Thursday, January 21, 2010

Friendship's ups and downs

I recently was convicted to forgive someone who I'd been friends with for over 11 years, but had ultimately had enough of being her dumping ground and just let everything spill out. Here's where I was completely at fault, I hadn't been completely honest with her. When something happened with her that I was bothered about, etc instead of telling her, I just kept it inside. It all came spilling out when I ended up being the last or one of the last to find out she was getting remarried. The first to call for bad news, the last for good and when it was such big news. I was hurt, furious and let me just say everything I'd held back came spilling out in one very long email. It was NOT my finest hour. It was one of my worst to be honest with you. A month or so ago, I felt GOD urging me to forgive her and try to renew our friendship, slowly.
So I reached out and asked her for forgiveness, she gave it and asked me for hers. We have been slowly communicating via fb, emails, and the other day she called me and after her husband called to tell her some great news, she called me first, so share good news.
It's a start and although we're not as close as we used to be, I think and pray we'll end up with a healthier and more even friendship, and most importantly an honest one. I'm in constant prayer for her and our slowly rebuilding friendship. It's a work in progress and I think that's important
thing going slow, not pushing too fast, and truly letting GOD guide this friendship.


Emily said...

Thats so good that your friendship is being worked on. I am in the same boat.. I have lost a friendship of over 15 years. We have fought off and on since probably 2000/01 somewhere around there. I miss having a friend like I once had in her, but our friendship is beyond repairable now... I honestly don't think I want to give it another try, because we always end back up to where we are right now.

Irritable Mother said...

Hi Christy,
I just read your comment on Amanda's blog about the cliff hangers and decided I needed to come over here and meet you.
So appreciated what you said.
Sometimes I feel like a "less-than" blogger because I don't have lots of followers, or lots of commenters. But you are so right! I KNOW my commenters - as well as one can know a person they've never met in real life.
But, honestly, I see their name and can recall what's been going on in their life. I pray with and for them. God has given me a sincere love for each one, and that likely could not happen if the number was huge.
So, thanks for helping my perspective. *grin*

And I'm glad to hear you're on the road to healing with this friend of yours. God is good and His timing is always perfect!


Kathryn said...

What an honest post!
I am glad that you are able to forgive and move on, and try to fix this friendship!

I had a similar situation with a friend. Growing up we were best friends, but I was also very bitter and jealous of her. When I went off to college which was pretty far from her, I tried to keep in touch with her, but I was always the one to call her. When she came to go to the same college as I. She didn't want to hang out or do anything with me. I was so hurt and I finally gave up on the friendship, seeing she didn't want tp have anything to do with me. I was so hurt for the longest time. After two years I got an email from her over this past summer. She wanted to talk and so I took this opportunity to apologize for my jealousy and bitterness of the past. I have not heard from her since last summer, and I am not going to be the one to try to be friends again unless she wants to. I do not want to push it. But I am so glad I had that small opportunity to apologize and and now I can have a clear conscience!

I hope everything works out with your friendship, I know how words can hurt, but in the end you will be glad for forgiveness! :)

Julie the Army Wife said...

That is awesome! God will restore friendships :)

Thanks for visiting my blog! I am looking forward to following yours :)

Beth in NC said...

Forgiveness seems to be one of the hardest hurdles for me to cross over the years. I am proud of you for overcoming!

Kristin said...

It is hard to be the one to make the forgiveness step. So often I feel I am in the right and that the other person should be the one to ask forgiveness, but even if that is true, even if they have done wrong, God honors the heart of reconciliation. It never hurts to be the one to say, "I'm sorry. Let's begin again." Praying that your relationship with your friend is strengthened and moreso, that your relationship with HIM becomes stronger!