Thursday, June 05, 2008

Dicipline & Love

First for those of you who are bloggers here did you notice the changes? I like that I don't have to go and dig a little deeper to control my comments and backlinks. Now back to my regular posting.

Often as a mother I find I am falling on my face with mistakes that I've made left and right. It's not easy parenting and anyone who thinks it is either has no children or the child that's just so complient you don't really qualify as a parent to begin with. See I'm constantly messing up. I question if I'm truly being a Godly example as a mother to my children, am I being a good example as a wife to them, so that one day when the boys pick a wife and Emma becomes one, they know what to look for and what to do or not to do.

Today we walked with my friend to the school to pick up her son and then go to the book sale they're having. All the books were half off, so it's the one to go to. I gave both boys $5.00 and told them to get what ever they like. Jack picked one thing that was 4.00 and Jacob being the thrifty boy he is, managed to pick 3 items with .75 more cents from me that I told him he'd have to pay me back for. I then picked each boy out another book as well as got Emma 2 books. Jack was out in the hall with my friend while I was helping Jacob and paying for the surprise books and Emma's. Once done I went out and gave Jack his other book, which Jacob had helped me pick out and he started an attitude. I gave him a chance to correct his attitude or he was losing the item he'd purchased himself, until he could stop and be kind and grateful. (Side note, Jacob was VERY kind and grateful..whew!). No, instead his attitude got worse. I had to take the item he bought away and told him if he could act nice and apologize he could have it back. Nope, here it came. A fully out temper tantrum. This child is almost 5 and there he was throwing a fit like a 2 yr old. I went against my instinct (which was to swat that behind) and instead sat him down outside on a step and got down to his level and attempted to talk to him. He was having none of it. The crying continued, the ugly attitude went on. The walk home was joyful let me tell you. I'm sure the Lord was looking down at me and shaking his head. The temptation to swat him was great, trust me. I'm NOT a mom who's against spankings. I truly and firmly believe it's required at times and I also can see a generation of children who have parents who don't do it and see a great deal of those children who are just simply out of control. Many of them are also not taught respect of each other, authority, etc and the attitude coming from them is enough to make my head spin (Sassy sauce people!). Either way, there I was going against my instinct and was being far more patient with him than he deserved. My friend who was with me said "I think I'd have spanked him at least 10 times, good job on keeping it cool". The fact is that although I'm fine with spanking, I aslo know there's a time for it and a time when it's just not going to help. This was one of those times. So we finally get home and I have him sit in front of me on the ottoman and we talk. He's calmed down, I'm calm (still...MIRACLE FROM GOD I tell you!) and we talk about his temper tantrum, what he should have done, I make him apologize, and he understands that he will not be getting any of his books until tomorrow.

After it was all said and done, I sit here now hours later and think of how I'm anything but our Lord, and please know I'm NOT comparing myself. But how often is he patient with us? How often does he bend us over his knee and give us a swat? God knows when to do which disciplinary action with us, being human parents it's absolutely necessary to find that out ourselves. There's a time for both and finding the balance is not always easy. It's really easy to reach and tap that tush as it's walking (or stomping) past you vs sitting down calmly talking. There's also times when sitting down and talking is just not going to cut it as the only discipline.
I'm also trying to get more creative in my discipline. I'm making them sweat off some punishment...aka they're scrubbing walls and floors with a rag and their hands (and on their knee's as it may be). It gives them a little time to "think" and well my walls don't have their dirty little hand prints on them! LOL

It's absolutely not easy being a parent and I'm only parenting 3 little ones (God's got Jordyn all taken care of up in Heaven!) can you imagine God's position? He has every single one of us. The love he has for us, even the ones who have turned their back on him, he loves them.
I'm a child who breaks his heart I'm sure daily, yet he keeps loving me anyways. I have to be like him with my children. I have to be gentle but firm, and most of all forgiving. The biggest thing though is that I NEED God. I can't do this job wtihout him.


Michelle said...

Hi Christy. I am so thankful that we have God to help us raise our children.

You had asked if I go to PWOC, I have gone her at Leavenworth while we have been here and went when we lived at Polk. Both were very good and I have learned so much and have had so much support. I plan to drive the 30 minutes every week to go at Stewart because I know I need it. They have it at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah which is close to where we will live, but they only do it every other week and I have heard that it is a much smaller group. I may try it out to see for myself. The huge thing with moving is finding a church. I see good possibilities, but it usually takes visiting a few to find a home.

Have you applied to become a member so you can have access to the message board at ? If not, you should. I spend a lot of time there, but it is a very possitive and upbeat Christian invironment. I posted a blog in the blog area of the message board yesterday in the category - Raising Christian kids. If you have time, please go read it.

Hugs and God Bless. I am thankful always for the friends that bring Christian support.

Your Friend in Christ,