I decided for the first time to join in with I ♥ Faces
This week's theme is Pouting and when I read that I KNEW the perfect picture to use:
We were officially notified tonight that Chad's unit is coming home early!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He'll be home aprox. 45 days earlier than expected!! To some of you that may not seem like a big deal, but it's HUGE! Instead of the end of the summer, we're talking about the beginning! He'll be home for Emma's 2nd birthday and Jackson's 6th. I wasn't so worried about Jackson's birthday, but thought he'd miss out on Emma's.
I really can't believe it, well I DO believe it, but never thought it'd happen! I wasn't being pestimistic, but realistic. Anyways our new reality is that they do not need our unit as long as projected so they're bringing them home early!!!!!!!!
Ever feel like that one particular child is "going to be the death" of you? I do! Mine's named Emma Grace! She's sweet, sassy, stubborn, overbearing, beautiful, wonderful, and a mess! This morning before church she decided it was time for a trip to the ER. Yep, oh what fun!
She was running, we have hardwood floors, and she fell and hit her head and the biggest goose egg I have EVER seen in my life popped up on that childs head so fast. I did learn that, it forming so quickly is actually a good sign that most likely (note most likely) no blood clot. I had been in the bathroom when this happened, it took me about 3 seconds to get to her. Once she was calmed down I called my friend T, where Jacob was having a sleep over at with her son and sent our neighbor boys home who had slept over and was going to go to church with us, but well I was not about to take an extra child to the ER if I didn't have to...so he went home! Off Jack, Emma, and I went to the ER. May I just say that I was a wreck. Normally I'm calm and even maybe a little harsh. I'm the mom who's looking, seeing they're ok and telling them to get up and get back to playing or what ever it was they were doing before they hurt themselves. Not this morning.
I'm not sure still if she also scratched herself or if because the goose egg/bump grew so quickly her skin split. I was of sound mind to grab my camera though and I took a picture of her before taking her into the hospital. (photo to come) I get in there, she was seen with in 10 minutes and they sent us over to have a sonogram of her head. They looked and he said all was well, no bleeding or clots could be seen. Now let me explain during the first 10 minutes of waiting she was happily playing with the toys they had there, jabbering away, and running around. When we went to the kinder clinic (children's clinic) to have the sonogram, they have all kinds of things for the kids to play on and with and she was running around, loud, laughing, and having a good old time. It's about this time I started to question if I should have even brought her to the ER! LOL (Ok it wasn't a big question, I needed the piece of mind knowing she was ok!!) So she had the sonograph, and we went back to the ER waiting room, waited about 20 or so minutes, saw a different dr and he said she was ok. She had a very slight concussion, just to keep an eye on her bring her in if any signs (vomitting, intense sleepiness, confusion, acting oddly), but otherwise he sent us on our way. So by 12:30 I was pulling up to the chapel parking lot, going in and low and behold everyone knew about Emma.
My friend T had told one of the chaplains and he happened to be the one praying during service and so he asked for prayers for Emma. So in a matter of 30 minutes after Emma falling she was being prayed for by aprox. 300 people! How blessed are we? We live on a small post so I came home to messages on the answering machine from people who'd heard Emma had been hurt and were reaching out in case I needed help with the boys. Can I tell you how blessed I feel to live here? So very blessed!
So ready to see this crazy child of mine?
Yes I know her face is dirty (I washed it right after I took this and saw how disgusting she was! LOL) I took this right before I got her out of the van to take her inside to the ER. Oh by the time we left the hospital and got back to post, it was about half the size it started off with and when she went to bed it was half that size. I'll take another picture of her in the morning so you can see the difference.
God Bless
PS if you haven't been by Kristy's (linked 2 posts ago) please go and rejoice with us! What a blessing!
One of my favorite bloggers Traci wrote a comment and I want to share it, because it's brought up a lot of various thoughts for me and emotions that I want to share:
"I'm always thankful for my healthy girls. I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I've been facebooking and frankly, journals have taken their toll on me emotionally. No offense but your's especially. Babies aren't supposed to be born with problems and little people aren't supposed to die and daddy's aren't supposed to be in the desert without their families. I love you, Christy and am praying for you and your family.
Thursday, March 26, 2009"
If you read Traci you know what a sweet woman she is. She loves Jesus, loves her husband, and loves her girls whom she's homeschooling. She's a Northern girl, living in the South.
