Guess who's been getting sleepier and going to bed earlier? Meeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Lately about midnight to 12:30 I've been so very tired that I just simply can not keep my eyes open, so I give in and go to bed. I am truly amazed and so very thankful. If you've been praying for me and the insomnia I've been dealing with for almost the last 9 years, THANK YOU.
Life's been rather busy. Between schooling the boys, taking care of Emma, attempting (and normally doing a VERY poor job) to keep our home up, baseball practice, games, PWOC, practicing for the PWOC praise team, Hospitality House, and prayer meetings and just enjoying the spring and going to the parks on post, we seem to be on the go all the time. Can I just say how excited and ready I am for my husband to get home? He's been gone now 11 months. ELEVEN LONG months. This deployment has been quite different than others. Some in good ways, others in bad. Knowing we were facing 15 months of seperation really took a toll on my moral and my attitude was just poor. I am one who cries pretty easily, but I've cried for too much! Saying goodbye to my best friend here, B and my other dear, sweet friends. It's been quite the year so far, quite the deployment. I am absolutely ready for it to be done! But I'm not complaining. Just ready for my husband to be home with us again, and we're almost there!!! :)
God Bless
So that "drilling, yeah it was a jack hammer. They were breaking up the upstairs balcony that's floor was cement. It was so insanely loud. Thankfully they finished with my upstairs neighbors, got it completely ripped out, so hopefully rebuilding will be quieter, oh lets pray. If it's not, we will be leaving while they work on it.
I'm supposed to go to Pray and Play tomorrow. I love going, and love the friend who hosts it, but I admit I'm exhausted and would love to bum around tomorrow. We'll see what I end up doing. I'm about to head to bed right now, I should have already been there.
Oh and yes I AM so very excited about Chad coming home. I am absolutely ready!!!!!!!!!!!
We live in what's called a stairwell. It's a huge apartment building with two different stairwells. We have 2 apartments per floor, one apartment being a 3 bedroom, the other being a 2 bedroom. The 4th floor both apartments are 2 bedrooms, slanted ceilings, their OWN washer and dryer (grr lol), and a small balcony. Well right now they're redoing the balcony's. To redo them, means they have to remove all the old stuff. Oh my goodness, I'm losing my mind! The drilling is so insanely loud. Oh we're on the 3rd floor, so it's just permeating through the walls and of course it's right here in my living room. We can't think, none of us. Jack went to his room to finish his school work, because the poor kid can't think.
I'm praying they are almost done, I can't imagine how much more they have to do.
On other fronts, we're at almost 11 months in this deployment. Since our unit is coming home early, that means just 2 months to go!!!! Almost done! No exact date and we will not have one until maybe the day before they come home, but nothing will be 100% until they actually land in Ramstein and get on those buses, to bring them home. I have my banner ordered, and then the kids and I will make a banner too. I need to go buy a shower curtain now so that when we're at that day, I'm not stuck with some crazy color! I wish I could tell you how READY I am for him to get home. I'm seriously just tired. I'm also tired of doing all of this alone. But I can and will make it. I've truly been dreadful this deployment. I've complained all my way through it, and I'm ashamed of myself, honestly.
So for the next two months, my attitude is going to get better. I will focus on the blessings God's given me. I'm going to be an example of Christ to my children. I'm going to be the wife Chad deserves and should have. I'm going to have people in my life who will keep me accountable. I will have a couple of friends IRL who will keep me accountable and I have a couple friends who I know irl, but live in the states that I talk to often who I'm going to ask to also keep me accountable. We need that accountability is so many aspects of our life. As Christians we need fellow Christians to keep us accountable, when we are visably sinning and not so visably. That's why imo it's so important to go to church and have friends who are Christians to help you and hopefully you are there walking with other Christians gently keeping them accountable. As mother's we often need to be held accountable for how we react to our children (good and negatively), how we respond to our children, how we discipline, etc. Now I do think there's a limit there though, because I do NOT believe it takes a village to raise children. I have seen the village and they can stay AWAY from my kids, thank you very much! (Seriously). But I do think that when have are blessed to have friends who are not afraid to speak up to you and who you trust to watch over your children, that they can be free to say something to your child(ren) if they see them doing something wrong or praise them.
