Saturday, February 19, 2011

9 months/6 months

Today's a bittersweet day. The Sweet is that Noah's 9 months old today. Wow how has time gone by so quickly? 9 months. They're formed and grow and are born in 9 months and here he is....God formed a beautiful, happy, funny, loving, loved little baby boy who's adored and cherished in ways that are just unspeakable. How quickly they go from these little bundles that do nothing but sleep and eat and cuddle in just that right spot on your chest and in the nape of your neck, to cruising the furniture and crawling at the speed of lightening. Who do everything they can inbetween the times of sleeping and eating and making the most of all those moments. Such beautiful moments they are, but wow are they on the go! Here's a widely known secret (so I guess that doesn't make it a secret huh! ) I hold my babies as much as I possibly can. I don't lay them on the floor much, because I don't want them to be mobile for as long as possible. Here's the reality...once they're mobile you're constantly chasing, you making sure your older children have picked up the lego's, twigs that the stupid dog drug in, that got caught on his coat, because you know that the little one is fast as can be to pick up any and everything and stick it into his mouth. They're pulling up, walking along the furniture, losing their grip and balance and falling and bumping the head...the olders are running and acting like it's the end of the world, which in turn makes that baby cry harder,louder, longer. But you know what, I wouldn't want to miss a moment. I love each moment, even when I feel like I'm constantly walking throughout the rooms picking up the lego's and stupid twigs from the stupid dog (can you all guess who I'm not liking right now???? ) Anyways....time flies by too fast. So, I literally hold my babies as long as possible. I don't wish any of this time away. Sure there are nights when he's up until 4 AM because of gas, because a certain momma was stupid and ate something that's not digesting in his properly (oops..BUT lesson learned!). Even when I'm dog tired and have tears streaming down my face because I'm so exhausted and know that in only a couple short hours the older kids will be up ready for breakfast and ready to start their school day....I cherish it. I know that these moments are fewer and fewer and in a blink of an eye Noah's going to be 10 years old like his big brother and I'm going to long for these moments of rocking and nursing and cuddling over eye rolls, stomping, mubling and having to discipline for disrepect and having to talk about how he's breaking a commandment (Honoring They Mother and Father). I don't think Noah's our last, but reality is I don't know what the Lord has prepared for us in the future. I know that my heart doesn't say we're done, Chad's definitely doesn't (he's ready to have another NOW...personally I'm ok with waiting another year, but I trust the Lord!). So with that....Happy 9 month birthday my sweet Noah James. Mommy loves you so very much.

Sweet Noah in the hospital just a couple days old

Noah James...Feb 2011....on a mission: crawling and pulling up with 2 little teeth and the most beautiful blue eyes.

Now to the "bitter". Six months ago my best friend Rebekah went home to the Lord. I do rejoice she's with him....but oh how I miss her. I can't believe it's been 6 months since we last chatted. It was about this time 6 months ago we said "goodnight, talk to you tomorrow. Love you" I never dreamt that tomorrow would not come for her. I never thought her life would end at 33 years old. I never thought that the man who couldn't be bothered and who had readily admitted that the reason he didn't want to be married was because he didn't want to be a FATHER, is now fully responsible raising their two little boys. 11 almost 12 years and 9 years was not enough time for them to have their Momma, yet it was all the time GOD deemed for all of them. Oh how my heart aches. I look at Noah and think that the day he turned 3 months old, she was about to meet her Lord. I'm in close contact with her mom and sister. They are hurting and I know the hurt and pain her Mom is feeling all too well. To grasp that your child's been gone for 6 months/half a year is sometimes just so much to bare. I'm so thankful they all know our Lord. They know she's in Heaven, I KNOW she's in Heaven. How she loved our Lord. I still miss her. I still ache for her boys (actually I'm in such worry for them, but fighting hard to completely trust that the Lord is taking care of them). I don't know I'll ever "understand" why on August 19 GOD called her home. I believe all these sorts of questions will make sense when we get to Heaven. Actually I don't think we'll care, because we'll be with our Lord, that gives me peace. I miss talking to her everyday. It's still hard to grasp that I'll never get to. I still find myself wanting to share things and thinking "oh I will tell Rebekah, she'll love it, understand, etc". Please pray for her boys and her family and her other friends.
Until we meet again my beautiful friend.......


Cheryl said...

Beautiful baby and a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry that you miss your special friend.

With love and Hope,

Missie said...

Beautiful baby pictures. Sending you hugs long distancet too.

Amanda said...

Such highs and lows. Cant believe how big your little baby is! He is just gorgeous. :)