It's a long one, more whining, and a few other things....

I'm in a funk tonight. Jack is now sick. He had a fever that reached 104. I gave him some motrin and it started dropping FAST. He ate toast for dinner, drank some water and slept pretty well all afternoon and evening and is sleeping in my bed now. I'm so tired of this junk. Emma's molar is coming in and she's been an absolute joy. I think *** that's what her fever was from on Friday, could be wrong, it could have been a bug her body was fighting, but with her crackiness and the way she's waking up at night, I'm leaning towards the molar and anyone who says teething doesn't cause fevers, yeah..um..what ever. She's #4, we've been down this road before.

I haven't talked to B yet. Had a little cry over her today too. I haven't called and need to. Have to say that being at church this morning it was just blah. Jack sat beside me (during church is when his fever came on) and he layed on the pew (we were all alone on our pew after the kids left and he was never around other kids, but had I known before church we would not have gone). He didn't feel all that hot during church, a little on the warm side. I'm really NOT one of those parents who knowingly brings their sick kid to church, that's actually a HUGE pet peave and I think I've blogged enough about us staying home from events because of illness that people know that. Anyways, we scrapped our plans of going to the Christmas market downtown and stayed home for Jackson to rest.

I have to say right now I feel so selfish. Feeling so alone. I KNOW others care. I know I'm blessed with friends right here in our community as well as in the states. I talk to Emily almost daily. Talk to Tami quite a bit. Yet I just have such an emptiness inside of me right now. Let me just be blunt here. It sucks to have your two biggest support systems gone. Having Chad gone is HARD. VERY hard. I'm totally co-dependent on the man and I like it that way. I am a person who likes to have her husband around to take care of things. I don't like gross jobs like taking out the trash. I don't like cleaning out the fridge, yuck. I like being pampered a little. Then to have B leave in the midst of this deployment, where we're not even half way through...just sucks. I hate it. I feel abandoned. I know, I know I'm not...but I'm stuck in this stupid pity party right now and honestly I'm not sure when I'm going to pull myself out of it. I know it has to be soon. Because I am tired of writing the same junk over and over and I'm sure if you're reading this, you're tired of reading it too.

I have been seeking God so much lately. Reading God's word, delving into prayer, just having conversations with him. If anything through this my relationship is growing deeper. I'm definitely spending more time with him, as I should. Yet I still have such emptiness and sadness looming over me.

Here's another confession. I've been lying. Everyone asks me "how are you" and I say with a CHEERFUL smile "oh good" or even worse "Really great actually". I know it doesn't seem like it from what you read, but I can't stand pity. It annoys the daylights out of me. So faking it, or reality is...lying about how I am is easier. Satan I know, it's Satan. He's been winning that one without a doubt.

Oh I've been asked to sign during our offering at church any Sunday I want, any song I want. Our Praise and Worship Leader called and asked me to sing and told me that he'll accompany me, or if I have a track, what ever I want, when ever I want. So I'm trying to decide on a song. Right "now" it's between Casting Crowns: "Does Anybody Hear Her", and Shane and Shane's "Be Near". I feel more pulled to CC's song, but feel more confident singing Be Near. Of course it may end up being a totally different song. I've also played around with the idea of Mark Shultz's song "He's My Son". So if you'd pray for me on that, that God will make it clear to me what I'm to sing for HIM.

Ok I'm off.

Day to Day

I went to PWOC (bible study) on Wednesday. I got there a bit late, because I wasn't sure if I was going or not. I was sad, hurting, and honestly didn't want to be around anyone else, not even those who love me and were aching for me and with me. I know I wasn't the only one who loved B and who miss her. We're doing a Secret Sister's in our group and mine is the sweetest. She wrote out the words to the song "Friends" by Michael W. Smith. It's a song I know and love and have sang for years. She also gave me stamps and note cards. What a fabulous gift, huh?!
The sister I have, I don't know very well, so finding gifts for her is a little difficult for me, just for the fact that this time around we didn't get any information on their likes or dislikes. I just try my best and do what I can to give her some sweet reminder that she's loved.

I was planning on putting up our tree today, but Emma had a fever come on this afternoon. She woke up from her nap with it. I should have known something was coming since she barely ate breakfast and fell asleep before lunch and slept right through it and had no interest in lunch. She did eat dinner fairly well so that was good and she had a light snack. I need to get some oranges and tangerines. She loves them and natural Vitamin C will do a girl good. She was just wanting to be held and nursing so bringing up the tree and all our decorations was just not an option. The boys were VERY disappointed so I promised them that we'll do it tomorrow. So tomorrow we're going to be busy putting up our tree, hanging ornaments, sharing laughter, hot chocolate, and possibly playing in the snow that they're calling for (for tomorrow and Sunday). I need to get all 3 kids snow suits. There's a 2nd hand shop near by that I'm hoping to find snowsuits for them at. Hopefully I can go next week and get them.

So far I've not talked to B yet. I have her inlaws and her parents number so tomorrow I'm going to give her a call and see how their flight was, how Thanksgiving was, and just how they are in general. I miss her so much. Today when I drove by their apartment they had started renovations on their apartment. They must be starting with the bathroom. They had a truck that has a ladder/belt that goes up to their windows so they can take everything out of the apartment easier and it was lined up with the bathroom window. I will admit I dread the day someone moves into their apartment. It could be someone who's a future friend, but it'll always be B's home. I miss her and that's just reality. God's blessed me with so many amazing friends right here that I'm well taken care of and I can only praise our Lord for that.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope today you and your family focus on all you have to be thankful for.

To be an American and our freedom's.

For those of you who like me are Christians,

That Christ died for US.

For your family, even in all its craziness would you trade them?

For our Military men and women.

I for one am especially grateful that I'm married to a man who's chosen to give up years to serve his country. There's only 4 % of all American's who walk this path of service and I'm so grateful to be married to a man who's willing to do it day in and day out.

For our homes, each of us as a warm place to be.

Focus on the good in your life.

Life is precious my friends, be thankful for each day you have, because tomorrow is not promised for a single one of us. It's not promised for you, your spouse, or even your children. I know this very well. Live well, live through love, live for Christ.

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's Thursday, it's Thanksgiving and I am truly thankful!

I am thankful for my Lord, God Almighty, King of Kings, Christ Jesus.

I am thankful for Chad, a man who's strong in his decisions in his life as a man after God's heart, a husband, father, and soldier.

I am thankful for my children. Oh what a blessing they are, even when I'm stressed from them I adore them.

I am thankful for friends, some are in our daily lives while others are more on the phone, and some on the Internet. God's brought each into my life for a purpose and I'm truly thankful for each.

I am thankful to be an American. Free to have the pursuit of happiness (not the guarantee of it though).

I am thankful for the little things of life that make it mundane and absolutely special all at once.

I am thankful for today. For a day where we stop for a moment and remember to be thankful, what we should do on a daily basis, but many of us fail miserably at. So although we should be in a constant state of thanksgiving, I'm truly thankful we have a day where it's our focus.

I am thankful that my family is so blessed to live currently in Germany and that we have so many traveling opportunities as we have.

I am thankful that no matter what, we have a Lord who is sovereign over everything.

I am thankful that Emily's baby girl who's growing inside of her is healthy.

Contest, Contest!!!