Any ways, the drilling has started up again and I'm struggling to complete a full sentence in thought, much less typing it. Oh pray it stops SOON!
Set Me Free: Casting Crowns (Lifesong)
It hasn't always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains
Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away
Set me free of the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free
Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
Jesus, rescue me
As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
And darkness cannot hide
Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All power on Heav'n and Earth belong to me
You are free
You are free
You are free
**Reminder** Visit our friend's little boys website: www.caringbridge.org/visit/trystan
Go down one entry and read about Trystan.
Today was crazy. Woke up and got to cleaning. The boys worked on their room, they are still so far from being done. I've told them that every morning they will clean until they're done (afternoon is school). The only moring they'll have off is Wednesday, since we'll be at PWOC and they can do their school work there, so they'll clean in the afternoon that day, hopefully they'll be done by Wednesday. I need to go through their closets and make sure all the clothes that Jack has outgrown is out, that the winter clothing is put up on the top shelves and spring and summer are pulled down. I'll leave down a couple long sleeve shirts and a couple sweat shirts, but otherwise I want to be ready for spring for them. I need to go through Emma's closet as well and just finish organizing her room too. I know exciting stuff! Even more exciting, is my bedroom. Oh it's a dirty little secret. Maybe it'll help pull me out of this slump I've been in lately. There are other things that I know are contributing to that slump.
Those other things have been eating me up inside. I am not at a point where I can or feel comfortable writing about it. Just pray please. I know as with everything, this is for the Lord's glory. Right now the only thing I can think of is I've depended too much on one thing to fill me up verses the Lord. I know I must take this to GOD in prayer.
I want to ask you to please go and visit and pray for my friends baby boy. Trystan was born with the same disease that has killed his 2 older brothers and that his sister was able to beat. They all had bone marrow transplants and Trystan at less than 2 months old is waiting for his own bone marrow transplant (BMT), which he'll have in 3 weeks. They're already transferred to Cincinnati Children's Hospital, from their home/duty station in San Deigo.
I personally know Sonia and Gary and big sister Kharisma. We met Sonia and Gary when their oldest son, Christopher, was going through treatment at Walter Reed (with Jordyn) and Children's National for his BMT (again with Jordyn). I was honored to be called to be with them as Christopher left Sonia's arms for Jesus' and they were one of the first we call when Jordyn relapsed and again when she left my arms for Jesus'.
There are so many prayer warriors out there, please pray for him as well as other sick children. Pray for Sonia and Gary, they know the actual REALITIES of the "worst thing that can happen", they've done it TWICE. They've not imagined it, not had nightmares, they live it day in and day out. They have two precious urns of their little boys in their home. They had to comfort their daughter as her little brother never came home from the hospital, and now as they try to explain why her new little brother is also sick. That's a lot ot grasp for a little 6 yr old.
Here's his website: http://caringbridge.org/visit/trystan
Please share and ask all you know to be praying for this little baby and his family.
Want reality? My 5 yr old is currently not one of my favorite people at this moment. His behavior and just so rediculous that I feel like my head is absolutely going to EXPLODE. My 8 yr old isn't far behind, but not quite to the 5 yr old level. I just need to SCREAM. I'm losing it, I am losing my mind. Pray please. Pray for me, to have the control that I need to not lose my mind, patiences, or anything else. Pray that my children will start behaving correctly, will stop the awful behavior. Pray that our focus will be on GOD and that I'll seek him before I react. (I did not do this earlier, I just reacted).
Well the one child that's not infuriating me at this moment is stinky so I'm off to change a diaper.
I came across this tonight and well my title says it all. Let me tell you this is WORTH watching. I was literally brought to tears. Do you have those moments where you close out a link and think "I am better because of this" I seriously feel this way. I was just truly so overwhelmed by this.
Ok so here you go! ;)
We had a really nice Easter. The day before was the post Easter Egg Hunt and pictures with the Easter Bunny and cookie decorating. That evening we dyed eggs.
