep going, but there's an even bigger part of me that must keep going. Friday, I was sore from Thursday's workout, and as I was getting up and getting ready was thinking of all sorts of excuses of why I should just skip the day...I was sore, tired, and just simply didn't want to. I then looked in the mirror and said "but you want to get healthy and loose weight even more than all those other things, so shut up with the EXCUSES and accept you're going and just get over yourself!"...funny what telling yourself "shut up and pull on your big girl panties" can do! So I did it. I was slow, it hurt, I was a sweating, gross mess, and oh yes I WAS tired after it was all said and done, but I ran for a half a mile in total, and over all did over a mile in walking/jogging combined. I finished week 3 and am now off to dreading week 4. I have decided that I'm not going to complain this week. I'm going to push through the pity party and just do it. This week will consist of

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

  • Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
  • Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
  • Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
  • Walk 1/4 mile (or 2-1/2 minutes)
  • Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
  • Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
  • Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
I will finish off with at least 1 lap of walking, more if my calves are still tight after the first  lap. I'm hoping it'll be nice enough that I can do it at our outdoor track vs the indoor one. I find it easier to be outside and am actually looking forward to the day when I can start going off the track and start going on the road and different paths. I think that will happen when I finish up this 9 week program.
I'm going to be looking for a double jogging stroller so I can take both Olivia and Noah out on morning jogs this summer and fall and let the older kids ride their bikes. Hopefully I can find one that I like and for a decent price.

So far I've lost 9 lbs. I will not be weighing myself every week, but instead every 4 weeks. Next week, I'm going to start Weight Watchers. I'm hoping I can find my old stuff that I had and use that program (for free) and if not, then I'll sign up online and do it there or find another program I can use. I'll write more about that next week and share what I'm going to be using for this side of my fight to lose the pounds and get healthy! I promise that what ever I use, will allow for snacks of not so good for you things here and there, otherwise I'll not make it. (That's why I love Weight keeps it real for people, so they can still have a treat here and there, but not over-indulge. )

BTW if you're here, leave a comment! I could really use the encouragement! Thanks to the one who emailed me last week and I'd love for you to share how you're doing with the C25K. Let me know if anyone wants the link.

Our Week In Review

We made it through very gently even Jordyn's 12 anniversary of going to Heaven (May 8) and today (May 12) of burying her. I cried a couple times, but amazingly God just surrounded me in so much love and his gentleness that the day was actually just simply not horrible like it usually is. It was a beautiful, sunny, mild day...honestly it was much like the day she went home to Heaven 12 years ago. The Lord has filled my life in so many ways that I never could have dreamed of. I thought I'd never have another child again (little did I know that day that I was already pregnant with Jacob). I thought I'd never be able to love another child the way a mother should. I knew without a doubt that I'd hurt like that for the rest of my life and at that time I WANTED to hurt like that forever. I know that may sound crazy, but during those days, weeks, and months after Jordyn died, the pain was what kept her alive in so many ways for me. If you've lost a child I think you might understand (although we all grieve differently). Thankfully though, that pain has eased tremendously and although at times the wave of heartaches comes soaring back and the tears flow easily and I think of "what might have been"...I find I can rejoice for Jordyn more than anything. She's in Heaven, with the King of Kings. She's got our Savior to hold her, kiss her, and tell her how perfect she is in HIS eyes! (Pretty extroidanary if you ask me!). She will never know pain (physical or emotional) again, she only knows our Lord and his Amazing Grace.

Tuesday's are our very busy day, so even if I had wanted to wallow in self-pity and grief, there wouldn't have been much time. Instead we had school to do, ballet to go to, T-ball game to play (both for Emma), and Baseball practice for our 2nd oldest, dinner to make, baths to have, teeth to brush, beds to get into, and oh yeah a newborn to nurse, snuggle with, and lots of diapers to change. Oh did I mention a toddler who is almost 2 to chase, and an 11 year old to try and keep in line? As much as I despise the saying in terms of grief, life does go on. Life does not stop, grief although allowed, is not available to just wallow in, not at this time of our lives. Jordyn was remembered and thought of. Words of love and comfort were given all over facebook and off the computer. Grace was shown from dear ones, but most of all from our Lord and Savior and for that I'm eternally grateful.

