Work in Progress

Feeling better that is. Actually it's not that I've felt awful the whole time the past 2 days, just various times when I have, otherwise I almost forget how nasty this bug is and then it hits me and I'm running to the bathroom. I hadn't thrown up at all yesterday, until 5 am this morning, and WHAM, I barely made it to the bathroom and it's maybe 15 steps from my bed! For a full hour I was either leaning over the toilet or sitting on it, seriously I know TMI, but good grief! Emma was NOT happy with me that I was not in bed with her, cuddling and allowing her to nurse, but there was no leaving that bathroom! She threw almost every book that I had on my headboard, off! I walk in and she starts clapping! LOL The truth of the matter is, she can crawl out of my bed if she wants, but was being a stubborn little thing. (No she's not spoiled! LOL)

Anyways, I was thankfully able to go back to sleep and slept for quite a while, then moved out to the couch to be a somewhat attentive mother. I let the boys watch tv, as I dosed off and on and ran back and forth to the bathroom. Praise GOD all 3 of the kids remain healthy. Obviously we didn't go to church this morning. One of my friends' husband's was kind enough to go the Commissary and get me some soup since I was out. The kids had sandwiches that Jacob made (he's sure handy!) for them, and he kepts my Cranberry juice coming! I honestly don't know what I would have done without Jacob today. Jack was a good help too, he played with Emma a lot today and they both tried to keep her off of me as much as possible. She seriously kept wanting to climb all over me every chance she got, I thought I was going to start crying.

The boys did go to AWANA tonight though. My friend B took them and brought them home. I don't know what I'll do without her when she leaves. Her and A are such a life support for me. A leaves in December and my heart just breaks over it. I am just trying not to dwell on them leaving, and being thankful for the time I have with both of them.

Tomorrow I'm hoping will be a better day. I made a schedule for the whole week. I'm not a list/schedule type of person really. Well, we have our schedule for school, but that's it. I want and NEED to get on top of things here at home, so I'm going to try with the list and hopefully can do it. I did this last time Chad was deployed and actually did really well for a few months (I think I got sick and that's how I got off of the list, so need to make sure that doesn't happen again). I'm going to blog about what I'm doing as a way to keep me accountable. I'll let you know what I want to get done each day and what I actually get done. I'm also going to start making my weekly menu's out again. I used to do this all the time and it made dinner time so much easier. I actually had a time where I planned all 3 meals and 2 snacks. I started the menu when Jordyn was alive and we were driving back and forth between Walter Reed and Ft. Belvoir everyday. It made it easier to know what we were going to have when we got home from her chemo or a check up and on the days we didn't have to go in, just easier to know what we were having vs trying to think of it. I find that I dwell on what to make all day long, which actually makes me just think of food in general and I find myself snacking more. So my hope is that it'll also help me in my weight loss. If I have snacks already planned out, meals planned, hopefully I'll snack less often.

Being sick has helped in the weight loss. I weighed myself today and lost 7 lbs. So if there's been ANYTHING good about this, that's it! Hey we have to take what we can get right?!! So I'm on my way! I'm back to drinking less Pepsi, I finally had to give in and drink my last one that was in my fridge tonight. I hadn't had once since yesterday morning (before I got sick). I had a massive headache all day and it of course left once I had the Pepsi. So I'm going to try and drink just one a day and no more. I know that will help with the weight loss, and the one will keep the headache away. Goal is to not be dependent on caffiene by the time Chad comes home for R&R in Feb. I believe I can do it, actually I KNOW I can. I'm going to get used to just one a day and then start cutting that down, I figure I'll just pour a little down the sink and every week pour a little more down, until I'm not drinking it at all, except for on rare occasions. I love water so I'm going to just up that and I'm going to lose this weight and feel better about myself.

I'm definately just a lovely old work in progress. From getting over this bug, to getting healthier. I want to show my kids that I believe I'm worth being healthy and that they're worth it. I want to show them they don't need to depend on food to fill voids, when the only one that can fill it is Jesus. Food should be for nutrition not for emotional support. It's been my support for far too long now.

On another note. I was hoping to talk to Chad today, but he must still be out. He's gone so much and I hate that. It's his job and I'm fine with it, just wish he'd have a little more down time to rest. I worry about him so much in getting enough sleep. Sunday's are their down time as a battalion, but he's rarely there for their day of rest and fun (they play various sports and it's just a fun day for them), but he's normally off on a mission it seems. We are going to have a VTC (Video Teleconfernce) on Halloween though! I'm so excited! I'm going to have the kids dressed up in their Halloween costumes, so he can see them, and our Rear D is doing a Costume contest so they can see just how cute they are! LOL Emma is going to be a sweet little lamb, Jack's Indiana Jones, and Jacob's Iron Man. I am thinking next year I might see if I can get them to dress up as a theme, where they all go together. We'll see if they go for it or not! Jacob will be 8, but it'd be cute none the less! I can't sew, so I'd have to depend on someone helping me out by teaching me or simply sewing their costumes or me finding ones already made, but in the theme! We'll see, that's a year away still!

Well, hoepfully tomorrow I'll have good news of being past this bug. Thank you for the prayers!