Monday, August 30, 2010

Shape of you

I admit it I watched the Emmy's tonight, but in my defense there was nothing else on and I've had a yuck sort of a day and needed to watch something truly mindless (and we all know that's what the Emmy's is...mindless). Anyways, Jewel sang this song she wrote about her friend who died from cancer and wow it just grabbed my heart. I made me instantly think of Jordyn and my beautiful friend Rebekah.

Friday, August 27, 2010


Chad's been home since Wednesday and although he's got a long road ahead of him as far as recovery goes, he's home and we feel so blessed for that gift. Our life is so full of blessings, even in the storms that cross through our life. I have my husband who's alive and walking and that's a miracle. Everyone who has seen the humvee he was in have all said the same thing...."I don't know how you guys made it out of that thing alive". It's pretty well flattened. The driver crawled out a little bruised and cut, and with a minor concussion. Chad crawled out of there with a broken bone, torn vertabrae, and fractured sternum. The surgeon told him that had he been a smaller guy his back would have been broken and he'd be paralyzed. You see, he's a miracle...a walking miracle and I feel so blessed that he's still here with me.

Tomorrow my sweet Jackson will be turning 7 years old. How quickly the years are going. He's a lot like me in many ways. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He can be shy, yet he's outgoing. He loves to sing (and write his own songs). His heart is with Jesus so completely, although he doesn't feel like he's ready to be baptised (he is oh he so is!). He used to roll his "t's" yes you read that right..his "t's" LOL I just love it, he doesn't do it now unless asked. He will say "I love you" anytime and doesn't get embarrassed or shy about that! He loves fully and completely. He does not like to play soccer (lol). He embarrasses easily. He's Jackson....and he owns my heart.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Still Breathing

I breathe in, I breathe out, and drop to my knee's and pray. That's been my last week and a half. To think it all started with a phone call from Chad telling me in was in a horrible wreck that we soon discovered was pretty amazing he survived, much less got out of and was walking. Then to find out it was a miracle that he didn't become paralyzed by walking after the accident because of a torn 8th vertabrae. GOD has shown us miracles with Chad. He's coming home today (it's after midnight in Germany, so he's coming home TODAY!!!). To think that a week ago he had surgery and I sat here praying and waiting for word that all went well. He came out of surgery so loopy that I couldn't help but laugh at him. I came home and after getting the kids to bed, got online and chatted with my friend Rebekah who was in the hospital for surgery to have her spleen removed in hopes of it putting her into remission against ITP, only surgery never happened, instead she went that night and met face to face our Lord, Jesus.

The last week and a half seems so surreal. Did this all really happen to our family and to one of my dearest friends and her family? How can this be? I know all of this was determined by GOD, that our father's hand was in every part and I know that it's for his GLORY, every single part of it. I can absolutely praise him for Chad's outcome and have and will continue to. I praise GOD that Rebekah is no longer in pain, but praying for us left behind. Her beautiful 2 sons, her sister, brother, niece and nephew, her parents, her estranged husband who's now left to raise two boys who has been recently rebuilding a relationship with them in the last few months. I don't understand the why's of our Lord taking Bekah home, but I know it's for his Glory and I'm trying so very hard to simply praise him for it, vs continuing to ask why.

Tomorrow as our family celebrates Chad's return home, Rebekah's boys will be preparing for her funeal and saying goodbye to their Momma. Please be in prayer for her boys. Her dad and brother are there with them, and then on Friday her body will be sent to NC where her parents live, where she grew up and next week they'll have a funeral there for their family, friends, and bury her there. My heart is heavy and aching. I miss my friend so much. My nights will never feel complete without chatting with her, saying goodnight, and I love you to her. I'm so thankful that the last words I typed to her was "I love you". She knew how I felt about her and the last words she typed to me were "I love you" and I know how much she cared about me. I was blessed to have had her friendship for the last 11 1/2 years. I'm blessed to know that her faith was with Jesus and that she's in Heaven.

Blessed Assurance

Blessèd assurance, Jesus is mine!

O what a foretaste of glory divine!

Heir of salvation, purchase of God,

Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.


This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior, all the day long;

This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior, all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,

Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;

Angels descending bring from above

Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.


Perfect submission, all is at rest

I in my Savior am happy and blest,

Watching and waiting, looking above,

Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.


