Thanks to those who commented and have been such an encouragement to me. Saturday was a really hard day for me, pretty well all of last week was hard, but it all came crashing down on Saturday. Wednesday was the 13th anniversary of Jordyn's death and Sunday/Mother's Day was the anniversary of when we buried her, the last time I kissed her, touched her sweet face, saw her sweet face. Grief is hard, it hurts, and you know I have the hope through Jesus. I KNOW one day I'll be with my sweet girls again, and yet it brings me to my knee's. It's ugly, it's raw, and it can make a person feel like they're losing their mind. I was there on Saturday. Crying out for Jesus and honestly for anyone else to just say "I care, your pain matters, I haven't forgotten".

I have been so blessed in this life, and I sadly do need to be reminded sometimes of how blessed my life is. The Lord has blessed me with 6 beautiful and amazing children, 5 of which I have right here to raise. Yesterday at church our pastor was preaching on Proverbs 1:7-12 and the verse that truly struck my heart and Chad's was verse 8...to summarize fathers are to instruct their children and mother's are to teach. Such conviction and great instruction for both of us as parents and a reminder and confirmation that parenting is both of our responsibilities.
I have not been the best mom lately...from being too harsh to being lazy in my mothering. I don't want to look back with regrets, or at least not many regrets. Every day is a new start and blessing and it's time I stop taking for granted the blessings the Lord's bestowed upon me.

I hope my fellow Momma's will pray on these verses, let them encourage you, and seek HIS wisdom.

Proverbs 1:7-9
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools [fn] despise wisdom and instruction.
Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.