Easter morning the kids enjoyed their baskets, then I went and hid the eggs in the back yard and the kids came down and did their hunt before church. After church we went to the Hospitality House, had dinner, the kids were read from a children's book on the REAL Easter story, and had an egg hunt. We came home and had a relaxing night.
We had a great sermon and ultimately it summed it up that we don't have your truth and my truth...there IS an absolute truth. You either believe that Christ is our Lord or you don't. There is only one way to Heaven, and that's by accepting Christ as your Savior and if you don't, then you will NOT go to Heaven. No amount of good works, being good, etc is going to get you or any of us to Heaven. There is only way one and if you don't accept it, that is your choice, but be prepared to accept the dire conscequences.
I liked the sermon, I don't like fluff, I don't need to be made to "Feel good" in church. We need the truth, nothing more and nothing less. Sometimes the truth hurts and unfortunately we all who proclaim that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and deemed closed minded, crazy, "mean", the list goes on. No one likes the idea that someone we know and/or care about is going to Hell, but there will be a great many who will and have this fate.
I want to urge you, if you ARE a Christian. If you accept Jesus as our Savior, you have a DUTY to share him with others. We are here to evangelize and share the word, share our Lord's truth. It's not always pretty, and we know that life does not get easier when we accept him into our life, but we have the assurance of Heaven. Here's another fact for you, if you do not share Jesus with those who know, who do not know him, they may NEVER know him and will spend an eternity without him. He died for all of us, not just you, not just me. Jesus died and rose again for all of us. Share him, step outside of your box and share the Lord with those who do not know him, have turned their back on him, or are not sure. Tomorrow is NOT promised.
Jacob during our home egg hunt
Jackson finding an egg
All 3 kids dying eggs
That man who literally was NEVER sick during his childhood, did not have the flu until our first year of marriage (and was positive he was dying and it was far more than "just the flu" lol....) well he's sick. From what he's told me, it sounds like either the flu or a nasty, nasty, nasty stomach bug. He has a horrible headache to go along with all the bodily fluids exiting his body. So if you'd pray for him. He's very concerned that he will not feel well enough to go to church service in the morning and he REALLY wants to. So can you pray that he's better by say oh 9:45 AM Iraq time! (that'd give him 15 minutes to get to service! LOL).
God Bless
A friend of mine shared this and wow. So often people focus on what's truly not important about Easter (I can be quite guilty of this myself). Easter bunny, egg hunts, pictures, Easter outfits, etc. But as we mark the day our Lord died and the day he rose again, let us keep our eyes and our hearts truly focused on him! Tell your children what Ressurection Sunday (aka Easter) is all about. Share our Savior with them and those who do not know our Lord. Let us remember the Lord's promise to us, that the only way...did you read that? The ONLY WAY into Heaven is through THE SON. The only way. No amount of good works, no amount of being a good person, loving, being a servant, no amount of GOODNESS will allow us to enter Heaven. The ONLY WAY, the one and ONLY WAY is through Jesus Christ. If we do not accept him as our Risen Lord and Savior we will NOT enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. There's no second chances. You get one life and one chance and tomorrow is not promised, so stop waiting. Stop " getting your life in order" your life will never be in good enough order and the only way to get there is through Christ. Stop making excuses on why you don't attend church and hear the Lords word and be accountable.
Let us remember this one thing this weekend: It's All About Jesus
Recently after a great deal of prayer, pause, more prayer and then back and forth (even though I truly felt God leading me) I "had" to call on a fellow believer and ask her about comments she was making. It was extremely difficult and so completely uncomfortable, yet I felt the urging from our Lord and I obeyed. The reaction was not what I was expecting. I thought I'd get a reply for one, possibly full of anger, most likely justification, but a reply none the less. Instead she completely shut me out. When I realized this (I admit I've been a little preoccupied and it took me a week or two to realize it) I emailed. The bad things of emails is people can not hear our tones. My guess is she heard my tone as accusing, when it was concern and honest questions.
