Here I Go (Again)

I have fallen off the wagon so to speak. I've not been running in far too long and started drinking stupid dr. pepper again. I have one left and then no more and tomorrow the running will start up again. With drinking the pop, I've been craving the sweet, a great deal more than when I was running. I'm so tired of this ridiculous cycle. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. We have an eliptical that I'm going to drag inside tomorrow and on my off days of running or on rainy really hard days, this is what I'll work out on. I have big changes in eating that are about to start and once I start it, I'll blog about it, because I need the accountability and hopefully the encouragement.

I can say that without a doubt working out really effects my mood. I've been honestly really sad lately, find myself not feeling sorry for myself, just not overwhelmed in all the joy that is my life. I want to be clear that I'm not depressed, just find myself feeling sad or blah more often than I like. I have a husband who loves me, beautiful, funny, smart children who are all in different fun and challenging stages...I want to enjoy all of it. I find myself grumpy and yelling more than I like, more than is necessary by any means, and find myself just flying off the handle over little stuff. So...here I go, again. I recognize that excercising and eating right has a huge impact on me emotionally as well as physically, so I MUST do this. I can't quit, ever. I know that my weight will be a fight for me for the rest of my life, if I don't stay on top of things. My biggest prayer over all of this is that I don't get a dellusional image of my body when I have reached my goal weight/size. I have seen it happen to people who've lost a lot of weight like I need to. They get to a healthy weight and size and then keep going to a point that they're unhealthy on the otherside. So, I'm ready to get healthy and stay healthy. I'm ready to be healthy physically as well as mentally/emotionally.

I know that part of my emotional well being is being in the Lords word daily, multiple times a day. I have been feeling the Lord reminding me that I must be in his word every day and I must be in it on my own, as well as with my children.

So, here I go. Tomorrow's my day.