So I came across a blog and it's a fun one and right now they're having a contest and will be giving away a DVD. It's a Children's DVD! Go check it out over here at Home Ec 101. If you'd like a chance at winning Lizzie Swan's newest then go on over and then check out the rest of their blog! :)

#300..and go check it out

Well, here's my 300th post and with it I bring joyous news. I'm blessed with FOUR, count them 4 best friends besides our Lord. Chad of course, Tami, B, and Emily. Tami has seen me through my darkest of days, as I have her. We went through those days together and through 2 pregnancies together. B, well I think I've wrote so much about her the last couple weeks that you know how my heart feels about her. Emily, many of you know her already and if you don't, why not? I met her online, on a pregnancy board when she was pg with her oldest and I was pg with Jack. I talk to her nearly everyday on the phone for hours, we go from laughing to yelling (at our kids of course). There's not much she doesn't know about me and me about her!
Last year as I rejoiced in Emma's birth, she grieved in the loss of her beautiful Miller Grace (that's her name..it's NOT Miller...it's Miller Grace). Miller Grace lived for 5 of the most precious days of Emily's life and left a mark on thousands.
Well Emily's expecting again and she's just shared all about who she's welcoming with it be a boy this time or is it little girl #4???? I know, so do quite a few others, but if you don't...go find out! :) The name is perfect that she's picked out for this newest addition.

God is good, even in our sorrow, he's so good. Emily shared with me a verse that she knew I needed tonight. Psalm 30:5....It's at the end of my last post, or you can just look it up yourself.

On a side note...thanks for reading. This is my 300th entry here, and I've written well over 700 on my old AOL blog and can't recall how many our our deployment blog. I love to write, it's theraputic. We won't talk about all the blogs I've written and never published! Sometimes it's just theraputic for me to write, but not share. I can get out anger, sadness, and just a various range of emotions writing. Thank you for the prayers, for the kind and loving words. Now go visit
Emily and find out her news!

And another chapter begins

(B and I last night at my house before she went to the hotel...)


She's gone. The tears have been flowing easily, fast, and hard today. The reality is, it hurts. The miles are great, there's an ocean between us, or soon will be. They're over the ocean as I type this and should be landing soon. They will spend Thanksgiving with them and I'm truly happy for them that they get this. I called both B and T's families and let them know that they were taking off on time. T's mom was wonderful and so kind and that sweet woman comforted me as I started to cry again, asking her to hug B for me and tell her that I loved her one more time.







I honestly feel like I have a brick on my chest. There's a lump that just will not go down no matter how hard I swallow, and my eyes are starting to hurt from all the crying. I knew it'd hurt, I knew I'd cry...I did not expect this. Coming back I had to concentrate more on driving because of construction so I didn't cry very much driving back. Once I got onto post though, the tears started streaming hard and fast. There's not a single spot on this post that does not remind me of her. We walked all over this post and a good portion of the city over the last 2 1/2 yrs. I have to drive by their old apartment everytime I leave, there is no other option. I KNOW that as the days, weeks, and months go by the hurt will leave and joy will take over. I have so many wonderful memories with B and I don't want a single person to think that I do not appreciate them. I am so thankful to GOD for bringing B into my life, and for giving me this friendship that I prayed for, wept for, longed for. He's a faithful God and does as he promises. I know he's not left me in my time of sadness. I know he's wrapping his arms around me. I know I'm not alone.



One of the greatest blessings for today was that my children were well taken care of. My friend A took the 3 kids. I had to drop them off at 6:30 AM this morning and she was there with a smile on her face and open arms. Oh how blessed I am. She's leaving in 3 weeks and I dread her parting as well. I adore her and love her as well and her oldest son is a good friend of Jacob's and her younger son is Jack's friend. I ache for my children as they're getting one blow after another.



Please keep them in your prayers, as their hearts are so tender.







A little bit ago my friend Heather called. She let me cry then made me laugh. How precious is that woman? What a gift huh?!! How God has blessed me with friends is so unimaginable to me. I wish you all understood just how thankful I am for the way God's blessed me with friends. Growing up I always had friends. I thrived on them and with them. Throughout college friends, in the beginning years of marriage and mothering friends. When we moved back to Ks I hardly knew anyone. We lived off post and I didn't know a sole in our apartment building. I did go back to work and had friends there. Then after I had Jacob we moved on post and had some wonderful neighbors and loved them. I was blessed once again. When I got pg with Jackson, we moved to a 3 bedroom house and I was friends with 2 of my neighbors, but we were not that close. It is hard for me to explain, but I never felt I could share my heart completely with them. I can remember crying to Emily and Tami on how lonely I was. I wanted friends, close to me. I wanted good friends to hang out with. We did have good friends from church and it hurt so much to leave, it was just different. Then we moved here and it took a little while, but then B moved here and wow, we hit it off immediately and before we knew it we were spending all our time together it seemed like. When her husband was deployed, 5 to 6 nights out of the week she was here. Hanging out, having dinner. We spent our days together and she just became a part of our family. Our husband's really liked each other, our kids loved each other. It's what I prayed for.







Tonight I'm allowing the hurt to just be. I'm allowing God to use this hurt for his good, and I know it will. I'm going to let the tears flow, the sadness be what it is, and just breath as much as I can.







B and I saying goodbye at the airport

********Thank you Emily for bringing this verse to my attention tonight....

Psalm 30:5
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

New Blog Find

Ok, so I'm a blog hopper. I read other's comments (after I leave my own, normally) and often will just click on a random commenter who I've not read before. Most times than not, I find another blog to read (just what I need, add to the obsession!). Well tonight as I'm reading Lori, I come across a new blog that I've never seen!! My new find is Leslie. Ok to a degree she makes me sick, because she's so insanely talented and crafty. She's what I WANT To be, yet am not! Go take a look! I've not explored her whole blog yet, but what I've seen so far I love!
Oh and another plus, she's respectful of our Current President and a Republican! Can't go wrong there! hehe!! And well she has a fun song playing too! LOL

On another note, my cat is being tormented by our latest inheritance from B. The fish tank and fish. Which is currently sitting on my dining room table (not thrilled about THAT and really not happy about the fact that it's leaking it appears, it's a small leak, it appears. It has a pad under it the way it is and I now have a towel under that). Anyways, Whiskers is just watching the fish and you can tell she's trying to figure out HOW she can get them. If you recall, she killed our bird last year. Whiskers came into our family Christmas morning and with in a week or two managed to show she was a TRUE cat and ate our canary. I will say I was not personally very sad about it. The bird annoyed the daylights out of me and I was TRYING to find him a new home, well he found one...in Whisker's belly. I think what I was most disturbed by, was the fact that she killed the bird and ate him under our Christmas tree. Having to comfort the boys, was definitely the worst of it. Thankfully we're all over that, but we know Whiskers has it in her to eat her prey! :X Thankfully it has a lid on the tank and right now she's just sitting on the chair WATCHING, intently. LOL Poor Whiskers, just wants to do what's ingrained in her and we're mean and won't let her! LOL

Ok, I'm off. My bed is calling me. I've not gotten a lot of sleep the last few days (ok I rarely get a good amount of sleep) but tonight I think I can and will. Crying is tiring!

Almost gone

Our days are practically done with B and her family. Their son is here tonight, I don't know if this is his last night here or if tomorrow will be. They move into the hotel tomorrow and spend one night there, then Tuesday morning I take them to the airport.

