Stepping Outside Yourself

I'm here. Tomorrow, well ok it's 2:30 AM so it's officially today/Monday. Anyways, in the morning I was supposed to go and do interviews for our women's bible study group, for the next executive board. Unfortunately it does not look like I'll be making the first two interviews. They're two good friends of mine too, and well we're all ornery that it would have been fun to have fun with them, but no seriously it would have been a serious interview. The interviews will go on, just without me. I'm hoping by the afternoon Jack will be feeling better, or good enough for me to attend the one in the afternoon and then we have one more Tuesday afternoon.


So tell me is there anyone else who feels like there's so much on their heart that they want and need to write about, but knows that the energy (emotional) that it will take to write it all out, is so much, and it's so personal, deep in your heart, that you hold yourself back from doing so? Surely I'm not the only one. I keep it pretty real, but often don't get as deep as I want to. I have so many unpublished entries, you just do not know! There are times I am writing and find it's a conversation between me and GOD and it's simply at that time anyways, not meant for anyone else other than my own eyes to see and truly GET. Am I again the only one out there that has these unpublished entries that's more than just an entry, but your heart out there for Jesus to grab hold of?

Over the last few years I've grown in my relationship with Jesus. It's been one of tears, laughter, joy, and trampling. I've felt him calling me over and over again to step outside of my box. Let me tell you a few things about me. I truly enjoy public speaking. Seriously, I love it. It's a calling from the Lord and the times he's called me forth it's something I feel from him. He's calling me again to share a devotion at PWOC and I'm looking forward to it, but oh my the topic is what I am stepping outside of my box over. As much as I like to speak publically, praying outloud is NOT in my comfort zone. What has GOD been demanding of me though? To pray outloud, in front of others, not just a couple others, not just my family, oh no but a class full of women, and now, now do you know what he wants me to do? He wants me to tell these women they need to step out of their box and start praying like they've never prayed before. That they need to find that thing that they are so not comfortable with and start doing it. They need to start being obedient. Oh I am getting chills just thinking about this and not in the good way, but in the oh so uncomfortable way. Telling a room full of women it's time to stop staying inside their comfort zone, is NOT comfortable for me, but I KNOW, oh how I know I must be obedient. So....please start praying for me now. I have to give this devotional/testimony in 2 weeks I believe. I have to have it written up I think by this or next week. It's the week of the 16th that I give it, so I think I have to have it written up by next week.

Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for praying for my family as we've been sick this winter. It's truly insane the amount of times we've been sick. It's really ridiculous. I know all of you who've been covered in inches upon inches of snow are ready for spring, I am too. I'm ready to open up all my windows and air my home out. I'm ready to get my kids outside every day for at least 3-6 hours a day. I'm ready for us to stop being sick! About 45 minutes ago, Jackson who was sleeping in here woke up. He smelled awful and he discovered he'd had an accident. Yes we can all say it....ewwwwwww. Trust me it was eww! So he goes to the bathroom, I grab a bathing and put his nasty clothes in it, so tomorrow I can wash them, but keep them from stinking up the place until then! He asks to take a bath, I said sure. So he gets in, I'm in here on the this, and I hear "ewwww, oh no, oh no" Well the little man did NOT wipe so well. This was something I'd told him to do too! Oh nasty life lessons I tell you. So, we turn on the shower, pull the tub plug, and I wash him all up. He's running a fever and while he was in bed with me (he decided he wanted to go and try to sleep in his bed again) he was so restless. I am not one who gives meds often or quickly. I believe that fevers happen for a reason, they have a job to do, and I try not to interfere in that job, unless it's causing some true interference into the said child's life. Well this fever most definitely was. So he got some Tylenol, a nice warm shower, clean clothes, and a warm and very comfortable bed. I want him to be as comfortable as possible and to just get better.

Well since I'm sitting here falling asleep at the keyboard I'd say it's a sign that I need to sign off of here and go to sleep!

God Bless and sorry if this doesn't make sense, I may be more tired than I think I am!