Monday, July 30, 2007

Last Day On Earth

So as I was skimming myspace I was on Steven Curtis Chapman's site, he's one of my favorites and he's been around for so many years that there are many songs of his that I've not heard and this is one of them. These lyrics just gripped my heart...I'll go on more after the lyrics are posted:

Last Day on Earth
Verse 1:
I pull over to the side of the road
And I watch the cars pass me by
The headlights and the black limousines tell me
Someone is saying goodbye
I bow my head and I whisper a prayer, "Father, comfort their broken hearts"
And as I drive away there's a thought that I
I cannot escape, no I, cannot escape this thought I can't get away

Oh, if this should be my last day on this earth
How then shall I live?
Oh, if this should be the last day that I have Before I breathe the air of Heaven
Let me live it with abandon to
The only thing that remains
AFter my last day here on earth

Verse 2:
If this should be my last day here on earth
If this should be my last day here on earth
If this should be my last, last day here on earth
And if tomorrow comes to find me Looking in the face of Jesus
Will I hear Him say the words "well done"?
If this should be my last day here on earth
If this should be my last, my last day here on earth
Cause if this could be my last, this could be my last
This could be my last day

Yesterday the sermon was about not worrying about tomorrow, but instead focusing on today. (Sorry drawing a blank right now on the verse). Then this morning I get online and find Emily-Really Living online and she'd just updated her blog and what is it about...the same thing. We chatted for a while, then she finally went to bed so she could get up and go to her first day of work (be in prayer for her today and well everyday). But I heard God. I've really been focusing on "tomorrow" for me my tomorrow is Friday and the week to follow. The birth of our daughter and the week I'm going to be in the hospital. I've been getting anxious (I know we're not to be anxious over anything) over her being healthy. I want her to be healthy not only for her or me, but for Emily. I have been in deep prayer and done quite a bit of worrying over this in the last couple of days and ultimately she's in God's hands and when she's born, God already has that taken care of and all I need to do is trust him. I need to remember that HE has this already taken care of, he knows what is ahead of us and that is not my responsiblity to worry about it. I'm to simply trust him and as a human, a mom, a wife, a sinner...I do struggle with that. Thank you to our chaplain and to Emily for reminding me of God's promise and instruction that tomorrow will take care of itself and that I just need to focus on today.

I think we live in a world where we're constantly looking to tomorrow. What IF today is our last day? I've said it since Jordyn died...tomorrow is NOT promised, not even for our children. I need a reminder of that myself. I can preach it, but I don't always live it. What do I expect Jesus to say to me if tomorrow doesn't come here on this earth and instead I wake up in Heaven? How I live today is what matters. I can't change yesterday, I don't know what is to come in the future...all I can do is live today. God gave us each free will, so how are we using that free will? Are we using it to Glorify God? I can tell you today has not been the most glorified day. I've been moody. I've been ugly towards my husband and my children. I've focused on how uncomfortable I am vs how blessed I am. I've looked at how much my back hurts vs how blessed I am to even be able to FEEL discomfort.

So for the rest of today, I'm going to focus on living it for Christ. Glorifying him through my words as well as my actions. If today is my last day on earth, I want it to count for something other than an ugly day, of moody pregnancy hormones.


Linda said...

We had a sermon that paralled that in a way. The sermon was called The American Dream. And the main point of the sermon was that we live in THIS world...not the world to come.

Three points made were that: we have only a vision of THIS world (little investment in our life after this world); we take complete responsibility for everything that happens in life (we often refuse to acknowledge God's hand in it); we view things (bad or good) in this life as tragedy, because of that lack of acknowledgment.

He used a great analogy about the "legacy" we want to create: How one couple worked hard all their lives, saved up for retirement, moved to Florida where they bought a home and a boat, and spent the days collecting seashells. When the time comes that we face the Lord and he says, "what have you done with your time on earth?" - do you want to hold out a box of shells and say "here Lord, I collected seashells"...or do you want to go out and minister to others and then you can tell God "I collected souls - I helped to bring people to you". Because if you only look to the future of THIS life, you forget what God put you on this earth to do - bring the lost to Him.

One always must remember that God knows HIS plans for us: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

If we live secure in the knowledge that God will take care of everything, and we just have to live in the day he has given us, life will be so much more fulfilling. I want God to say to me "Well, done, good and faithful servant"!

Praying daily for you and your little one on the way.

Emily said...

I love you... so much more than you know. I find myself gazing into Miss Emma Grace's sweet face in the pictures and just praising God for every detail of her. I don't even have to tell you that I ache, too. But I praise God for Emma and somehow, in some way, I'm thankful that seeing her grow will be a little like looking through a window that shows me what Miller Grace would have been doing and I'll be able to rejoice with you in every milestone that comes... and yet still know that Heaven is even better for Miller Grace. I know that makes no sense, but I'm grasping at straws in Miller Grace's absence, just to have some part of her alive in my life. Emma brings a little bit of that, as selfish as it sounds. Thank you, Christy. Thank you for loving me enough to include me in your life and your prayers and for allowing me to love on Emma (even it's through the computer until I WILL hold her) when I can't love on Miller Grace... I thank God for both of you, two of the most special girls in my life. Thanks for honoring my girl. You bless me.