Last Day On Earth

So as I was skimming myspace I was on Steven Curtis Chapman's site, he's one of my favorites and he's been around for so many years that there are many songs of his that I've not heard and this is one of them. These lyrics just gripped my heart...I'll go on more after the lyrics are posted:


Last Day on Earth
Verse 1:
I pull over to the side of the road
And I watch the cars pass me by
The headlights and the black limousines tell me
Someone is saying goodbye
I bow my head and I whisper a prayer, "Father, comfort their broken hearts"
And as I drive away there's a thought that I
I cannot escape, no I, cannot escape this thought I can't get away

Chorus:
Oh, if this should be my last day on this earth
How then shall I live?
Oh, if this should be the last day that I have Before I breathe the air of Heaven
Let me live it with abandon to
The only thing that remains
AFter my last day here on earth

Verse 2:
If this should be my last day here on earth
If this should be my last day here on earth
If this should be my last, last day here on earth
And if tomorrow comes to find me Looking in the face of Jesus
Will I hear Him say the words "well done"?
If this should be my last day here on earth
If this should be my last, my last day here on earth
Cause if this could be my last, this could be my last
This could be my last day


Yesterday the sermon was about not worrying about tomorrow, but instead focusing on today. (Sorry drawing a blank right now on the verse). Then this morning I get online and find Emily-Really Living online and she'd just updated her blog and what is it about...the same thing. We chatted for a while, then she finally went to bed so she could get up and go to her first day of work (be in prayer for her today and well everyday). But I heard God. I've really been focusing on "tomorrow" for me my tomorrow is Friday and the week to follow. The birth of our daughter and the week I'm going to be in the hospital. I've been getting anxious (I know we're not to be anxious over anything) over her being healthy. I want her to be healthy not only for her or me, but for Emily. I have been in deep prayer and done quite a bit of worrying over this in the last couple of days and ultimately she's in God's hands and when she's born, God already has that taken care of and all I need to do is trust him. I need to remember that HE has this already taken care of, he knows what is ahead of us and that is not my responsiblity to worry about it. I'm to simply trust him and as a human, a mom, a wife, a sinner...I do struggle with that. Thank you to our chaplain and to Emily for reminding me of God's promise and instruction that tomorrow will take care of itself and that I just need to focus on today.

I think we live in a world where we're constantly looking to tomorrow. What IF today is our last day? I've said it since Jordyn died...tomorrow is NOT promised, not even for our children. I need a reminder of that myself. I can preach it, but I don't always live it. What do I expect Jesus to say to me if tomorrow doesn't come here on this earth and instead I wake up in Heaven? How I live today is what matters. I can't change yesterday, I don't know what is to come in the future...all I can do is live today. God gave us each free will, so how are we using that free will? Are we using it to Glorify God? I can tell you today has not been the most glorified day. I've been moody. I've been ugly towards my husband and my children. I've focused on how uncomfortable I am vs how blessed I am. I've looked at how much my back hurts vs how blessed I am to even be able to FEEL discomfort.

So for the rest of today, I'm going to focus on living it for Christ. Glorifying him through my words as well as my actions. If today is my last day on earth, I want it to count for something other than an ugly day, of moody pregnancy hormones.