Updated

So I updated the page and well honestly not all that thrilled with it, but after having to read do all the links, pictures, graphics it's just staying this way for a month or two. I am SURE there's an easy way to save the links so I don't have to go in and put them all in again (I could handle the pictures). I can understand html a tiny, itty, bitty bit...but even after I TRIED it wasn't working...so I had to redo all of it and this is what we get! I actually like the "His Name Is Jesus" (which is at the VERY bottom if you haven't noticed) but not feeling the "Gold" but oh well. Again...it is what it is and since I have no talent ultimately in the html department it's stuck this way for a while. I'm just glad there are more options now with pyzam, now if only they'd make it so they didn't lose all your widgets everytime...that'd be really nice! :)

Emma on Thanksgiving (chilling in our friends

little stroller so we could at least make our

plates! Trust me she wasn't staying in there

anylonger than that!)

So Thanksgiving was wonderful. We spent it with friends of ours B&T. T is home for R&R right now and what a blessing. Because of his job, he has a beard and rather long hair...although today he was supposed to shave and cut his hair back to a good ol' military cut, he has to get his DA photo taken. Not sure if he was going to do that (the pic) or not because they were heading down to Edelweiss today for the week. Anyways...B made the turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoe casserole (which I did not taste and No Kelly I didn't have to either! Bobbie confirmed it was GROSS and deamed me SMART for NOT trying it! ROFL), pumpkin pies, & corn. I made a turkey here at home so Chad could have his left overs that he desperately wanted and I could have the broth (sorry the canned stuff just doesn't cut it!)..I used the broth for my bread stuffing that I make from scratch (my mom's recipe), home made noodles, homemade bread, greenbean casserole, and choc. pies (2). Dinner was GREAT!!!! We all ate too much of course, a lot of laughing. We then played Spades and Sequence (my favorite card and board games!!). We got home a few minutes after 9 after helping B clean up everything, and the boys helping clean up the bedroom.

Friday we headed to Rothenburg (pronounced wrote-n-burg). It's a beautiful city! The old city is still surrounded by a Wall and multiple towers throughout the wall. It's just absolutely wonderful. It's a definate tourist attraction and the two times I've been there, both times I've met American's who are simply over here for vacation. It's definately a must see! (The bold words are linked!) We got checked into our hotel and found that we had probably the best room there! We were in the front and had a balcony that had a perfect backdrop of one of the towers and part of the wall! Our room was huge too, which of course I forgot to take pictures of the room go figure! Friday it was raining, but that didn't stop us. B&T was there too and so we all ventured out and headed to the old town and towards the shopping district! B bought a couple things, but I just looked to get idea's. That evening we had dinner back at the hotel with the rest of the group from the chapel that went with us (oh I forgot to explain our Chaplain wanted to do something for us 20% who does most of the volunteer work at the chapel..so they got us hotel rooms, dinner, and breakfast and then the rest of the time was ours to do as we wished!). Dinner was GREAT! We did a little game of charades and then we all went back to our rooms. B&T's son came to our room for a bit and then they and their daughter came over for a couple hours and just hung out and talked. Saturday morning we went to breakfast, checked out of the hotel, and off to shopping we went! B& I and our girls went one way while all the guys went and walked the wall and then did their own thing and we then met up after that, had lunch, and headed home! I did find a few Christmas presents on Saturday. Got my best friend something (she reads this so I can't say what it is!!), got my Grandpa and his wife (who I adore) a birdhouse (they collect them). Got my best friends 6 yr old son A a nutcracker, he loves them! This one is really old. I do need to clean him up a bit, but it was an awesome find! Got Emma a Boy and Girl Porclein German dolls (note to self need to get them for Emily's girls...birthday presents??!! Remind me Emily!) Chad got me something. Oh B also got me a Snowman picture frame (has 4 small frames so I can put a picture of each of my children in it!! Wahoo! Oh I love snowmen btw!

The boys on the balcony of our room

with the wall and tower in the bkgd

The boys with a knight outside a store

in Rothenburg

We headed home after lunch and then went to a bon fire that the chapel and Hospitality House was hosting. We roasted hotdogs, brats, and had smores! There was hot chocolate (which was sooo good), Apple Cider which was homemade (Chad said it was the best he ever had..I never ended up drinking any darn it), baked beans (I don't like them so I didn't eat them!). The kids played and had a great time. We just fellowshipped and had a wonderful time. We ended up singing hymns, Christian songs, and a few Christmas songs. It was so nice. We're truly blessed with the people we're surrounded by!