I know it seems like all I've done is blog about them leaving, but it's just all I can think about. I am smiling quite a bit, but the tears just flow very easily right now and I have to say today was by and far the hardest of them all. They were fare-welled at church and oh goodness. It actually started before they were FW. When we started singing, the first song just knocked me off my feet and the tears started flowing. B was crying too, we were both a mess. I couldn't even look at her because it just made it worse. She handed me a tissue and I wondered why I even bothered with the make up. A friend of ours was telling me tonight that she kept watching the two of us and when one of us would wipe a tear, the other was was soon to follow. Neither of us were even looking at each other, yet the tears were flowing none the less.

Another new friend (I'm just starting to get to know her) came and just wrapped her arms around me as soon as she heard the Chaplain say B's name. She just let me sob in her arms and offered for me to stop at her home on my way back from the airport. God's so good to me, to show me that there are new friends to be made and become closer to.

I have to say though, I have never had a friend like B before as an Army wife and I'm SO blessed by her friendship. I prayed for the kind of friendship we have for nearly 10 yrs! He gave me my hearts cry and filled a void that was in my heart. It has been so much more than I ever thought I'd be able to have. I praise him that he allowed me to have B in my day to day life the way he has for the last 2 1/2 yrs. I know we'll always remain close and she's always going to be a huge part of my heart. I'm still going to miss her. If you don't have that friend that you can just hang out with and laugh with face to face, I hope you find her. When God brings you that gift, it's just that a gift. It's just what you longed for, even when you didn't always know you were longing for it! (I did know though! LOL).

Tomorrow I'm going to have her husband take a couple pictures of just the two of us. I'm going to get all my make up on and try to look all nice and have a couple really good pictures taken. Then I plan on having them printed off and let it be part of her Christmas present. I just have to find a frame for it, or maybe I'll go to the matting and framing shop and make one! We'll see! :) I intend to keep one for me and frame it, so we have a matching photograph. I want to get some pictures of our kids all together too, all 5 of them and ones of just the girls and one of just the boys. Then I'll have those printed off and frame those for her and me too.

Right now I'm listening to the giggles of Jacob and (little) B laughing as they're watching Ice Age. Jack's asleep in the living room. He's been enjoying "camping out" as he calls it the last few nights. When B's gone, he'll be back in his room. I will say that last night was the first night he slept out here alone and I am not sure where the older boys will crash. I don't care where they sleep or really what time they fall asleep. We don't have to be up and going anywhere tomorrow so we can all sleep in. I am hoping Emma does too, her nap was short today and she was up later than usual.

Pray for us tomorrow if you would. Tomorrow at some point the boys will say goodbye. I feel nausious just thinking about it. My heart just breaks for my little boys. My heart breaks for B too. I asked him tonight if he was excited and he said "yes" and I asked him if he was scared and he said "very". He was so little when they moved to Europe (they lived in Italy for 3 yrs before moving up here to Germany), so he was just 3 yrs old. He doesn't have any memories of actually LIVING in the US, just the few visits they've done. He said he didn't want to leave us. I know he'll make friends fast, he's a great boy. But please pray for them. It's going to be quite an adjustment for all of them. The US is far more fast paced than it is here. It's one thing to visit the US I think they've gone back twice in almost 6 yrs, it's another to jump back into it full force, living.

I promise I'll stop whining soon! I do see all the blessings in my life and B is a huge one. Speaking of blessings, Chad was able to get online tonight!! We were able to chat for about an hour! It was so nice. He's doing well. Still frustrated over his weight. He's been stuck at a platue for a while now and so he could use your prayers on that aspect and of course for his safety!! We chatted about what we're getting the kids for Christmas and what he's going to be specifically getting them! He's going to see if he can find the Emma a jewelry box. I'm hoping he has her name engraved on it! We're getting the boys a Wii so he's planning on getting them Rock band (comes with the drum, guitar, mics).
It's nice to have just normal conversations with him. I know it helps get his mind off of the realities that he is dealing with constantly other wise. We have also marked 6 months down of this deployment....just 9 to go. Wow, that's so overwhelming. To think normally we'd be half way done. But I will not digress. We're going to get through this deployment just as we have all the others. He'll be home in a couple months for R&R! I'm excited for that!!

Ok, until later....

Snow, Snow, Snow

We got our first snow today!!!! We were at a birthday party and one of my friends husbands comes and tells us it was snowing. We didn't believe him (even with him being a chaplain! LOL) since we'd JUST been out there loading the gifts into the vehicle. But there it was coming down so heavy and FAST. All the vehicles were totally covered in snow! It left a good amount on the ground and all the kids were soooo excited!

It quit before we even left, but there was snow on the ground so when we got home the boys each made a snowball and threw at each other. Then we were upstairs and booking it. I had to take the kids to B's house, the babysitters were arriving there shortly. I grabbed the pizza's, air popper, popcorn, paperplates, a few toys, diaper bag, and Emma and we were off. Dropped the kids off, put the pizza in the oven, waited for the 1st pizza to get done, served everyone, put the next pizza into the oven, made sure the babysitters knew it was in and to listen for the timer, then we were off to Bingo! Snow still covered the ground, they'd already started scraping the streets and salting the sidewalks, which was nice so we didn't slip on our way to the high school multipurpose room (aka cafeteria!). We played Bingo, didn't win, but still had fun. It was 3 hours of a break, having adult conversations and lots of laughter, and my last Bingo with B.

We got back to B's place, I gathered everything, the boys asked if Little B could stay the night, so he got his clothing gathered, and he came home with us. I dropped off our babysitter's at their homes, and we came home and the kids started playing and they're all now camping out in the living room.

Tomorrow evening the Hospitality House is having a Bon Fire. I'm bringing hot dog buns. It'll be fun! We went last year and had a great time. Emma was so tiny last year. I remember her all bundled up. This year I'll be chasing her around in the snow! I need to see if anyone has a couple chairs I can borrow, because ours were old and worn out and we trashed them and I never bought any this spring. Not a smart move! Hopefully I can find someone who has some, that I can use!

It is supposed to snow tomorrow, Sunday, and Monday. Oh and in case I didn't state it yet...it's soooooooooooooooooooooooooo cold! I will say that at least it's snowing since it's cold! LOL
I'll get some pictures of the kids in the snow tomorrow. Oh Emma touched some snow today and she was NOT impressed. She pulled her hand back and said "NO, brr". LOL! We'll see how she does tomorrow! I really need to get the kids new snow suits! I'm hoping either this week or next to go to a German 2nd hand shop and grab snow suits for the kids. Jacob needs snow boots and so does Emma. Hopefully I can find them there, so I can have them set. I hope this is only the beginning of a snowy winter!

A Meme

I got this from Linda who got it from Suzanne who got it from another blogger! Join in...

Super simple...You just highlight the things you've done in your life. Mine are in bold.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (from the beach)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
l24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Now you know way more about me than you ever really wanted to...

You're Going To Miss This

Tonight this will pretty well be about my friend B who is leaving on Tuesday, so just bare with me as I type through the tears.

I'm going to miss seeing B everyday, holding little D in my arms and kissing that sweet head. Having a true best friend right here to hang out with practically anytime I want. Oh how I'm going to miss that.

