Blessed

Tonight has been such a great example of how blessed I am! My friend Heather who many of you prayed for this past spring through summer and I have spent most the evening going back and forth calling each other. She makes me laugh so hard, to know that she knows the Kid Rock song, cracks me up. She's a good Southern girl, who's husband is a chaplain.
I'm having an antique Polish shrunk/hutch brought home on Tuesday. Heather's husband, B's husband, my friend A's husband and my downstairs neighbor are all helping to accomplish that and to get rid of this heavy old desk and bring over B's "old" (but far newer than what we have right now) desk. How blessed am I?

God has surrounded me with all these amazing women and I've never had this before, to this extent. Since we moved to Germany God has placed one friend in my life after another and I just am awestruck to be honest. I'm losing my best friend here, and she's concerned more about me than herself, which just speaks of one of the millions of reasons I love that girl. Then A who's leaving next month is concerned about me and her other friends who she's leaving behind. Heather's staying put for now and I'm so happy! If you knew her, you'd love her too! I am just astonished at just how many women I know who've wrapped their arms around me knowing how hard B leaving is on me. I've been so focused on how sad I am and what I am losing, that I've been blinded to see just all that I will have left. Let me tell you, I have more than I deserve in the friends that will remain. I have friends who will watch my children at the drop of a hat, who'll bring soup over to me with just one phone call, if I need it, I just need to ask. They love me for me. They know me and still love me and let me tell you that's impressive in my book! I'm pretty much an open book on most things.

I'm done whining and complaining about my friends moving. This is a part of the Army life and it's hard yes, but God's provided for me. He knows I have other friends waiting in the wings to wrap me up in their arms and reassure me that I am NOT alone. That I don't have to finish out this deployment without friendship, support, and love. How in the world could I have lost sight of that?

I talked to Chad tonight too. Oh that man is so wonderful! God just blesses me in every direction let me tell you! He's been kind of down in the dumps lately too. I've asked people to pray for him and oh he HAS been surrounded in prayer let me tell you! He sounded just so full of joy tonight. I could just hear his smile! Do you know what that does for my heart? To know my man has God fighting for him and showing him the joy he has in his life, even in Iraq?!!! If you're one who's been praying for him, THANK YOU! Don't stop! But thank you! He told me he truly FEELS those prayers surrounding him! Oh how blessed we are!

I think Emma's finally on the mend. I will say I say that with a little trepidation, but she ate dinner tonight. No fever and a lot of smiles. Whew! Thank you for praying for my baby girl. The boys are both in good spirits too! They were being crazy, silly kids when I was talking to Chad and him hearing the craziness of our family was making him laugh! It brought me such joy. I often get so caught up in the craziness, I forgot to appreciate it! I don't want to take these moments for granted. They're blessed times and I know that.

So with that, tell me, what are your blessings? I know many of you do Thankful Thursdays, so it can go along those lines, but it's more than that...what are you so overwhelmingly blessed with in your life? None of us deserve these blessings, yet God's allowed us to have them none the less, so share, please. I love to read about other people's blessings!

Brighter Day

Last night was a dark night for me. When I initially started writing last night it was on how blessed I was, and look at how quickly Satan took that and made it into something heart-wrenching and full of sorrow. Well maybe it wasn't heart wrenching to any of you, but it was to me as I poured out my heart and could not even see the screen because of the tears.

The thing is though, I still have those moments, those days where my heart is just pulled outside of me, stomped on, and shoved back inside, with a little twist. It's been 8 years, 8 years since I last held Jordyn, the child who made me a mother, the one who showed me just how far I could go with love (to the ends of the earth), and just how love never dies...ever.

There's obvious regrets, but there's so many more blessings. Jordyn was God's shining moment in my life. If he's ever been more obvious in my life, I totally missed it...because for me she was the crown jewel. He showed me just how deeply I could love as well as hurt...most of all how much I could trust in him. He didn't answer my prayers the way I WANTED, but he answered them none the less (that answer btw was no). He did though keep her safe. I know she's loved and well taken care of and not a day goes by that I have to worry about her. She's with Jesus!

Sometimes we have to go through the darkness of the night to see just how bright the morning really is. Last night was a VERY dark night, and God's shown me once again just how brightly he can and does shine.

You see he's blessed me beyond all measures. He allowed me to have Jordyn, even if for a short moment. I can promise you this, even knowing the ending....sure I'd have changed some details there, but even if it was the same ending...I'd have done it all over again, because those 2 yrs 1 month and 8 days were the most blessed days of my life. God's blessed me with an amazing husband who puts up with far more than he deserves. He's given me grace over and over. He loves me like no man can love. God's given me 3 other children (so far) and they're amazing. He gave me Jacob when he knew without a doubt a girl would not have been in my (or Chad's) best interest. He gave us Jack, to show us he knew exactly what he was doing and it was HIS will NOT ours. He gave us Emma, after such deep prayer and telling him the desires of my heart. What is in the future is not for me to worry about. Will he allow us more children, I do not know. I do know that he'll continue to show me all the wonders of this world, as long as I keep seeking him.

I am So Blessed, even in my darkest moments.