Crying Out

I'm truly curious how many people hide their true feelings, how many skip the little and even the big details of their life happenings, because it really doesn't feel like anyone, besides GOD cares. He's the only one that ultimately matters the most, yet I think we ALL desire to have others not only listen to the big, little, and mundane things in our life...but to CARE and actually WANT to hear about it all.
I don't want to have a pity party here, I want to be really honest. I feel really, really lonely. I started thinking about this last night and it's just eating at me. Chad's not asked me any details on how my week went last week. I will give him the benefit of insanity. He took on the huge task of changing rooms and we're still literally in the midst of that decision of moving toys, laundry, and other effects between the two rooms, as well as getting laundry done that's out of control, etc. Yet, to be completely honest it hurts that he has not asked me once. I've had a couple friends ask how it went, yet maybe it's just me, but it doesn't feel like they really want to know all the details. I know this is Satan, telling me "you're not important. Nothing you have to say really means that much. Other people are far more interesting, intelligent, funny, beautiful, kind, honest, pure, lovely. You are none of those things." I get that those are from Satan. I know it, but wow it's hard to push him out. I keep praying to HEAR GOD tell me that I'm "loved, important, wonderfully made"...I'm struggling to hear him right now. I often feel like I'm in this battle alone. I often feel like I'm supposed to be the person that everyone can come to, but that I get to share a little and then it's time to shut up. Or I find myself being honest say on facebook and then getting slammed by someone who's not spoken to me hardly at all since college (we went to high school together), telling me how wrong my walk is with Christ and how she has 2 Christian friends who do it right because they don't share OUTLOUD their walk, but do it quietly and how when I'm honest and yes even maybe ugly in my opinions, that I'm just not showing I'm a "good Christian". Let me just say this: "Ouch". She doesn't know me, but takes my 2 strong opinions that I've shared and just shoved my face and my heart right into the ground and then stomped all over it. It's made ME feel that I have to be one way or I'm dettering someone's walk with Christ. I don't EVER want to be a person that pushes someone away from Christ, yet part of me really wants to ask "when do YOU take responsibility for your OWN WALK?" Maybe I'm wrong, most likely I am wrong in that thought, in that opinion.

I am crying out to JESUS right now. I long for him. I ache for him. I want to feel him close to me. I want to know I'm not alone in this life, especially when I feel so alone (like right now).