Going on walks, pushing strollers together, while the boys run or bike ahead of us. Listening to their laughter, sharing our own laughter. Having a friend to vent to, who doesn't judge me, just loves me.

Warm days at the park, sitting and talking for hours while the kids play.


Drop of the hat shopping trips or travels


Sitting together at church and lunch afterwards, I'm definitely going to miss that.

Her hugs

Having a a sister of the heart here with me.

Having someone I'm open to be silly and totally goofy with and who's just as silly and goofy, and cracking up afterwards.

Haircut

Well there it is. Not a good picture, a "self portrait". I see bags under my eyes..yikes and the eye brows really need to be waxed, hopefully I can get that done next week! I have a gift certificate for the day spa and I'm going to use a portion of it for those brows, get a massage one day, and either a manicure or pedicure...might be able to get both (the gc was for a large amount!)!! Who knows maybe I'll see if someone will watch my kids and do it all in one day! A full spa treatment, we'll see!

But either way, the hair is cut, much healthier, and so easy to care for...just wash and go, with a little mouse so it's not all frizzy. Although I admit that's all I was doing with it when it was long too, (it was about at my bra line) I had at least 6-7 inches cut. I had it cut once in July when I was in the states and had meant to go back one more time before coming back, but it didn't happen. It would have been much cheaper that's for sure, but I do like my hairdresser here and the last time I had it cut there she did it and I liked it then too! (That's when I cut it for Locks of Love).

Well I'm off to finish putting the shelves into the shrunk, then to figure out what I'm putting in it! More pictures of the "finished" project to come!

New-Old Furniture!

It's here!! I still have to add more screws to the back of my hutch/shrunk and have to put the shelves in, will do that in a bit, but I love it! It was interesting getting it home but let me tell you just how blessed I am to have the friends I have and that these friends have friends in the right place! LOL The friend who had the Expidition which we loaded the shrunk in, called the MP's to get their truck to bring the back of the hutch home. We had carried my old desk down, well wait I should say my downstairs neighbor and Heather's husband carried it down and B's husband helped. While waiting on the MP's we decided since we had the Expidition unloaded (I'd driven it home while the owner waited for the MP's) we'd go get the "new" desk from B's and get it up here, by the time we got it here the back of the hutch was here and they got the hutch put together.









During all of this Heather was here and kept Emma. The boys had been at SAS (an after school program, ultimately) and B picked them up for me and took them back to her home and then when we came and got the desk she walked the boys and her kids over here.









I made biscuits and gravy for dinner and taught B how to make gravy. T (B's husband) ate 4 1/2 servings! LOL My boys both each had 2 bowls, B had 2 helpings. It was definitely a hit! :) B thinks she can make it now, and I have no doubt she can!!









Over the next couple of days I'll be getting my desk set back up and get the hutch filled with "treasures" that will fill it's spots! Here's a couple pictures of the hutch/shrunk and the desk.









The "new" desk. On the other side of the desk is 2 small built in shelves that you could set something cute on, of course with all the wires I doubt you'll ever be able to see that side!! I'd love to have a roll top desk and keep this desk, so maybe one day we could have both desks and use this for more of a writing/bill desk or even scrapbooking or something, even though I have a craft table. Or a homeschool desk, we'll see!



This is the front view of the shrunk.



Here's a full view of it. It's beside the desk, there's a small space which for now I have our wooden tv trays there, it's not where they are going to go, but until I get everything figured it...it works! I am pretty sure I'm going to move our table around I may actually move the shrunk, I have a small wall that I believe it will fit perfectly on and be more of a center piece there. I will measure it tonight or tomorrow and see if it'll fit. Right now my buffet is there, so we'll have to see if I can move them or get someone to help me move them!

Oh and today I also got my hair cut! I am loving it. It's a little shorter than I wanted, but it's ok, it'll grow! It's chin length (I was wanting it between chin and shoulder, but hey it's naturally curly it's kind of hard to get it just right sometimes!). I do like it and it's easy and no fuss. I'll see about getting a picture of me soon! :)

Not Me Monday

I do NOT look forward to Monday throughout the week because of "Not Me Monday" and try to remember all the things that happen all week to put on here, nope not me!

I did not find myself crying off and on all this past week because my best friend is moving back to the states and then all the way to Arizona and is leaving in 8 days, not me, I am not a cryer.

I did not hold my boys as they sobbed into my arms because their best friend is leaving (in EIGHT days)

On a lighter note...I did NOT, repeat did not have fun shopping for purses in Czech Republic with said best friend and another good friend on Saturday. No, I can't stand shopping, hate batering, and absoltely detest walking away with a fabulous deal!

I did not lay on the couch all morning long because of a migrane and ignore my children the best I could, throwing a pillow over my head and praying for silence.

I did not forget that Emily was leaving today and flying to speak in North Carolina today, and get totally bummed out when I talked to her husband and had to banter with him for a few minutes.

I did not get happy when she called ME from the airport.

I did not stress out today over my computer not working and thinking it had crashed. No, I would not worry about something such as that.

I did not get all giddly when my husband called me this evening. I do not ever feel like a teenager when I see the caller id and his number show up.

I did not want to reach through the computer and slap a woman because she denies Christ, because of course I would not be a good example then for slapping her would I? I mean it doesn't annoy me beyond belief that she says "You believe what ever you want, it doesn't matter to me" yet she argues with those who are Christians CONSTANTLY. That does NOT annoy me. I'm a gentle soul, I do not argue with people and never want to shake them and tell them to WAKE UP to the truth.

I have not put off cleaning off this desk or my craft table today knowing friends are delivering my new Antique shrunk/hutch tomorrow at 5 PM. I will not procrastinate until tomorrow and then freak out and clean like a crazy woman and shove everything into my bedroom, no I'm far more organized than THAT!

I did not get humbled off my butt yesterday by a friend who blessed me with a gift, after having a mini whine to another friend, and did not have to repent to friend. Nope not me, God never does that to tell me to shut up does he??

Ok if you want to join in, make sure you click on the Not Me Monday logo up top, read the rules, and join in!!!

Our day in Czech and black eyes

B and I went to Czech today and another friend came along too! We had a great time. She bought 5 purses and a really big Coach bag and I got 7 purses today, 4 for Heather and 2 for Emily, and one for me. I also got Emma a rocking chair. I want to stain it, right now it's all natural. I need to decide just how dark I want it. I've never stained anything before so if anyone has any tips on the best way of going about it let me know. It's going to be a Christmas gift for Emma! B got one for her little girl too. Both girls played/rocked in B's girls tonight. It was sweet watching them and they both loved it, so I definately know it'll be well loved and used gift for Miss E. I also got Emma 2 pairs of PJ's and a shirt. B got 2 sweaters. Our friend who came got her a pair of earrings and a bottle of perfume.

The boys stayed with B's husband, T. They and our friend's husband went to Tuckerland's. It's an indoor play area. So between the two men they had 6 children 8 and under! T had his two B & D and my boys and then our friends husband had their two children! They had a great time, but in the process of it all Jacob ended up with a black eye! On one of the things that the he can swing from, he fell off (not a far drop) and it came back and hit him smack dab on his right eye. When I got to B's home this evening, I immediately noticed the dark circle and by the time Emma and I left there was a good deal of swelling. He had an ice pack on his eye. There's also a good size red mark above his eye. I will not be surprised if his eye is swollen shut tomorrow and completely black and blue. I know it has to be sore, but he never complained about it. B emailed me and said it was more swollen about an hour or so after I'd left. If you'd add that to your prayer list I'd appreciate it!