Initially I read it and just approved it and went about things, but for some reason I was called back to it and reread it. On that 2nd read I was hurt. Hurt that my blog was too much for others. I don't try to make my blog one that's emotionally draining. I try to mix it up, but sometimes sad is what I'm feeling and I'm not going to hide behind a fake mask. Then I read it again and you know sometimes reality is just too much. It gets to be too much for me honestly, but I unfortunately don't get to avoid it. Now before I go on, please know that this is absolutely no way meant to be read at anything towards Traci, but towards myself! Funny how others thoughts show you your own so clearly. I KNOW what Traci was saying and get it and I will tell you I have to avoid some blogs myself because it's just too much for me at various times. With that though here goes!
I don't get to avoid babies getting sick and dying. My daughter died. She had cancer, she had chemo, total body irradiation (TBI), she had a bone marrow transplant, she replaced, had more radiation, and then the leukemia over took her and Jesus carried her home. I walked on the otherside of the road as one of my very best friends had to hand her baby over, at only 5 days old to Jesus. She did this as I was finishing out a pregnancy I'd prayed more for than I'd prayed for any of my pregnancy's. I walked it with her as I nursed my baby, begging the Lord to keep her quiet so Emily would not hear her, as I listened as she wept over the death of Miller Grace. I don't get to avoid a husband who's a Daddy off in the desert fighting for our country, even if the majority of our country does not support his fight and feels it's worthless. My husband is one of the 4% of American's (yes it's only 4%) who's brave enough to be in the military to fight for our country.
I know that although I have my trials, they are not everyone's trials. Reality is they're not the majorities trials. Yet we all have our own individual trials. For the most part, I've come to terms with Jordyn being in Heaven. I NEVER have to worry about her or her safety or where she's at. I know, I KNOW she's safe in the arms of Jesus! I chose to marry a Soldier. Chad was in the Army when we got maried, but we were not at war. I honestly never dreamt that we'd be seperated so much in our marriage, yet we've spent nearly half of our 12 yrs of marriage apart. It's not always easy, yet we're so blessed. While so many are losing jobs, Chad has job security. We don't have to worry when the next paycheck is coming in, because on the 1st and the 15th we're paid right on time. I don't have to worry about taking my children to the medical clinic or putting food on the table, because we have free medical care. I don't have to worry about where I'm going to live or how rent or a mortage is going to be paid, because the military has housing for us (or if we lived off post would give us a certain amount to pay for our rent). So yes, Chad has a DANGEROUS job, the seperation absolutely sucks, and I wish he was home with us vs in Iraq...but it's his career and it's where God has placed him and he's blessed us through the Army. We have a security that many do not have. I'm truly thankful for that.
I also know though that sometimes reality of my life or others who I care about is just too much for me and I have to find ways to seperate myself. There are blogs I can't go to. Honestly I struggle reading about most children with cancer, although I do read a couple. Let me tell you though, there are times I get out and out jealous to read of a child who beats cancer. I'm NOT proud of this, but it's my truth. I'm thrilled they survived, but jealous none the less, because reality is...I wanted Jordyn to survive and beat cancer in the opposite way that she did beat it. I would LOVE to have an almost 11 yr old here. I'd love for Jacob to not be living in the roll as "Oldest" and would love for him to have the role of "2nd" child, but that's not what GOD allowed for our family. There are times I wish I only had to deal with my husband going away for an overnight trip or even a few weeks trip, or a fishing weekend (oh he'd love that! LOL). But that's not our life! He is that Daddy who's in the desert and my children are the ones who have to live every other year of their life with Daddy being gone and not knowing if he will return to us.
So here it is....sometimes we have to do what we can to survive. Sometimes it's avoiding blogs, sometimes it's avoiding people in our real life, sometimes it's not answering the phone, returning a letter, turning the channel or turning the stupid tv completely off. Sometimes it's not listening to that song that pierces your heart. Sometimes we have to do what we have to, to keep going. Sometimes we have to say no, or suffer burnout.
It's not weakness. It's survival.
All I ask is that you seek GOD. Seek him, love him, praise him and remember that yes there are storms brewing all over the place, but we're still supposed to praise him through those storms. Although it may seem like there are storms at every turn, on every blog...there are also Miracles all over the place.
In a matter of days or weeks my sweet, sweet Emily will be giving birth to her 4th daughter. Abigail will soon be filling their HOME with newborn cries and squeeks, and piggy nursing sounds that Emily has ached to hear for nearly 2 yrs. That my friends is a miracle!
I talk every single day almost to my friend Heather, who a little over a year ago many of you were praying with me for. She'd went into a coma, died, was brought back, and then tetered for weeks, lost part of her lung, lost muscle mass in her body (laying in a coma does that to a person), nearly lost her voice because she had to have a Trach, yet because of the Miracle GOD gave her, gave us, she's alive. She's sassier, speaks her mind more often, loves harder, laughs longer....because GOD gave her a miracle.