So that's about it! Oh Emma! Little Miss Emma decided to learn how to roll over last Tuesday. Daddy got home last Tuesday after being out in the field for 3 weeks. She was working her way to rolling over, but would get caught her that pesky arm that got in the way...well Daddy showed her ONE time how to move that and that's all it took. There's been no stopping her since then. Everytime I turn around she's rolling over. She's rolling from her back to her stomach, although once I've caught her roll back to her back. I'm not ready for her to start doing this. Oh and Sunday at church while my friend A took our family picture, well before she took the picture she put Emma down and was saying "ok now crawl" I told her to shut her mouth! She's not even 4 months and I'm in absolutely NO RUSH for her to be mobile. She needs to just remain a helpless baby for a while longer imo!

Miss Emma on Sunday after church

The boys are doing great! Growing too fast, are too smart for their own good, and both are REALLY happy Daddy's home!

Resting in the Lord

Isn't it easy to get so caught up in life that we forget to just sit up and enjoy the moment? I am guilty of this just as anyone...but when I do remember to just stop, shut up, and be quiet...those moments are so precious. I so often get so busy that I almost miss that these days are fleeting and in a blink of an eye my babies are not going to be babies anymore. Reality is Jacob truly isn't. He's closing in on 7 yrs old and I am not sure how that happened. I'm thankful it has, trust me...having a child captured at an age forever well it sucks. I know ugly word, but it does. It does seem like just yesterday Jacob was born and now here we are over 6 yrs later and he's turned into such a wonderful little boy. Then Jackson. When we moved here to Germany he wasn't even 2 yet...he was CLOSE, but he wasn't yet! Now some how he's turned into this 4 yr old that cracks me up often, makes me feel like I'm going to lose all my hair because of, and has such a tender heart (so got that from me!). Today during church he climbed into my lap and just cuddled with me. He placed his head under my chin and just rested. He knows he has a safe place to go to.

Sitting here this evening thinking about Jack climbing in my lap during church made me think, that's how we should be with Jesus. We should always feel like we can simply crawl into his lap and rest there. So often we get into the busyness (yes..being BUSY) in Christ, that we forget to REST in him. How many of us are attending church, bible study, helping in other area's of church...being it Praise Team/Choir, Children's ministry, etc....being busy in the name of Christ is EASY. My goodness it's so easy! But to be resting in Christ...well that for me is a bigger struggle. I have to truly remind myself to rest in him. That I can just be silent, sit still, close my eyes, focus on him. So often I should be reading his word and just being still, letting his words do the work, letting him do what he will do and me just accepting it, live it, and rest in him. How often do we truly rest in the Lord?

What joy we can have when we just stop doing all the time. I'm not saying not to do things within the church, for Christ, etc...trust me just the opposite (we need MORE people to be stepping up). But, I know for me how important it is to simply be with the Lord. I don't do it very often. Trust me that's quite humbling to type out, but it's the truth. I must make it a priority to just sit and be still. I need to shut up more, and listen harder.

I have a feeling I'm not alone there.

"Lord, please forgive me for getting so busy "doing" your work, that I forget to be your work. Lord you are my soft place to fall, my safe place to rest. Lord I need to remember that I need to rest in you so that I can be rejuivinated to do your work that you call me to do. There is no greater joy that to be in your presence Lord. I thank you for not only allowing me to share you with others, but that I can simply keep you to myself at times as well. Lord you are oh so Holy and I praise you. In your precious name. Amen"

Seeing in My Heart

If you could look into my heart you'd see a woman who's been wounded many times, but with the Grace of God, healed. If you could see in my heart, you'd see many things that have went untold, except to God. If you could see into my heart you'd see tears dropped and wiped away with the gentleness of Christ's hand.

If you could see into my heart you'd see the love of a wife who wants to be a truly Godly wife. To respect her husband and never show anything less to him. You'd see a wife who's said hurtful and ugly things to this man, but see a heart who's been forgiven by that man.

If you could see in my heart you'd see a mother who wants nothing more than to raise Godly children, bring them up in love, kindness, gentleness, and discipline. You'd see a mom who feels so often that she's failin in all those aspects...yet amazingly has loving, kind, gentle, pretty well deisciplined children and that heart knows it's nothing short of the Grace of God.

Today as I listen to my boys giggle watching Spirit, knowing how much spirit they have in themselves makes me smile. I hear Emma cooing to her little "friends" on her playmat, as she moves herself all around, wiggled out of her tiny little jeans (yes she did!!), and is making her way off her mat and onto the hardwood floor!