Last night instead of just Jackson having baseball, Jacob did as well. Normally Jacob plays on Saturday's, but because our post has 2 teams this year and today's scheduled game was against the other team from our post they decided to move the game to Friday evening at 5:30. Jack's game was at 6:30, the only thing splitting the fields is a we started off at Jacob's game and a good friend came to watch (her daughter plays on Saturday mornings so we never get to watch each others kids play, so it was really great having her there to cheer our boys on!). Jacob's team won (yeah!!) Jacob got walked (although I was already down at Jack's game by the time he went up to bat since he sat out the first two innings...go figure the first gave this season they'd have him sit out , when normally he plays the whole gave...oh well). Jack's age group still does the ridiculous "no score" junk, no one's "out", coach pitches (it's called "Coach pitch") and if the kid doesn't hit after 5 pitches, he just back to sit on the bench (I'm not a fan of this whole politically correct sports junk...oh and yes they ALL get trophies at the end of the year, because well no one's a loser ..ugh sorry I digress). Anyways, I went to watch Jackson and tried HARD to keep my big old Momma mouth closed when it came to cheering for him, but well I failed pretty miserably. When he went up to bat I kept quiet, but darn it when he got on base...I was a cheering fool! LOL Now now worries, I'm not a crazy sports parent who's pitching a very LOUD fit over the other teams, even when the coaches don't follow the rules (if you're going to have rules the coaches need to KNOW them and FOLLOW my opinion). I'm just a mom who cheers for her kid to RUN when he needs to run or STOP when he shouldn't! LOL Jack did great. He's quite the hitter and I think if he paid more attention when his team was out on the outfield, he'd be quite the catcher of balls (he's not afraid to get in front of the ball, he just needs to pay attention enough to see the ball coming towards him at what ever position he's in...sigh lol). Emma's just instructional tball for 3-5 year olds, so honestly it's just nothing more or less than herding cats. Yes, herding cats. They're a crazy, wild, don't hardly pay attention most of them, little messes! It's fun, especially when you're just standing on the sidelines watching. Now when you're filling in for (or I'm sure the full time) coach or assitant coach (as Chad is) then it can be a bit stressful, especially when one or two parents are just standing around not helping to guide their child as they're supposed to. I filled in a couple weeks ago as Chad had to work late and the other coach had left for Croatia that morning with her family (perks of living in to other countries at the spur of the moment, literally!). So there I was, trying to get 6 (a few kids were missing) 3 through 5 year olds to practice. I was stressed, since I had not planned on filling in (Chad was supposed to be there by the time practice started!...HA HA) I was not prepared. Let me just say, I have NO DESIRE to be a coach for this age. They're NOT bad children, they are just wild, wonder, live in their own little grass picking, rolling around in the dirt, wandering off to other parts of the field....toddlers. Yeah, I'd be good with an older age, but NOT instructional! But it was a new experience for me and makes me even more appreciative of Chad and our other coach for this team and the coaches of this age we've had for the older (now) kids! So as you can guess, there are no losers, only winners of Instructional. The all just play to have fun and learn the basic idea! (hopefully)

So here we are to today, which in Germany is now Sunday/Mother's Day. Our plan for the day is a busy one, but should be good. Church, quickly home, get Emma ready and she has ballet (recital is next weekend so they're doing extra rehersals). Come home, change her into her recital costume, take her to my friend's who is a photographer and is taking the ballet photo's, come home and we'll be having a BBQ with friends. I will hopefully be good and tired by tomorrow night and will collapse in bed.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Well I finished up my 2nd week of C25K. Let me tell you, it hurt..running for 90 straight seconds. I know for those who are in shape or run on a regular basis, 90 seconds doesn't seem like a big deal...but when you're out of shape like I am and have not ran in a VERY long time...90 seconds straight is big. I did it, and in the morning, I start week 3. So what does week 3 entail for me?
5 minutes brisk walk, 90 sec. jog, 90 second walk, 3 minute jog, 3 minute walk...then repeat (not the 5 minute brisk walk). I'm terrified of this week...the 90 second job was horrible, so 3 minutes is terrifying. Oh it's going to be hard and painful! I'll do it though, feel free to pray for me! :)

Monday, April 23, 2012


So today I did my 2nd day of C25K. I decided over the weekend that although I officially started on Friday, that I'm making today day 1 of week 1...I just have a thing about needing to start things on Monday's (this is a recent realization btw! LOL). So I did it today and will take tomorrow and Wednesday off and then do Thursday and Friday and have the weekend to recover. I would love to do it M, W,F...but I go to PWOC (women's bible study) so at least for the next couple of weeks I'll be doing it M,Th, Fr. The summer PWOC normally doesn't start until 9:30 and if that's how things go this year, then I will be able to change my schedule up, of course I may not go to PWOC this summer, depending on what study they choose to do this summer.