So what are we to do? When we see our brothers or sisters in Christ behaving in unGodly manners? When they do things that makes our jaws drop because it's so ugly, unbecoming, and unlike the person you believe you know? In my opinion I think we pray, then wait, then pray again. When we get our answer we're to obey the Lord. I've been on the otherside of this situation, honestly I was furious and let my sister know I was not pleased with her. She was gentle and said "well have you talked to God about it? I have and felt him leading me to talk to you." she then said "Maybe I misintterupted him, so if you have talked to him let me know and I will apologize if we still differ, but if not how can I pray for you as you talk to our Lord?". Whew, knock me off my feet and drop me to my knee's.
What do we do when we are cut out of that persons life though, because we were honest and sincere? Well I can tell you what I did, I reached out once again and emailed and asked some questions and made statements of what it felt like to me. The reply was curt, no answers. So, where's that leave me? My instinct is to reply again, but although I've written the reply I'm sitting on it for right now and praying. Praying for guidance for me, guidance for her, and guidance over the whole situation as a whole.
What I'm discovering is no one wants to be told that what they're doing or saying is wrong, ugly, or hurtful. No one wants to be told they're being judgemental. But what happens when our Lord tells us we need a hold a mirror up to anothers face? Well we better obey. It's not easy, there's a chance a friendship may be over or scarred, but we still must obey. Here's the clincher though, we better get prepared for the Lord to give someone else a mirror to use on us. How we react is one thing we have control over, though. We can accept what we percieve as criticism or we can throw a fit, and act like a spoiled child being told " no cookie".
Can I tell you how hard it is sometimes to be a Christian? It is. Anyone who thinks that once they give their life to the Lord, that it's smooth sailing, is in denial or if they are a Christian and have smooth sailing, where is the walk? Even if the situation above is not one you've been faced with, what about sharing our Lord with others? There's a world full of nonbelievers.
It's something to think about. I want to share a video I have seen before, but came across again tonight over at Bridget's blog. Take the time to watch this, even if you're "too busy" "don't have time"..make it! It's worth it.
I have quite a few pet peeves but one that really just irks me beyond belief is when I hear a wife or even WORSE a Dad say the Dad is "watching/babysitting" their own children. Here's a headline...they helped create them..it's called PARENTING.
Ok back to what you were doing before.
Did you watch the ACM's last night (it was on here tonight). Grab your tissue's and be prepared for a beautiful song.... I sent it to Chad, made me think of our friends we've lost over the years. I'm so thankful Chad's a soldier and that he's coming home soon. I'm not one who is saying "Bring all our soldiers home" because I FIRMLY believe they have a job to do and they're doing it, but I am ready for MY soldier to be back in my arms! Oh and scroll down to the bottom of my page and pause my playlist.
Last night Jacob had his first baseball game of the season. He's in coach pitch this year (where the coach pitches to the kids). He did really well. He's truly honing his skill in this game. It's amazing to watch how he's improved over the years. This is his 4th year of playing. I wish Chad were home to be coaching him again, but most of all to see him once again this year to see how he's improving. Jackson is playing as well, but he's in instructional (again, for the last time!). That little guy can really throw! I played catch with him and 9 out of 10 times he threw that ball directly to me! He also did well hitting. I don't have pictures of Jackson yet, I'll hopefully get some this Tuesday at his practice. Not sure when the first game will actually be for him, probably in a couple of weeks. He should only be going for 6 weeks and this coming week will be his 3rd week. Oh and yesterday our little girl turned 20 months old!
She's here! She weighed 7 ,lbs 2 oz. and 21 inches long. From time of induction to birth was 4 hrs 45 minutes (I know, just not right!) and she was born after only (are you ready for this?) 2 count them 2 pushes! She's perfect, nursing wonderfully, and so abundantly loved! More later, I'm so tired! LOL Seriously though I am!!!
Well I was supposed to update Emily's blog, but can't access it right now, so I'm asking all of you to pray for Emily right now. She's being induced. Her blood pressure is VERY high and she was spilling protein into her urine, so her ob said it was time. As soon as she has Abigail, Matt will be calling me and emailing me pictures! It's been 2 hours and 40 minutes since she called me, so no doubt it'll be the middle of the night for me, but I'll have my laptop and phone beside me in bed tonight!!!
Be in prayer!
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