12 Months

We're at the 12 month mark. Can I just tell you that I FEEL it? I feel like my husband's been deployed for 12 months. I feel like I've been going at this on my own for 12 months. I feel like I'm at my wits end and honestly not sure how I'm going to do it for 6 more weeks. Honestly I'm so very, very, very thankful we don't have to do the full 3 extra months. Some of you may think "well it's just 3 more months, big deal you've done 12" well let me tell you it's a HUGE DEAL. Walk a year in my shoes and let me know how reasonable you feel about 3 MORE months, or eve 6 more weeks?



I'm not "strong", I'm not "amazing", I'm also not a woman who thrives on being independent from my husband. I feel strongly that biblically we're called to be a help mate to our husband's. That we're to NOT be the head of the household, that is our husband's job. May I tell you that when they deploy, those lines get rather blurred at times. How do you not become the head of your home when he's gone and you're left to do it on your own? If there's other Christian Army wives out there, that have figured this out, seriously please share your secret. Chad calls almost daily, I share with him the daily struggles if the kids are misbehaving or something has happened. (I with Chad don't think it helps them ANY to not share when things aren't going perfectly. He WANTS to know. Sometimes he actually does have an answer for the problem of the day!!!). Anyways, it's a struggle for me.



We are seeing the light of this long deployment. We have officially surpassed all other deployments. It is a way of life at this point, but I'm not enjoying it much. I love my children and enjoy them all all that they bring to my life. As a whole though, I miss and long for my husband. I don't want to be a single parent and although I'm not, often we're placed in that situation. There are times I have to make decisions that I'd never make without his input if he were here. There are times that I just want to curl up in a ball and cry and stay in bed all day long. I can't though. I have to get up and make the most of our days and just get through them.



I'm trying to focus on what we have in front of us. This is our last week of school I decided. So next week I'm going to take the kids to Playmobil for a day of fun and celebration that school is out. I am planning on taking them swimming one day in the next week or two as well. We're going to start going on daily walks and bike rides, and we'll continue daily reading for both boys. We'll go to Tuckerland's too (an indoor play place). Hopefully the temps get warmer, so we can start going to the outdoor pool too. I don't want to overwhelm us with activities, but want to make life fun and help the time go by as quickly as possible until Chad's home. The 2nd full week of June the kids and I are heading to Italy! I'm excited! We'll be spending our days at the beach, playing in the ocean! We will go to Pisa, since it's about 15 minutes away. I'm debating if we'll go to Florence or not, just depends on my mood you could say! :)

Thank you for the prayers over the last 12 months, we definitely still need them for the next 6 weeks. I think they'll be are longest and hardest in many ways.