Thankfully Jack had an uneventful, but fun time and no bruises or black eyes for him! :) Both boys are having a sleep over at B's house. I am going to see if B can sleep over here next weekend, that'll be their last chance. Which reminds me...they leave in 10 days. It really seems surreal to me, that they will not be here for Thanksgiving, or ever again possibly. I just keep pushing that lump in my throat down as hard as absolutely possible. It's a little hard right at this moment to get it down. God truly blessed me with B and her friendship. I wish you could all understand just how much it means to me. I never truly believed I could have another Army wife friend as good as she is to me. I have always wanted it, seen it with others, but never had it for my own. She's irreplaceable and one of the most special people in my life. I'm trying to pick the perfect going away gift for her right now. Another friend asked if I was getting her something and I said I was but wasn't exactly sure what. I know one thing, it's a throw with the name of the city we live in on it. I have one and she's mentioned many times how much she likes it, so I'm going to pick it up on Tuesday. I want to get her something else too, just not sure what yet. I'm hoping by Tuesday her Christmas gift is here, because Wednesday the movers come and I know it'd be much easier if it could be packed up with their belongings verses me having to mail it to her in Arizona in December.

I guess I should try to get to bed. I do have a book waiting for me to read! :) Tomorrow is a busy day. We have church, I need to come home and clean, work on laundry (washing and putting away), work with the boys for a bit on their Awana verses, and then head to Awana. We have this week and next, then off for Thanksgiving weekend. I need to work on a school schedule this week as well and go over everything to see what we need for any projects this week.

Good night

Thankful Thursday

I know, I said no more, but I decided...why not! :)

Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

I am thankful to our Lord, who died on a cross for each of us so we may be forgiven of our sins.

I am thankful for the husband that God blessed me with 11 1/2 yrs ago, in Chad. He's a man of faith, substance, determination, devotion, love, strength, and courage. He's my hero.

I am thankful that Chad stands firmly on his belief that we must defend our country and that she's worth fighting for, even when the public has determined it's not the popular choice. He's part of the only 4 % of all who is serving in the US Military. Pretty sad number isn't it.

I am thankful for my children. They have taught me so much...how much I could truly love, how hard I can laugh, how deeply to the soul I could ache. Jordyn made me a mother and her 2 yrs on this earth was the greatest gift God could ever have given me.

I am thankful for my Army wife friends. I have never been as blessed with the abundance of army wife friends as I have living here. I have found a best friend and friends who have such a grip on my heart, they've helped me in ways they will NEVER know.

I am thankful for my civilian world friends. Emily and Tami are the best friends a woman could ask for. It's truly hard to imagine them not being in my life, because they're such an integeral part of it now. How blessed am I to have these two amazing women in my life.

I am thankful for my internet friends, who make me laugh, cry, smile, and just remind me that friends come from all different ways, places, and God has had a hand in it every which way!

I am thankful for my can of Pepsi! Hey some of you have coffee, I have Pepsi! LOL I am guessing my children are thankful for that little blue can too! ROFL

Blessed

Tonight has been such a great example of how blessed I am! My friend Heather who many of you prayed for this past spring through summer and I have spent most the evening going back and forth calling each other. She makes me laugh so hard, to know that she knows the Kid Rock song, cracks me up. She's a good Southern girl, who's husband is a chaplain.
I'm having an antique Polish shrunk/hutch brought home on Tuesday. Heather's husband, B's husband, my friend A's husband and my downstairs neighbor are all helping to accomplish that and to get rid of this heavy old desk and bring over B's "old" (but far newer than what we have right now) desk. How blessed am I?

God has surrounded me with all these amazing women and I've never had this before, to this extent. Since we moved to Germany God has placed one friend in my life after another and I just am awestruck to be honest. I'm losing my best friend here, and she's concerned more about me than herself, which just speaks of one of the millions of reasons I love that girl. Then A who's leaving next month is concerned about me and her other friends who she's leaving behind. Heather's staying put for now and I'm so happy! If you knew her, you'd love her too! I am just astonished at just how many women I know who've wrapped their arms around me knowing how hard B leaving is on me. I've been so focused on how sad I am and what I am losing, that I've been blinded to see just all that I will have left. Let me tell you, I have more than I deserve in the friends that will remain. I have friends who will watch my children at the drop of a hat, who'll bring soup over to me with just one phone call, if I need it, I just need to ask. They love me for me. They know me and still love me and let me tell you that's impressive in my book! I'm pretty much an open book on most things.

I'm done whining and complaining about my friends moving. This is a part of the Army life and it's hard yes, but God's provided for me. He knows I have other friends waiting in the wings to wrap me up in their arms and reassure me that I am NOT alone. That I don't have to finish out this deployment without friendship, support, and love. How in the world could I have lost sight of that?

I talked to Chad tonight too. Oh that man is so wonderful! God just blesses me in every direction let me tell you! He's been kind of down in the dumps lately too. I've asked people to pray for him and oh he HAS been surrounded in prayer let me tell you! He sounded just so full of joy tonight. I could just hear his smile! Do you know what that does for my heart? To know my man has God fighting for him and showing him the joy he has in his life, even in Iraq?!!! If you're one who's been praying for him, THANK YOU! Don't stop! But thank you! He told me he truly FEELS those prayers surrounding him! Oh how blessed we are!

I think Emma's finally on the mend. I will say I say that with a little trepidation, but she ate dinner tonight. No fever and a lot of smiles. Whew! Thank you for praying for my baby girl. The boys are both in good spirits too! They were being crazy, silly kids when I was talking to Chad and him hearing the craziness of our family was making him laugh! It brought me such joy. I often get so caught up in the craziness, I forgot to appreciate it! I don't want to take these moments for granted. They're blessed times and I know that.

So with that, tell me, what are your blessings? I know many of you do Thankful Thursdays, so it can go along those lines, but it's more than that...what are you so overwhelmingly blessed with in your life? None of us deserve these blessings, yet God's allowed us to have them none the less, so share, please. I love to read about other people's blessings!

It just keeps going

Wow I can't believe it's been 3 days since I last wrote. I've thought about it every day, but life's crazy I tell you. Emma threw up again last night. I really thought yesterday she was finally better and then as I was literally taking her to bed, she threw up down my back. Oh nasty, nasty, nasty. She nursed all night last night. I woke up in a mood, of please just let my body be mine for a while. She's nursed a lot still today so I know she doesn't feel wonderful yet. Please pray. My body is TIRED.

I did get to talk to Chad last night and that was so good. I cried to the poor, worn out man. He listened, loved me, and encouraged me. What would I do without him? He's hoping to call us tonight to talk to the kids too. He'd just woken up to use the restroom and saw I was signed on, of course I was on the couch so I didn't hear him and so he decided to just call me! After he ran out of his phone card, he got back online and we chatted for a while.

This weekend Bobbie and I are going to Czech again! We're going purse shopping! I'm planning on getting myself a purse and maybe a really pretty bag, like an over night bag. I have a ton to do tonight and tomorrow, since I won't be home on Saturday. I have laundry to get done, my dining room has to get cleaned, because it is a disaster. I also have to take my craft table down, I never use it and I have an antique hutch that I've bought and will be placing there!!!! I'm so excited about that! Hopefully next Tuesday we can get the hutch here. B is giving me her "old" desk, which is really beautiful, about the same size as what I have already and we're getting rid of this heavy, old thing we have.

