Heaviness

You know there are times in your life that you know what you should do, but you struggle to do it. I'm there tonight. My heart is so heavy with burden and sadness and selfishness. God has blessed me tremendously with a precious friend here in Germany. Bobbie came into my life through VBS. I knew quickly that I liked her when she was walking out of the bathroom after discipling her son, as I was walking in to do the exact thing with Jacob! LOL We just clicked and there was no looking back. Over time we started spending more and more time together and before I knew it a day didn't seem complete without seeing or at least talking to her.
While her husband was deployed she came to dinner here at least a few times a week, we spent most of our days at the park with our children playing together, going to sports practices, Awana, PWOC, you name it we were/are together. Some people even get us confused just if nothing else because we're ALWAYS together. She has a twin sister and she calls me her triplet. Let me tell you, she is like a sister to me in the most wonderful ways! I love her and love her family.

Now she's leaving. I still have a couple months, but it's wiping me out. I am so sad about her leaving and I will get past this phase because I want to enjoy what time we have left together, but a HUGE part of my heart is breaking and will go with her stateside. I have spent hours praying that God would just keep her here until next June. She'd still leave before Chad came home for good, but I'd only have a couple months left and I'd be ok, but for what ever reason it's not in God's plan for her to stay and it's definately not in the Army's plan. I'm happy for her, they've lived in Europe for the last 5 1/2 yrs and although they have loved it, they're ready to go back to the states.
Please, I'm begging you if you read this (even if you don't comment) pray for me. I'm weak, I'm sad, and I'm hurting. It's truly hard enough having Chad gone, but now to have my best friend leaving me it's just too much for my heart tonight.
Two other precious, wonderful friends are leaving a month later and that I think is what's pushing me just over this tearful edge. I am still blessed though, today a friend who is not connected to the military told me she'll be here for me and I love this woman and to know that her best friend just left (another woman I loved) means so much because she gets how much I'm hurting right now.

I know God will make me stronger and I am so much better for having Bobbie directly in my life for the last two 1/2 yrs and I praise him for it. Tonight I'm just really, really sad and seek prayer.