Thursday, August 16, 2007


Bare with any mistakes that may show up, I have a little almost 2 week old laying on my chest because well it's the only place she seems to want to be today, which is ok, just makes for a tired momma and a sore back, but I'm grateful I bring her peace.

Well I told Chad my fears, and it truly lifted so much burden off of my soul. Why I think that I must hold onto everything, why I feel I have to keep it in. Looking at her beautiful face, reminding myself that her life is truly NOT in my hands and how I foolishly forget that is rediculous. The thing that set me into the downslide, that segment, that reminder of Jordyn and the way our life was 8 yrs ago, how could I forget that I don't get to control long I'm here or my children walk this earth is simply not up to me. Even when we've learned life's hardest lesson sometimes we still need that reminder. It stinks, yet we still need it at times. I have a feeling I will continue to need reminding from time to time. I just have to get back to the reality of what is true. This is all in God's hands.