I am really blessed with the furniture and fillings we have in our home, now if I could only get decluttered, organized, and just keep things clean. Oh wouldn't that be wonderful! Right now I have cheerio's all over the place and I'm simply too lazy to clean them up right now. It's going to get done TONIGHT though. I also HAVE to get my bedroom done. It's awful and I hate going in there, because it is depressing. If I can get my bedroom done next week, we're then looking at Thanksgiving and then the next day we'll be putting up our Christmas decorations!!!! I LOVE decorating for Christmas. LOVE IT!

Ok, well I should go. I need to go pick up my boys who are at SAS, get home make dinner, start laundry, and oh yeah the CMA's are on tonight for ME so I'll be watching!

Not Me Monday

I have not wished Chad was home to he can help me clean my mess of a house that was just clean last week.

I have not wanted to run away from my sick kids over this past weekend.

I did not thank GOD that I have not been blessed with twins, after having Emma and baby girl last week!

I am not in denial that my stomach is starting to hurt, I can not be getting sick again, nope not me.

I do not talk to Emily on the phone for hours in the evening once my children are in bed, while SHOULD be sleeping, not me, I do not count down the minutes until I can call her!

I did not take a nap on Friday at 11 AM until 1 PM with Emma and Jackson, not me I am far more productive in my home than that.

I am not glad that I don't have to get up at 4:15 AM every morning anymore, I do not hate early mornings. I did not enjoy going back to bed and did not surely pray all the kids would just sleep until 9 am.

I did not sign up to do Childcare for Hospitality House for this coming Friday, not me, I'm not that crazy, again.

Ok...so if you want to play, click on the link above and read the rules and play along!!!

Will it ever end?

Ok so Emma's still battling her oh so pleasant bowel issue's. This morning about 7:30 I get a call from B, they obviously had a late start and said she was bringing Jacob home, he'd thrown up in their van as they were heading out. They took him back to their place to get him changed, and then brought him home. They didn't end up going, they still had to clean out their van from Jacob's little gift, but it ended up good for them, they had a lot to do today, and it allowed them to get it done since everything will be closed tomorrow for Veteran's Day.

So Jacob got home and oh the fun began, that poor boy threw up so much and then the bowel issue's began too. He napped off and on throughout the day. About 4 he said he was feeling better. He's been good since. I told him the bowel issue's would probably hang around for a few days, but hopefully the vomitting is done with. I'm sure Jackson's next. I have a couple windows open to "air out the place".

I have a lovely cold so it's just good times all around. I will say that it's only November and I'm done with us being sick. Hopefully we get it all done and over with early this year and that will be it! So if you'll pray, I'd appreciate it!!

I had to cancel Emma's first dentist apt and reschedule it. The lady in our dentist office was really rude, and said that since I didn't cancel 24 hrs ahead of time it'd be shown as a "no show" I told her I didn't care, unless she wanted me bring in kids that were vomitting and had diarreah, and told her my family comes first. Army life is good, really over all it is, but sometimes it's just rediculous. The boys have an apt in a few more days and depending on where they're at when they call to confirm, I may reschedule theirs too. It'd be nice if I could get all 3 on the same day right in a row, we'll see!

I am dealing with guilt over B and her family canceling their trip today. I know they got a lot done, but still they really aren't going to get to do anything it looks like before they leave for the states now. I know I had no control, but it was "my" child that got sick. She called and told me not to feel bad, but well it just seems to be hanging on any ways. I am trying to come to terms of her leaving too. When I first returned from our trip to the states it hit me like a ton of bricks and then it didn't look like they were going to leave and then last week when we found out they were. I don't think it's completely sunk in, yet the reality is here. There's just this sadness that seems to be hanging over me. Taking a deep breath here. I have yet to break it to the boys. I want to wait until they have a date, but who knows when that's going to be and I don't want to give them only a week notice. I may sit down with them tonight and do that. Say a prayer for all of us when I do that please.

I'll do my "Not Me Monday" later, once the kids are all in bed.

Sunday

I love Sunday's. It's my favorite day of the week. I love going to church and praising Jesus with fellow believer's (I do it throughout the week too, but for fellow church goer's you understand the importance of this!). I love seeing how God's working on others and so often during a sermon, I often see our Lord working on at least one person there and it's so amazing to see it right there in front of me, now often he's kicking me in the butt, showing me just what it is I need to see and work on, let go of, etc.

Unfortunately I didn't get to go to church today. Emma's still battling that intestinal bug and it's still working it's way out of her so to speak! She's as happy as she can be, but oh it's a nasty bug we'll say that....stinky! LOL We all slept in this morning. The boys made HUGE progress on their bedroom, enough that I let them go to B's for a playdate. Then Jacob came home and grabbed an over night bag. He's going to a swimming resort type place up by Berlin tomorrow with them. They invited me to go, but it was not something I'd budgetted so I passed. So tomorrow Jack and I are going to make cookie's per his request. My Great Grandma's Applesauce Raisin Cookies and Chocolate Chip Cookies. We're also going to walk B's dog, so when we go over in the evening to take Lola out we'll be leaving a plate of cookies for them! Jack and I are going to do school work too. I am going to finish up my laundry.

Tonight I made broccoli cheddar soup, I messed up on it so it wasn't as good as it should have been. I had not made it before, but it was my fault. I added the cheese too soon. So next time I know better. I still liked it, but Jack wasn't liking the consistency of it and he's on a whole anti broc. kick, although anytime we go out and I order it the boy can't eat enough of MY soup! ROFL!! I'll try it again in a few weeks. Jacob was really disappointed he wasn't going to be here for dinner! When I tell him I messed up I can ease the disappointment! Later this week I'm making potato soup, I'm REALLY looking forward to that! I also need to make a new menu for the next two weeks so when I go grocery shopping later this week I am all set. I love soups and want to add more to our menu for the winter. It's chilly here and the perfect weather for them! Plus most Sunday's we have Awana from 4:30-6 and having a dinner that's in the crock pot waiting for us is the perfect answer! So if you have any good soup recipe's that at least can be thrown into the crock pot to keep warm while we're out, share them! I'm NOT a fan of spicy/hot things though.

I do have a prayer request beside's Emma. Keep Jacob and our friends in your prayers for tomorrow. They're getting up early in the morning, 4:30 AM and want to be on the road by 5 am. They will have a 3 hr drive ahead of them, then will be swimming all day, then a 3 hr drive home. So please pray for safe driving, that T is alert when driving, and for the other drivers out on the German Autobahn (it's the same as an interstate/freeway in the US...only CERTAIN spots do not have speed limits, although on our side of Germany, most area's do have a speed limit and they all have a RECOMMENDED). I'm not worried about Tim driving too fast, just for him to get enough rest tonight and not be too tired tomorrow evening coming home.

Have a blessed Sunday!

It's Been A Long Saturday

Well this day has really went on forever. It's only 11:30 PM and it feels like it should be at least 2:30 AM! I know you're thinking "why aren't you in bed then" but that would be because I took a nap with Emma and Jackson.

