Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Complicated endings

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle a person who's hurt me deeply. We've already talked about the hurts. I had unintentionally and unknowingly hurt her as well. We talked, face to face. We both cried, we both asked for forgiveness and gave it. We hugged, smiled, and even laughed. I thought that although things would take time to get back to where it had been, that it'd get there. I believe I was wrong. We live on a SMALL Army post in Germany, small. We are involved in many of the same activities. Our children love each other and my kids care about HER and her husband and her kids care about Chad and I. I still love on her kids, hug them, everything I've always done. But there's a wall and I have been praying for God's wisdom on this situation and he so far has been silent on the matter. I truly am just not sure what do.
She's not a bad person, just the opposite she's a good person with her own faults of course. She's loved and admired by many.

I just am at a loss here. I've had friendships who run their course and in a way it seems that's where we are at, but normally friendships that do that, you're not around each other often. It just feels so uncomfortable to me. I have no doubt Gods teaching me something in that uncomfortable feeling.

I am sad that the friendship seems to be over. I'd truly thought we'd be able to weather this small storm that we went through. It's hard. I wish I could pinpoint if I've unintentionally done something else to her, but the reality is we've hardly spoken since our conversation of getting everything out into the open. When her name is brought up, I normally smile, say something nice.

It's a lot easier to let a friendship drift off, when they move away or you do. When you're both here though, it's a lot tougher. Through writing this, I feel like God's telling me to let her go. Pray that I can be obedient and let go gently and just be still in Gods love and comfort.


That corgi :) said...

Deep down in your heart, Christy, have you fully forgiven her? Or are you still carrying some of it with you? I think you are wise in thinking God is telling you to let it go. Maybe not just the friendship but any feelings you still might be dealing with. I think too, you might be already doing this, pray that she will be incredibly blessed by God. I know when I have had struggles with people especially over words they have said, praying for blessings helps me to deal with my own thinking about them (if this makes any sense). Strangely, Christy, I can so relate to what you are going through. I finally let go something someone said to me years before; though I never let this person know how hurtful the words were to me but this was someone within my extended family so whenever we got together, I carried those words with me and it did affect our relationship, Sadly because of circumstances, we don't have a chance to build a better one. There might be a chance here with you and your friend. I think I would let it go, pray for her, pray for wisdom, and gracefully try to continue to treat her/family with the love Jesus would want you to extend to her and allow God to work. I'm sure it will be a beautiful thing in how he works, though it might take time to see it all come together.

I will pray for you.


Beth in NC said...

Hi Christy,

Of course be obedient to the Lord, but unless she is a bad influence I would be surprised that God would call a friendship to sever. He is such a God of reconciliation. Friendships have seasons, that's for sure, but it sounds like there is still hurt between you two.

Why don't you ask her to come over and share your heart with her. Share how much you love her and don't want the two of you to feel uncomfortable around each other?

I know you can overcome this chasm. And it is horrible to feel uncomfortable when you see someone. I hate that feeling.

I pray you'll have peace and wisdom in this situation. (((hugs)))