Thursday, November 19, 2009

Secrets how I despise thee

Does the title say it all? I don't like secrets. I think they hurt people, destroy relationships, and when it's in a group setting, it destroys trust and moral.
In the last many months, certain people that I am around keep having secrets. It's a board that I'm on and have been on this particular board 4 times with various people, in various situations. There have been tensions on the board in the past, especially a couple years ago when 2 of them disliked each other so completely. But here's the thing, it was NO SECRET. They didn't like each other and the other knew about that mutual feelings of dislike, like I said it was not a secret. It made for some tense meetings at times, but there was no guessing.
This year though, I can say personally I've not enjoyed being on the board and am right now praying whether I'll be staying or not. Yes I made a committment, but at what price. I came home today and my stomach was such a mess, and I just found myself so emotional and so drained. I haven't talked to Chad about it yet, we'll talk tonight. I'm just truly disheartened and frustrated, and wondering why the need for secrets, especially when the secrets are over things so petty, other than what I personally view as being a control issue. Had I realized how things were going to be, I'd have never applied for this position, never accepted it.
Will you pray for me as I seek GOD's will here and search for his guidance in this decision.




5 comments:

Linda said...

It's disheartening to hear this, as I'm pretty sure what board you're talking about. Good Christian people shouldn't be this way.

CINDY said...

Your in my prayers. Relax, don't get over stressed ok. (((hugs))))

Janis said...

Praying for you! :)

Amanda said...

Sorry sweet girl... like you need to deal with OTHERS peoples drama! Goodness. Love to you!

AManda

Barbara said...

Some secrets hurt when they are being kept, other hurt when they become known....but secrets always result in hurt.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.