Right now there's such joy in my heart I can't even tell you.
You see my hearts been broken, torn, and ripped apart...but it then gets healed by God. He's at times gentle and at times in my face. He knows just what I need to "Get it" each day and at times different times of the day. He's my father and when I need to be disciplined he does it...righteously, effectively, but full of love none the less. When I'm broken and falling on my face in grief...he gently lifts me up and rocks me in his strong , capable, and soft arms. He wispers reassurance and promises to me and lets me know that I indeed will see the light if I just look to him.

How a single person can get through this life without him is simply beyond my comprehension. I've lived the worst nightmare of every parent. I've watched my child die. I've buried her in the ground, and I've survived to tell about it. Could God have saved her and allowed her to live...absolutely...but he didn't. Do I understand his reasoning, no..do I accept it and realize it's all for his Glory and that ultimately she's just where she's meant to be. Do I realize that she lived on this earth the perfect amount of time to fullfil her life? Yes, yes, YES. Does it humble me to my knee's to know that Jordyn was able to accomplish all of her life's accomplishments in just 2 yrs 1 month and 8 days. Absolutely....especially when I look at myself and feel that I'm so far from still accomplishing all that God has set out for me to do so far in my 30 yrs. Why some can accomplish things in 5 days or 2 yrs vs 80 or 90 yrs I don't know. What I do know is this...God knows and that's all I need to worry about. God see's each and everyone of our hearts...those who believe and are doing their best to follow him and those who aren't.

To that I'm grateful.

Today I'm thankful for My God. For his sacrifice for me on the cross 2000 years ago.

Jacob

I don't get a lot of one on one time with Jacob. Tonight I sent Jack to bed a little early (because he was so tired and simply needed to go to bed). Jacob came out to the living room and got in the chair with me and we sat watching tv and talking. He had me cracking up. We talked about us having one on one time and it's something I am going to try to do at least once a week or every other week. He said "I don't mind Emma being with us since she needs you, but no Jackson." I can understand that. I was the older sibling growing up and time alone was rare, especially when we were younger.

Jacob and I sat there for an hour just laughing and talking and enjoying our time. He's such a great kid. He's funny, he's honest, he LOVES Jesus, he's got such a kind heart, he's truly a blessing. I know all these things, but I don't always acknowledge them to him and tonight I did. When he went to bed he went with a smile and a thank you. I felt great, but sad too...that I've done such a poor job at making sure I get that one on one time with him over the last year especially. It's now a priority. He's closing in on 7 yrs old and although that's not that old...in 11 yrs he'll be 18 and preparing to head off to college or the military and I don't want these years lost. I want to KNOW him and have a close relationship with him. I want this relationship to be able to transition from parent/child (what it is now and will be for the next 11 yrs) to parent/friend when he does become a man/adult.

If I can't be the mother who's there when he needs to talk, open arms to fall in, laughter to his jokes...then I'm a failure as a mom to this child and I REFUSE to fail him. He deserves the best of me. I do feel like Chad and I have done a great job with him so far, but we still have a lot of work ahead of us and I take that seriously. This is the job that God placed me here on this earth to be. My priority after God and Chad is my children and Chad and the kids rotate at times in who comes first. No amount of money, alone time, etc is worth missing these moments. I'm blessed that God called our family to Homeschool. I'm blessed that God called me and told Chad I'm to be a SAHM. I have to be more diligent though on seeing each child as an individual. To make sure that we have that quiet time together. That we have moments of laughter one on one, etc. If I can't do that...then what AM I doing? Nothing nearly as important that's for sure!

Tonight...I'm thankful for Jacob. For my 1st born son/2nd child. I'm thankful for his laughter, his tender heart, his love for Christ, his honesty, his love, for HIM. I praise God that he made Jacob just as he is. That he has a smile that is true and not forced. That he has eyes that see more than what's just on the outside. I look at him and know God's got GREAT plans for this boy. It's exciting to me. I look forward to seeing him age and develop and become the young man and man that God is molding him to be!

I pray that I will not do anything that will harm him. That I will be the mother God wants me to be to Jacob, so Jacob can grow to be the man God has designed him to be.

Praise

Tonight I got to talk to my sister in law (sil) for a couple of hours. Her and my brother both beleive Christ is our Lord and Savior, but have never truly been walking with him, seeking him in their daily lives, or teaching their girls about him. She was not raised in the church and my brother and I were not really either. She said that lately her and my brother have been talking and have felt for quite some time that something is missing in their lives and they both know it's God and walking and living the life HE desires for them vs the life they have been living.

She said they want to go to church and I encouraged her to call the local churches and find out what they offer, what their stance is on things, etc. She's also planning on getting the girls involved in the local AWANA program which thrills me as well!