This morning I had just woke up via a phone call from B discussing what time we were going to meet to go to a Basket Factory (they make the baskets right there, they're so beautiful and can last around a hundred years...yes 100 years!). So, I told her what time I'd be by to get her, was going to drop my boys off at her place and then we would be off! Not 20 minutes later, I'm cuddled up t a still sleeping Emma and she wakes up, sits up and pukes. It hit the arm of my shirt (long sleeve) and all over the bedding. I got her and I cleaned up and called B and told her I wasn't going to be able to go. (Oh we were meeting friends from The Hospitality House there). Her and her husband, Jacob, and her kids went ahead and went. I'd had her son B for the last two nights so it was nice to have a bit of a break.

So I get Emma and I all cleaned up. I go into the kitchen to hurry the boys up and get them out the door (Jacob and Little B) and she threw up again down my back (ahhh yes, nothing like vomit in your hair and down the back of your shirt). So I jump in the shower with Emma, get cleaned up, and I hadn't gotten a diaper on her, yet and she was walking around as I got dressed (happy as could be) and I could hear her in the kitchen with the boys and as I walk from my bedroom to the kitchen there it is...oh yes come on you all know what it is....NOT puke! Diarreah. Oh the morning was just getting better and better. So get that all cleaned up, get a diaper on little butt, and shove the kids out the door, reminding Jacob to BE GOOD and behave. Jack who'd said he didn't want to go, proceeds to start crying because of course now he WANTS to go. Too late I say. By now, we're settling down on the couch to rest. Emma's cuddled up in my arms and I just feel overwhelmed to SLEEP. At this point Emma is sleeping and I just can't fight it. Jack comes and asks if he can lay at the other end of the couch, "of course you can buddy" and there we are...3 people, 3 blankets, 3 passed out in 5 minutes! We napped for 2 hours. Well Emma and I napped for 2 hours, Jack was 2 1/2 hrs! I was actually worried he was getting sick, but nope I think he was just exhausted from the late nights of having B over, watching movies, and having fun...and getting up at the crack of dawn. INSANE children! LOL
So although my body is aching, sore, and tired...my mind is still going 100 miles an hour! Of course!

Emma's sleeping in my bed because like a bad Mommy when she woke up this morning she'd slept all night in her crib, and she woke up screaming (not unusual..she HATES the crib in the mornings! LOL) I was half asleep and just picked her up. Well tonight I went to lay her down in the crib and what do I find...puke. She'd gotten sick in her bed and I had NO IDEA. So I win "worst mommy of the day" award for that miss. I wouldn't have been so SHOCKED when she threw up on me later! So is life though, right?!

Everyone's sleeping now. Jacob got home about 5 this evening. Jack spent his afternoon playing with the neighbor boy, so they had a good amount of free time outside and out of the apartment and away from all the germs. (I do have windows cracked to help and get rid of them).
They cleaned their bedroom tonight, it's not done but they made a huge amount of progress. Of course I had to go all crazy on them to get it through their heads that this Momma was NOT messing around with the disaster zone. Now if I could only follow my own demands on my own bedroom. I did do something though. I obviously had bedding to wash, so that was all washed, bed remade...but I also started on laundry. I got 4 loads washed and dried. I have not folded and put away anything yet, I'll do it tomorrow.

We're not going to church in the morning since the last diaper of Emma's I changed tonight was virtually water. I don't want to expose other children to her and this bug. I'm so thankful I nurse her, so I know she's getting everything she needs via breastmilk. She also did eat today. She found a new love affair with saltine crackers. She ate a few bites of soup at lunch. She actually ate some dinner, so that was good anyways. Oh and she only threw up those two times...it's just been about 10 or more diarreah diapers throughout the day and evening. She had about one an hour, not including the first accident. I will say this, Emma is going to have one strong immune system! The boys have stayed pretty healthy so far this year, so their immune systems are in good shape! Emma seems to have the same bug I had 2 weeks ago. Hopefully the boys don't end up with it, but I can't really prevent them from getting it. Emma obviously got it from someone else than me, since it's been exactly two weeks since I came down with it. It's one of those bugs that's going around everyone here on post though. The boys are at least old enough that if they do get it, they can pretty well make sure they get to the bathroom. Hopefully I do not have to clean up anymore throw up! YUCK!!

Well...I'm off to read more blogs and go check on laundry! I'm going to read a book too! I came across the Yada Yada Prayer Group books, they were on the free shelf at our library! So I have started reading one! So far I'm really enjoying it. I've only read a few pages of course, but I've also heard some really great things! I have two more books sitting here that I am looking forward to reading too, Karen Kingsbury's Ever After and Lori Wick's Whispers of Moonlight. I'll probably start on one of those in a week or so, once I've read my Yada Yada book. Of course that depends on how this week goes and how much reading time I get! :)

Tchuess (bye in German)

You're Going To Miss This

If you click on the picture above you'll go to Pam's blog who's started this weekly meme. This is my first time and it's a fairly new meme, so I hope lots of you will come and join in. Ultimately we're to share things either from the past or present that we're going to miss that's in our lives from kids, spouses, places we live, etc. Life....!

1. I'm going to miss my children being carefree and not understanding the ugliness in this world. I see my 7 1/2 yr old already questioning the ugliness in this world (he asked me what abortion was via the stupid election junk... sad I tell you).

2. I'm going to miss being the one they believe can make all things better for them.

3. I'm going to miss my friend B, who's leaving in a matter of weeks.

4. I'm going to miss listening to my children play with B's children, hearing their laughter, the plays they put on (and make up themselves), their whisper's, their orniness that only little boys possess (girls have it too, but it's a different kind of orniness!).

5. I'm going to miss the look on Emma's face when she see's ME walk in the room, because I'm still the most important person in her world. Wow, the way it makes your heart swell! I still have those moments with my boys, but if you're a Momma you know that it changes as they get older...there's more great things in this world and you're not the only wonderful thing!

6. I miss the feeling of riding a horse. The freedom I've always felt when the horse is running, the wind blowing their my hair. Laughter and tears always come so much easier during that experience.

So...join in! I think I'm going to really love this meme!

Emma's 1 year old pictures

Here are the pictures we had taken of Emma about two weeks ago for her "One Year" pictures. She was NOT happy by the last one, which I think will be quite obvious to all of you! LOL These are the real moments here!!

Recipe

As asked for via Erin ;) The recipe for the Enchilada casserole!

2-3 lbs of ground beef
1 package of dry enchilada sauce mix
1 8oz can of tomato sauce
1 can of enchilada sauce (we use mild, use the one you'd prefer)
enchilada shells (corn shells)
1 large bag of mexican cheese

Cook up ground beef, drain, rinse, and return to skillet, add the CAN of enchilada sauce to your meat and heat up.

In a sauce pan warm up the dry enchilada sauce mix, tomato sauce (and the water....ultimately follow the directions on the sauce mix).

Take 9 x 13 baking dish and spoon in and cover the bottom of the pan with the sauce mix. Then add a layer of your shells, top with meat mixture, and top with a layer of cheese. Repeat, ending with cheese. Cover with foil and place in oven, preheated at 350 degree's and cook until the cheese is melted.

That's it! It's an extremely EASY dish and we all love it! You can serve with a salad, biscuits, or just alone! Enjoy and let me know if you make it and how your family likes it!