I promise you....there are miracles all around you, you just aren't seeing them. So if you're feeling emotionally drained, burt out, or just spent from certain things...take a break from them and start seeking Christ. Ask him to show you his miracles. They're every where and they're AMAZING.
He's HOLY. He's a God of Wonders. He works for all things to Glorify him. Let your life be part of that! Let your spirit! Pray for the sick, pray for those who are seperated from their families, pray for the broken hearted....but do not forget to sing PRAISES!
Traci, thank you for being honest. Thank you for sharing your heart. I love you, too!
So although babies aren't supposed to be sick and daddies aren't supposed to be away from their families, sometimes they are....but my friends GOD is always GOD and nothing happens without his knowledge and ok first and we know that all things happen to Glorify the Lord, so we can rejoice! Sing Praise! God is always faithful to us, he's forever and never will he forsake us. Oh how blessed are we? So blessed, so blessed.
I was given the Kreativ Blogger Award by Amy!
Here are the award rules:
List 7 things that you love, and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you love! Be sure to tag them and let them know that they have won. You can copy the picture of the award and paste it on your sideboard letting the whole world know...you are Kreativ!
So... 7 things I love!
1. My Lord and Savior. There is nothing, absolutely and no one who's more important in my life than our Lord
2. Chad, my husband of 12 yrs today! I can not imagine my life without him. He's the leader of our family, the most wonderful man I know, he made me complete, he's given me 4 beautiful children so far, and is a brave US Soldier! What more could a girl ask for?? Oh and he loves me like no one else!!! :)
Jordyn
Jacob, Emma, Jack
3. My children....God has blessed me so much with my children. I can't imagine my life without them. They have showed me how much more important this life is, beyond myself. I have felt the deepest of grief and the highest of joys through my children. Each of them have changed my life in the most profound ways.
4. America. How blessed are we to be Americans? I'm so thankful to be an American
5. PWOC Since we moved to Germany July 2005 and I walked into our chapel and into my first PWOC meeting, I have been so blessed ever since. God has blessed me over and over and over again, I wish I could even explain in words how God's blessed me with this amazing group.
6. Music...primarily Christian music. I love listening and singing. I don't have a single memory where music's not involved some how, from the time I was in the backseat of my parents car of 3 or 4 singing, being on my Aunts front porch singing at the top of my lungs the song "Nobody" by Silvia (country! LOL), being in high school in our select choir, at church...music is always there.
7. Brownies! LOL Seriously I love brownies! hehe! ;)
Ok so I'm going to tag:
1. Lori
2. Kelly
3.Emily
4. Amanda
5. Janis
6.Mimi
7. Emily in Alabama
So ladies take the Award from above and join in!
Do any of you know Kristy? If the answer is no, please go and visit her, read her blog and start praying. Kristy is the proud momma of 4 little boys, 2 are here with them and 2 are in Heaven.
She's now pregnant with their first GIRL and things are not looking as perfect as we've been praying.
I know many of you pray for Stellan, I am too, but if so many can pray for one little guy, why can't we pray for a little girl just as hard? Please start praying and asking others to pray. We know GOD performs miracles still, I've seen it with my friend Heather last year. Many of us witnessed it with Baby Stellan was born healthy. Miracles can and do happen, so please lets pray for another miracle for this little baby girl.
It's funny how one minute life's easy going, feels like it couldn't get any better and then the next thing you know you're being told that your not quite 1 yr old has leukemia. You're told to start praying for one type of leukemia (ALL) because the other one (AML) has a much lower survival rate.
Ten years ago right now, our lives were being turned upside down and inside out. We were being told our sweet Jordyn was not only sick, she was dying possibly. Plans were being made to fly us out of Ramstein (she was dx at Landstuhl) to Andrew's AF base and then onto Walter Reed. By morning plans had changed, Jordyn was far too sick to fly immediately. Instead we went via ambulance (with Chad following behind) to Homburg University and she began treatment there. We were also told that Jordyn had AML Acute Myloid Leukemia, that she had CNS involvement (leukemic cells in her central nervous system), and her only chance would be a bone marrow transplant. She also had pneumonia and was so very, very sick. I can still see Chad's commander come into her room and just break down crying. She was lying there with a mask over her little tiny face to get oxygen and medicine for the pneumonia. Two nights before we'd been roller skating.
Life has never been the same.
Yesterday the kids and I went to one of our local castles. It's about 5 minutes down the road.
