Christmas

So my kids have totally lost focus of the true meaning of Christmas and I was feeling really down earlier about this. Today I took Jack out to shop for Jacob. He kept talking about what HE wanted and I was fed up and told him if he kept it up, every time he talked about what HE wanted, I was taking a gift away that was under the tree. I know, MEAN MOM! LOL It worked. Then I told him that it was really sad to me that he was so concerned about gifts, when he should be focusing on Jesus and that maybe we needed to do something different and should not be doing gifts at all. He of course got really quiet and I know, I know...he's 5. But I just felt like I was failing this child who I know loves God and knows that Christmas is the celebration of Christ's birth, yet he can be very self-centered...again I know shocking for a 5 yr old. I expect more though. I want their hearts to be so about Jesus that they can't think of anything else.

The problem with that though is am I? Is my own heart so absorbed into Jesus that he's all I think about, that he's all I focus on, and is Christmas to me all about Jesus? The reality is, the answer to all those questions is a very sad and humbling no. How can my children be centered around our Lord, if I'm not doing it myself. If they see me stressing over gifts and such, then why won't they? So...tomorrow we're going to start making it all about Jesus.

Tomorrow's focus during bible will be on Jesus and no one else. How he works in our life even today. I want him to be the complete focus. I'm also working out in my head right now, on how to show examples and various acts of Jesus every day in the year 2009. I want 2009 to be ALL ABOUT JESUS for our family. I'm going to comit to memorizing verses, being a good example to my children, and for us as a family to be spending more time in the bible, in prayer, in living as Jesus tells us to live...than living of this world. I've done that too much and it's time to stop!

So will you pray for me and our family? I have to talk to Chad too and share with him my heart and idea's. I am sure he'll be encouraging and very supportive. My hope is that he can do this with us, even all the way in Iraq! What an example he'd be to his soldiers!!!

We're at 6 days now until Christmas. I almost think I enjoy Christmas Eve as much as Christmas Day. We always read from the bible the birth of our Lord. Some of my favorite pictures are of the boys listening to Chad last year read from the bible Christ's birth story! I think Emma will really enjoy it this year, as she LOVES being read to, too! I always let the kids open one gift on Christmas Eve...new pj's. Jacob's figured this out now, but no matter we'll continue with this tradition. I can know that when they get up in the morning to open gifts they have on cute pj's and not just their underoo's ! LOL On Christmas Eve we will go to the Christmas Eve service, which is just such a special gift to me. I keep the kids with me (not sure if I'll keep Emma or not). The service is always unique and special. There's always special music, a complete focus on Jesus, and it ends with everyone lighting their candles, the lights being turned off, and the congregation singing Silent Night in English and German. It's beautiful, touching, and I ALWAYS cry!
This year we've been invited to go to a friends home after the service for cookies and hot chocolate and fellowship. I plan to have our cookies already done so we should be able to do this without issue. Once home we'll do our bible reading and gift opening. I'll let the kids watch Polar Express, then I'm sure it'll be time to set out cookies and milk and off to bed after prayers.

I have to say it's a balancing act. To truly raise our children to focus this day on the Lord and his birth and not be focused on themselves and Santa. I want this desperately for them. I did not have that at all as a child, and know what I missed out on, I don't want my children to miss out on the true meaning of this celebration.

Well, it's late and I'm EXHAUSTED.

God Bless and Merry CHRISTMAS