I don't feel God in my life right now. A friend this morning at PWOC (bible study) said this may be a time where he's carrying you. I don't know. I hope so. I just don't know.
I need HIM, more than anyone else and yet I feel alone, abandoned, tossed aside. Where are you, Father? I want to feel loved. I want to feel that I matter to you. I know you died on a cross for me, for my sins, because you love me that much. I SHOULD feel loved. Oh GOD, please hear the cries of my heart.
Please help me out of this dark place. I truly feel Satan circling me and feel him winning in my life. I want the tears to stop, I want the hopelessness to leave my heart. I am so desperate for you, please don't leave me. I have not felt this lost since Jordyn died. I feel like David's Psalms are all across me, his cries for you.
I am tired of being so lonely. Tired of being so sad. Tired of feeling so unloved. One day this will be over. I don't want to just get through this life. I really do want to live it. I just don't know how to right now. I miss you.
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