I shared more of my testimony with her, my thoughts, and feelings, etc. I also told her that I'd been praying for her and my brother for years to get to this point. As so many of you know you have to often hit rock bottom before you realize there is a way to climb out and they want to climb! My brother is having some serious health issue's and I did not realize the extent of them. He's lost 25 lbs in the last few months which for say someone like me would be an AWESOME blessing...for my brother not so much. He's 6'2 I believe and a few months ago weighed 175, he's now down to 150 and she said he's still losing. She said he has dark circles under his eyes, his face is sucken in. He has a dx of the illness, I'm drawing a blank on the exact term right now, but it's with his colon. He's 29 yrs old. He works his butt off (he's a very hard worker) he's also going to college at night to become an EMT and I believe he told me the other day when we talked that in the spring he's going to start classes for nursing, his goal is to become a doctor. Now if you knew my brother in high school you'd be stunned by this. He HATED school...but he's older and wiser and wants a better life for himself and his family and I fully support him. My sil is about to graduate with her Associates in May and then will be going for her Bachelors after that for social work. Please be in prayer for them over school and health.

Back to their walk with Christ. The desire is there for my sil. It's just truly such a blessing. I think any of us who are walking with Christ knows this, and to know she's so close...so close! She admitted she's scared and I think that's understandable, but I told her that once she does it she's going to see just how much scarier it is to have been on that "otherside". To live a life with Hope vs without....it's such a huge difference. To know that even in the worst of everything that at the end of the day we have the Hope in Christ. That he will always be there to catch us, that we're never truly alone, that we're always loved unconditionally which is completely impossible for any human being to do. It's such a blessing!

I ask that each of you pray for my brother and his wife as they give their lives over to Christ. I warned her that Satan will be attacking them from every direction and she said she feels he is already and I assured her it's because he SEE's them going towards God and he does not want that, and told her to keep her eyes focused on Jesus and that once she's in his Grasps, Satan can not get her...he'll attack her and TRY to reclaim her, but the only way he could is if she went to him willingly...that otherwise God will NOT let her go.

I'm about to head to bed, with such joy in my heart tonight!

God Bless

Halloween's Over, Here Comes....

******Just a note....pictures at the bottom*****************





Halloween is over and we're now looking forward to Thanksgiving my 2nd favorite holiday right after Christmas. I love having a day that's set aside to remember just how blessed we are and how much we have to be thankful for. Our family truly has so much to be thankful for, and far too often I forget that.





I am so blessed to have a husband who loves me as unconditionally as a person can love another person. He puts up with a very moody woman, who at times can go from one extreme to the next in 5 seconds flat. He's given me 4 beautiful, precious children. He's a man who's after God's own heart and that is the biggest blessing of all. Our children see that and that will be one of the biggest influences in their own Christian walk.





This year we'll be celebrating the Holiday with our friends. The husband's currently deployed, but will be home for Thanksgiving, or should be anyways and he's requested that we be there! It's awesome! She's over here a lot and I just love her. She's definately the best friend I have here and I just love spending time with her. I love their kids, and Chad and her husband get along great...when they're oh both in the same country! LOL For Christmas he'll be back to his deployment so she and the kids will be coming here to our home. I'm so thankful to have friends that we can open our home to when the spouse is gone or even home to just have those kinds of friends. We ARE blessed.





I'm so thankful that I am able to homeschool my children. To know that I don't have to send them off to brick and mortar buildings 5 days a week, to have another person, a virtual stranger teach my children things that I'm more than capable of teaching them. To know that I was the first person to hear them read their first words, first sentence, first paragraph and so on. I know it's not for every family, but it is for ours and because of that I praise God we're Americans and have this privilege (and yes it's most definately a privilege).





Most of all I'm thankful for Christ. That he died for my sins. That he humbled himself to be a child of a virgin girl who was not much more than a child herself when she became his mother. That he saw it fit to love ME even though I'm full of sin and ugliness at times. He willingly died on the cross for ME. How humbling when we get down to the nitty gritty and really think of just what he did for us. How many of us would even be willing to CONSIDER being crusifide but less actually doing it? I can say that I wouldn't. Just the thought of it is too much for me. How blessed we are to have a Savior such as he.





I don't see myself coming here everyday, but for the month of November and December everytime I do post, I will be listing at least 3 things I'm thankful for!





God Bless







Jacob, Emma, and Jackson
The boys were both Peter from Narnia
Emma was a Princess

This is Love



My Princes



My Princess (tired in Daddy's arms)