Jacob
Jackson
Jack outside in the back of the resort
Jacob, Emma, and Jack
Jack, Emma, and Jacob
Jack,Emma, and Jacob
Outside of the main building (there was a toddler playground there)
The countryside (the white there is the roof of the waterpark)
The slide inside the water park
The lake at the resort
We're leaving in the morning and heading out on a retreat. It's for our battalion and the MP unit that's deployed. We'll have a bible study that we'll go to Friday and Saturday, for an hour or two, but otherwise the time will be ours! It's at an amazing resort (from what it looks like on their website!!). They have a HUGE waterpark there, and I'm not talking a pool and a little slide, I'm talking water park slides! The hotel is giving us 8 hours per child of free childcare, so I'm really, really looking forward to that! I'm hoping to book a massage for myself for Saturday or Friday evening.
It's about a 5 hr bus ride, and we have to ride the bus unfortunately. I'm just praying to get a seat upfront so I don't get sick (otherwise I will get sick). Praying that the other kids that are going are not awful. I need to get a couple dvds for my kids. I'm taking the laptop. I have plenty of snacks. Need to get Emma's toys rounded up, but otherwise I'm all packed. I do have to run down to the laundry room and get the last of the clothes from down there, but that's just a quick thing. I'm taking my camera so hopefully I can get some good shots of the kids and scenery. We'll be very close to the France border.
Hope you have a good weekend.
God Bless
I never used to be a person who could take naps. Even as a small child, I rarely would nap for my mom. I would lay and rest, but the actual sleeping would not happen. During my pregnancy with Jordyn, I worked and so naps were not an option. I'm sure I took one here or there on the weekends, but it was rare. Jacob well I was grieving, slept most the day (that's when my insomnia began), so I don't really feel I napped then either. But...then came my pregnancy with Jackson. I could not make it through my day without a nap. Everyday Jacob and I would lay down and sleep. It was wonderful. It was honestly the thing I looked forward to everyday! It felt so good! I didn't take as many naps with my pregnancy with Emma, but they came and went from time to time. But since having Emma, naps have become a treasure to me. I don't take them everyday, and actually try not to very often, otherwise I'm often up for hours upon hours even later than normal! But today a nap was mandatory!
Emma woke up at 1 last night, her scream was one of pain or fear (at the onset I wasn't sure). I soon found out, it was pain. My poor baby girl was (to put it bluntly) constipated. Her belly was so hard. She nursed and insisted on laying on top of me. I then was able to coax her to lay beside me, as I rubbed on her little belly. We finally both drifted off in exhaustion around 5. The last time I saw the clock it said 5:01. I was up 2 hours later for PWOC.
So, once we were home, I made lunch, laid Emma down (the boys did their school work at PWOC), I had the boys occupied...I laid down on the loveseat and was out for the count. May I say I felt so much better after that nap. I didn't feel even more tired, as I often do. Nope today my body and mind needed those 2 hours of precious sleep.
Once up I made us chicken-bacon ranch pizza. (Can you say, YUM!). We had a nice evening, and then it was bed time. It's 1:13 and I'm actually yawning so I think I'm going to be able to get a decent nights sleep tonight too.
Please keep Kelly in your prayers if you're not already. Her Dad died 2 nights again. She's in Arizona now with her Dad's wife and her siblings.
Also keep Traci and her husband in your prayers. Lou has been out of work for a few months and he's been offered 2 jobs and went on to an interview today which is actually the type of work he does. What a blessing to have possibly 3 job possibilities!
Continued prayers for my friends Sonia and Gary and their baby boy Trystan.
God Bless
Ok so I've calmed down! I'm still seriously annoyed with them, but I know I'll get everything straightened out and all will be fine. Thanks for the support and prayers. I do think Satan is trying to get at me any way he can and this is one way he is trying.
He won't get in and won't win. It's not an option.
I know Satan loves it, I know he does and he loves it even more when I'm reacting the way I am. I just want to SCREAM. I want to kick someone or something or maybe punch them or it, seriously I think I could feel better if I could. I think I'm going to work out instead, but good grief!