So today I did 25 minutes, not purposely, but it's just how it ended up being. The first job was actually good and went by faster than I expected, but the 2nd time up in jogging was PAINFUL, but I did it. I am not too proud to say I counted down the last 5 seconds and was oh so thankful that 60 seconds of jogging was up. I know it's just 60 seconds, but when you go from nothing really to now jogging and walking it's pretty big for a big girl. I am prepared to be stiff tomorrow, and plan to stretch off and on throughout the day and will be doing some lunges and squats and tomorrow I'm going to start sit ups and push ups tomorrow, here at home. I'm going to take it slow and not over due it, I want to be able to walk on Wednesday! But figure even if all I do is 10 of each, that's 10 more than I was doing and I can add 10 more every 3 days. I plan on doing those every day, including on the weekend, so I will be building some muscle since when doing the squats and lunges and arm lifts I plan to do that while wearing Olivia in my Moby wrap.

Oh speaking of Olivia..she's 8 weeks old now. I can't believe how quickly my beautiful girl is growing.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Couch to 5 K

I started the Couch to 5 K (C25K from here on out) yesterday and oh boy am I sore today. I didn't even do the full 20 minutes because of needing to be home to greet my friend who was leaving her 2 boys with me, while she was at her drs apt. I felt GREAT afterwards. Now during the jogging bit, my legs felt like jello, but it was all doable. My friend "S" is ulatimtely doing this with me. S already runs 4 times a week and is in good shape. She's my accountability partner and encourager. I am so thankful for S, because I know I most likely wouldn't have even started this, if it weren't for her.

So where I'm at. I'm 7 weeks post partum, very,very out of shape, breastfeeding, have not worked out since last July, and could eat healthier (that's a constant work in progress as I do more and more research on food and realizing that what most Americans believe is healthy eating, truly is not good for our butter is NOT bad, meat and that includes RED meat is not bad. I have a long ways to go, but I will get there. We eat less and less processed foods, we've worked hard to get as much hormone-filled foods out of our home. We eat a lot more fruits and veggies that are pesticide free).

I have 4 days a week where I can work out in the morning, Wednesday's I have bible study so no working out that day. I'm still trying to decide if I will be getting my 2nd day of workout on Tuesday or Thursday or if I just do all 4 days, but make Thursday a walking only day. It may not seem like a big decision to others, but it's huge to me. I want to have the best workout I can and have success with this. I have a goal of 1 to 2 lbs a week and knowing I could have a week here or there where I do not loose anything at all. I'm planning on adding light weight lifting into my program as well, but that will have to be at home as I don't leave Olivia with anyone (yes, including Chad) so leaving her to go to the gym and lift weights is not going to happen). We have some hand-held weights and we have a few can goods if nothing else I can use as well. I am hoping that after a month to add ankle weights too. For women, weight lifting is essential to up our metabolism so this fat can fall off.

I'll be posting more about this journey of getting healthy and losing the weight. I'd like to see at least 50 lbs off in 6 months. I will still be very overweight, but I will be healthier and will be half way to my ultimate goal. I want to loose at least 100 lbs. I could still loose more after that, but that's my big goal.

I'm also rearranging how our day goes. We homeschool and this year we started off great. I started our day off with reading a bible devotion and praying with the kids, then we started school. School went so smoothly. We stuck with it for a few months, and honestly I don't remember what caused us to stop, but we did and I have seen the negatives to it. I want to end our school year off in a positive light. Starting our day in Gods word and seeking him, can only make things better.

So there it is. The C25K program is a 9 week program, I will be giving an update at least 3 times a week and once a week to say how much I've lost. My scale has ounces on it, so I can see if I'm really close to a 1 loss or over or exactly.