Thursday, August 19, 2010

I Don't Want This

This has been the 2nd worst week of my life and I want it to stop, to be a nightmare and I'm ready to wake up....oh please let me wake up. First Chad in his horrible accident (who's had surgery, it went well, and he's slowly starting on the road to recovery) to finding out that this morning one of my best friends, someone who I chat with nearly every single day, has died. My dear sweet friend Rebekah had been battling ITP, which is a platelett disease. She did chemo for 8 weeks and it did not work, so they decided she'd have her spleen removed. She was admitted Monday for testing, surgery was scheduled for Wednesday. She passed out Wednesday morning, and they did a CT Scan which showed up clear. They rescheduled her surgery for Friday. Last night she started having trouble breathing, so they did a XRay and found she had multiple pulmonary embolisms. They immediately started her on a drug to treat them, she coded and after trying to get her back they were not able to. This just does not feel real. I mean how could it? How could she just been gone like that? No time to say goodbye. I told her goodnight and that I loved her last night as we ended our conversation, she's not supposed to be gone.
She was a Christian and I believe she's with Jesus. I'm selfish. I want her back, not in Heaven yet. She has two little boys still to raise. She has a degree to finish. I wanted to see her again. Oh I want this to not be real.
I love her and I miss her. She was an amazing woman. A woman who's faith and trust was in Jesus Christ. Who did everything she could for her children. Who had dreams and goals and was going against all odds to make them come true.

I never dreamed she'd be gone so young, so quickly. She's not even been gone 24 hours and I miss her so much.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Update on Chad

Today's update:

Chad had a MRI this morning and it showed that the 11th vertabrae is fine, but his 8th is torn. On Wednesday he'll have surgery on his shoulder and on his back to fix the vertabrae. His sternum will heal on its own. His pain is being managed better today, with thanks to some good drugs and an AWESOME GOD. The surgeon said he will be walking on Thursday and should be going on early next week.

We do absolutely know who the ultimate healer is and have been praising him through all of it and will continue to praise him. I could have easily lost my husband in this accident and those who have seen the humvee since the accident are not sure how him and his driver even got out of it because it's pretty well flattened, and that was after just one flip and going aprox 25 mph. This could have been much worse, but we praise JESUS for her mercies and protections.

The other soldier was released from the hospital. I do not have any other info yet other than he'd suffered a concussion. We're hoping to talk to him tomorrow to just check and see how he's doing and make sure he knows we are not blaming him. It was an accident and we know he obviously never intended this and do not want him ate up with guilt over this. We know GOD knew this would happen and his mercies were on them both. They easily could have met our Savior.

I will update either Wednesday or Thursday on how his surgery went. Please be in prayer for continued healing and pain management and for Chad's surgeon on Wednesday as he performs Chad's surgery.

In Christ Alone

Sunday, August 15, 2010

My Husband was in a Serious Accident

Please be in prayer for my husband. He was in a serious accident last night. The humvee he was a passenger in flipped and rolled. Chad's clavicle bone (shoulder) is broken. His sternum is fractured, and they believe his 8th and 11th vertabrae's are fractured. He's in a great deal of pain. He is scheduled for surgery tomorrow to place a rod in his shoulder. He's supposed to have a MRI on his back and hopefully they'll be able to determine if the vertabrae's are indeed fractured or not. I am not sure what the plan is for her sternum. He was out in the field, which is a little over an hour away from the Army post we're stationed at, so he's at a hospital a little over an hour away. Not sure how long they expect he'll have to stay. If it's longer than a week, I'm going to request that he be moved to our local hospital.

I will do my best to update on here when I can. Thank you ahead of time for any and all prayers.

The soldier driving (and only other one in the humvee) as far as we know has a concusion. He was sent to a different hospital that deals with head trauma's. Please be in prayer for him as well.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Loneliness is a funny thing. Even when you are surrounded by people, even when you talk to friends daily...there can still be a deep in the heart loneliness. People probably don't know how deep this is inside of me. I don't know who else is feeling such deep loneliness, you're in my prayers because I know how much it hurts.

I'm lonely.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Willow Tree Giveaway

Kathryn over at Singing in the Rain
is doing a give away of the above Willow Tree Figurine. Now granted I hope I win her, but it's always fun to have others join in. Plus Kathryn has a fabulous blog and she's a brand new 1st time Momma to beautiful Adam!

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Our Sweet Emma Grace turned 3 today (well it's after midnight in Germany so I should say yesterday). She had a fabulous day...started off with her favorite Dora and cinnimon pancakes, dropping Jacob off for play practice, home and I made her birthday cake (she requested Strawberry and I used a cream cheese icing so I could at least eat a little without gagging...I don't like icing). After lunch (I made one of our favorite pizza's....Chicken,Bacon, tomatoe, ranch's yummy and easy to make!) we had cake and ice cream, and then she opened her presents. I can't believe my girl is 3 years old. I've never had a little girl turn 3, Jordyn was only 2 when she went to Heaven, so we've entered unchartered territory. Sure the boys have been 3, but anyone who has boys and girls, you know there are MAJOR differences, so I'm praying for a gentle transition for her!

Here's a little slide show from last night and today....

Happy Birthday Emma Grace, Mommy loves you and thank GOD he allowed you to grow in my womb, in my heart, and in my arms. You are such an amazing blessing. You keep me and the rest of our family (and even friends) on our toes. You call yourself a Princess, because you are a princess. You're OUR PRINCESS and we adore you.

Happy Birthday,