Emma is 19 months old. NINETEEN MONTHS and we STILL do not have her Social Security Card. I sent off for it soon after she was born to our Consulate, we did everything right, because we did it in the office with the man whose job it is to help with that and birth certifiates, etc. We did it. Ok...nothing. I got nothing. So in December I sent off all the paperwork AGAIN. Chad came home and we were both frustrated. We needed to do our taxes and once again were not able to claim Emma, but told that when we got her SS# we could come and do an amendment for this '06 and 07. We'd also talked to the woman who works in the office here on post that we get the paperwork from for SS Cards and she actually called Frankfurt and they verified they had everything, and were in the middle of processing it. Well today I get all the paperwork back saying they need a certified copy of my military id or dl to complete the process. Well one it's stapled to the freaking paperwork they sent back! Yes that's right, they had it. Oh and it gets better, it's the FIRST set I sent! My head is going to freaking explode. This office in Frankfurt is only open between 9 AM and Noon, lovely hours huh? Tomorrow I have PWOC and it doesn't get over until 11:30, so I'm going to RUSH home, call them and see if they're just stupid or what the issue is.
Please pray, because my frustration is so overwhelming. I just feel like I'm going to explode with all this. In the big scheme of things, no it's not THAT big of a deal. It's just one MORE thing piled onto a huge pile of things that's already over me. I just am tired of doing this all alone. I'm tired of my husband being gone every other year. I am just feeling Satan jumping up and down on me.
I need prayers.
I wrote this last night and didn't get it posted...
Ok first I have a couple of prayer requests. First one is Kelly...her Dad is with our Lord now. Please be in prayer for her, her step mom, brothers, and all that loved her Dad. She'll be flying out tomorrow to Arizona for his funeral. Kelly I'm praying for you and love you girl.
Prayers for my brother. I don't think I've asked for him yet, but on his birthday (Feb 27) he was laid off (along with so man others). He works for the Del Monte plant in Topeka and they told them it could be a couple of weeks to months. He and his wife are actually fincially ok. They have a nice savings, he has the GI Bill coming in (he has this semester paid for already), and unemployment. He's more blessed than many others, since 2 unemployment checks will pay his house payment and the rest of their bills. They are thankfully debt free other than their house so that's a tremendous relief for them... but not having a job still makes things tight. He'd told me that he wasn't cocky in having a job, but was appreciating it and doing his part to stimulate the economy. They just bought a new washer and dryer, new hard wood floors for kitchen and utility room, and a new deep freezer. I do give Praise to our Lord that they were not only blessed to be able to do those things, but still have money saved away and only owe 1 bill. He and his wife are going to college full time. They're both working hard to get finished with school as soon as possible so that they can hopefully start working in their fields. (Misty a hospital social worker and Philip a life flight nurse, eventual ER nurse).
Thank you for praying for both Kelly and my brother and his family.
Continued prayers for Trystan. He gets chemo on Mondays and Thursdays. They are searching for a bone marrow donor. Prayers they find one quickly. Prayers for his parents Sonia and Gary and sister Kharisma.
I want to say this now, this link I'm about to share was shared with me and I seriously went back and forth on even reading it, because...I can not stand Oprah. She literally makes my stomach turn. One of the most dangerous people in the world, yes I'm serious. With saying that though, this article is STILL worth reading.
http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200903_omag_milk_bank/1
As a breastfeeding mom and one who pumped and pumped and pumped while Jackson was in NICU for 8 days and ultimately had to throw away all that milk because he never had any need or interest in taking a bottle once home and on the breast full time, and had I done more research I surely could have found a place to have donated his milk. I had hoped to donate it to my friend Sonia's little boy Logan when he was alive (same Sonia who's baby Trystan who I asked for you to pray for). Unfortunately he was lactose intollerant and I could not remember if I'd had lactose foods or not (definitely didn't drink any, but good chance I'd had cheese or something during those 8 days), and at that point it was very closed to expiring.
Anyways...if THIS woman could do that, any woman can do even a small portion. We've grown to become lazy as a nation in nursing our children. Many do not even realize that formula is NOT 2nd best...it's 4th best. Breast milk, then donated breast milk, then goats milk, then formula. Yes goats milk is better for a baby than formula! These are cold hard facts, some may feel I'm casting stones, I'm not...but you still need to know the facts. Breast feeding and pumping is not easy, but once you have the hang of it it's not hard and it's so worth it! For a woman it "can" (not all women) hold of your menstural cycle (and often ovulation) for weeks to months to over a year or more. Lowers your chances for breast cancer (and if you're nursing a baby girl, lowers her chances for breast cancer), lowers your chances for ovarian cancer too. Then the immunities that the baby gets and guess what no matter how long you nurse, your baby will continue to get the immunities so if you continue to nurse past the first year and go for say 3 yrs...your child continues to get these wonderful benefits!
Anyways, I hope this gives you thought. As much as I diislike Oprah I'm glad I read this article and hopefully it will give confidence to mom's who are debating on nursing or think they can't do it, etc. We can all make up excuses, etc...but if this mom could do it....'nuf said.
God Bless
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