Here we go!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Olivia Joy

Our beautiful Olivia Joy is here! She was born not breathing, so after a great deal of stimulation they were able to get her to breath and we heard her muffled cries. They brought her over to us all wrapped up and we didn't have a clue if she was a girl or a boy, so my nurse whispered to Chad and he said "we have to decide between the two names we liked"! I knew immediately she was a girl (we had 3 boys names picked out and 2 girl names)! Looking at her we both agreed on Olivia Joy! It just fits her beautifully. Once I was in recovery we spent about two hours with her, and she started having breathing problems and started turning grey, so she was sent back to NICU. They took me upstairs to my room, about 10 or so minutes after I got up there, my friend who had the other kids showed up, so I had to tell them we couldn't see her, since at that point I didn't know for sure what was happening with her. The last I had been told was that she probably just needed some oxygen and she'd be brought up to me after an hour or two. I was really out of it while the kids were visiting and after they left just felt horrible. Chad came up shortly after they left and said we needed to get me down to her, because she needed to eat and they wanted to give her formula or sugar water and he knew I wouldn't be happy with that. So we were able to get me out of bed and walking by a little after 2 PM (Oh Olivia was born at 9:07 AM), this was the earliest I'd ever been up, but I'd been moving my legs for about 4 hours at that point. Chad wheeled me down to her and I pumped, they were able to give her some colustrum and I said it was ok to give her their sugar water mixture. She got this for the next 2 days, until my milk was fully in and then she was on breast milk full time.
The 2nd night of her life, my nurse told me that they needed me down with Olivia, so I went down to her and her dr told me that she had a fever and the infection she had was showing higher numbers and they were afraid she could have meningitis, so they needed my approval to test. They gave me all the information and I called Chad, who'd went home for the night to be with the other kids for the night. We both agreed there was no choice, we had to agree to the lumbar puncture, because if she did have meningitis she had to be treated. They tried once and were not able to get enough spinal fluid so her dr said that they'd try again later that night or in the morning to see if they could get enough spinal fluid. The next morning I get down there and am told that she does not have meningitis (praising the Lord) but that at 4 AM her lung collapsed and they had to put in a chest tube and intubate her. That was the point I couldn't hold the tears in anymore and sobbing took over. My sweet 3 day old baby was going through so much.

I had left out that in the beginning with her breathing issue's she had pneumonia and they started off with an oxygen mask, which wasn't enough, then a canula, which was also not enough, and had moved to a CPAP with the breathing tube it was the first time she they took her from me that first day, I'd fully seen her face. The next morning when I came down (or it could have been that afternoon, I honestly can't remember and short of looking back at my updates on Facebook (which I'm too tired to do right now), her breathing tube was removed. Her chest tube came out the next day. After they had taken her off the breathing tube she had went back on the CPAP machine. When they took her chest tube out, they removed her from the CPAP and said if she did ok for an hour, they'd let her go until 10 PM that night and then just make hourly decisions, depending on how she was doing. She NEVER had to go back on it and never needed anymore help to keep her oxygen levels up!!!

Over the next few days we kept getting good news. We were told that her right eye muscle is not working properly and that if not treated she will go blind in her right eye. Right now she's wearing an eye patch on her left eye for aprox 15 minutes a day. She will go back to see the eye dr at the end of the month and we'll discuss the next steps. In the mean time with the eye patches we're also praying over her that the Lord will Heal her eye. We know he can, as he did so much with her during the first 8 days of her life. One day 8 she was released and we brought our beautiful baby girl home!

We had so many people help us with our other 4 kids, help with meals, and so many prayer warriors. There is no way to properly thank all of them. It's so humbling to know so many people are praying for your child and for you. I'm so thankful that God brought so many people into our lives and so many of those people were having their friends, family, and church pray for our Olivia Joy.

We know without a doubt that the Lord has great things planned for this little girl. We're so blessed to be her parents and get to see what he does with her!

Olivia Joy right after she was born ( as you can see her coloring is not great)

Olivia Joy on the CPAP machine which worked her sweet lungs so hard that she ended up with a slight tear and leak in her lung and had her lung collapse...her coloring is better here too because she got red blood cells transfusion (the infection she was fighting caused her rbc's to drop significantly)

The first time I got to hold her in two days...was so thankful

First time in 2 days Daddy got to hold his baby girl
Olivia Joy is home!! Noah was being silly and had her pacifier (which she no longer takes) and was chewing on it, Jacob, Emma, Olivia, and Jackson