I Made It

I finished day 4 of watching my friends children and actually today I had all 3 of her kids, because there was no school today (Parent-Teacher conferences). I will say that in many ways, today was the easiest. Their oldest is only in 1st grade, but she's a classic older child in that she jumps right in and helps with the younger ones. She helped Jacob in cleaning up their bedroom (still a long ways to go, but there is progress). When her baby sister was crying and Emma was crying, she came right in and helped to get her sisters attention and make her laugh! What a blessing that little lady was to me today! I sang her praises to her Daddy, so I hope he went home and sang her praises as well.

Tonight my friend B's son, little B is staying the night. He's Jacob's best friend. Right now they're watching Adventures In Odessy! We love AIO! Great biblical lessons and so fun to watch (or listen to!!). I made Enchilada Casserole for dinner and B had 2nds, he can sometimes be picky, although he knows he must have a thank you bite (his mom's rule that I've sense adopted...ultimately they have to take a bite and say thank you for providing the food, even if they don't like it...gratitude goes a long way). So anyways, he loved it. It's a popular dish in our family. A friend from high school shared it with me once when I went to visit her, when Jacob was a baby (and Chad was deployed to Kuwait...before the Iraq war!). It's one of their family favorites. I have shared it with my brother and it's one of their favorites, and so on....so dinner was wonderful.

I bought some Pringles and let them have some Sunkist. I offered popcorn when we first got home with B, but they never asked me to make it! We use a air popper, no dangerous cancer causing toxins and it's just over all healthier! They LOVE it. Ok they love all popcorn! LOL Anyways, I didn't have to make it and can't say I minded that! LOL

Tomorrow I have to get some laundry done. It's been 1000% neglected all week. I also have to start working on my bedroom. It's awful. I'm going to take a picture of it, for myself and myselly. I'm far too ashamed to ever share it. I can literally barely walk in my room. There's so much in there. Baskets of clothes that need to be packed away, given away, or thrown away. Boxes of various items, boxes of papers that need to be sorted, and just various things stuffed in there because I can close my door and no one needs to see our "dirty little secret". I have our dirty clothes in a bag in there (it's a laundry bag at least), and all the clean clothes one in a hamper and some just piled on top of other things, that need to be put away. I also have a basket of clothes that are Emma's. We were overly blessed by hand me downs, they've been sorted through, but now need to be put away. I've simply been too lazy.

I can blame a bit of the laziness from being tired after the day of extra children, reality is...they were easy, but having 2 girls 15 months and well on Saturday baby girl will be turning 1, well it's work. I have NEVER had a desire for twins and this only confirmed that for me. I'm a whimp! I'm sure if God saw it fit to bless me that way, I'd do fine, we'd find a way for it to work for our family and go on with our life. But it was overwhelming.
Yesterday at PWOC we had a special and at the end we had lunch. Lasagna and speghetti, breads, salads, and yummy cookies! All was fine and then I had to go get the kids. In my brillancy I thought "oh I'll feed them here, then I don't have to go home and make them something"! So the boys made their own plates and I made a plate up for the girls. I had the girls strapped into their high chairs, went to the table to get napkins, and in the 5 seconds of being gone from them, Emma got into the lasanga and started feeding herself and baby girl! Thankfully friends caught her, had her cleaned up for the most part, and pushed the food out of reach. I then proceeded to feed the two most demanding, hungry little girls. If I was feeding one, the other was yelling at me to feed them. It was a REALLY FUN and PEACEFUL process. Thankfully they were done and then it was time to clean up, load up,and head out. The boys had disappeared, so I had to round them up. I felt like I was being pulled in 5 different ways and I literally was. The girls were NOT happy to be strapped into the stroller, especially Emma who thought she should be able to run like the wind, unfortunately she has a Momma who restricts that at times! LOL I found Jackson and little man, and was on the prowell for Jacob. Found him and then the other two boys had disappeared. Oh and during this time I was taking leftovers home, figuring someone would holler the minute we walked into the door they were hungry (and they did...including me! LOL) so I had something to feed them! The younger boys were finally found, outside in front of the chapel with our friends older son (he's watched my children before), but they both still got into trouble for going outside without my permission. Little man I know has done this to him Mom on various occassions, but he understand without a doubt that he was NOT to do that to me ever again.

We finally made it home, both girls wanted to be held. Baby girl wanted some milk, so I got her a sippy cup and made that up for her, Emma wanted to nurse so I did that, then it was nap time for Emma. I got laid down and was sitting in my rocking chair with Baby girl, who was actually sitting beside me and I felt her head fall. I am pretty sure she did not get her morning nap, so she was getting it in one way or another! She only slept for maybe 45 minutes and Daddy showed up to get them. I will say I was pretty wiped out.

After they left and Emma woke up the kids and I walked up the CAC and I got Emma's 1 year pictures. I'll make a new post for them. I loved them! I gave our photographer free editing reign and she did a perfect job!

We had an early dinner, bathtime, and then off to bed they went!

I will not miss getting up at 4:15 AM. Hats off to those who have to, but for those of us who don't...no desire! I always went back to bed once the kids were here and settled. Baby girl went into Emma's crib and went back to bed and little man laid on the couch, watched a movie and fell asleep and our door was locked. I normally got about 3 to 3 1/2 more hours of sleep and I slept hard in those hours, but having them broke up hurts! I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning! The boys are still up watching another dvd of Adventures in Odessy, it's 11 pm! I told them I'll make breakfast burrito's for them, but I think it's going to be more of a brunch. I have fruit to stave them off until I have the desire to make them! LOL

On a somber note....Chad called and sounded sooo down. I had hoped he'd call back, but it's 1 am there now, so that's not going to happen. He called my cell phone too, but it was charging here at home so I missed his call. I feel so bad. I know he's lonely, discouraged, and we haven't been able to talk about the election either so I'm going out on a limb to say he's disappointed in how that turned out as I am. Please pray for him. Pray for his peace of mind, pray that he will get the support and encouragement that he needs there, and that he never feels that God has left him. That he feels the Lord surrounding him at every turn and is holding him tightly.

A True American Hero

He showed amazing grace, gratitude, and a humbleness that no many who are in his position have or could. I'm truly and utterly disappointed in our nation. I am disturbed that any one who professes that Christ is their savior could EVER vote for a man who thinks it's fine to murder babies who are born alive, because they're inconvient for their parents. I'm disappointed that people led with their emotions vs their heads. That some voted because of the color of skin, and not because of where their beliefs lie. We have absolutely made our bed as a nation and we will suffer the consequences.

We had the opportunity to have real change in the White House, leading our Nation. We had the opportunity to have a true American Hero, who was brave enough to stand up to an American Enemy, lead our country. To have a man who's dedicated his whole adult life to serving our nation in one manner or another. Who was brave enough to bring a woman who was unknown to practically everyone, other than those in Alaska, to be his running mate.

You want to be moved, touched, and humbled...take a listen to Senator John McCain give his consession speach. He was elequent, kind, gentle, and brought me to tears.

Now is the time, if you've not already began, to be praying for God's mercy. We deserve EVERYTHING God allows to happen to us. We have made our beds, we've been greedy, selfish, and yes racist in a whole new way. We have thrown our future, our children out like dirty laundry, because they were not perfect, desired, or planned and said they're a burden so lets just murder them. We have given into satan time and time again in lifestyles of greed, ignorance, the list just goes on. We have been ignorant and refused to do research. We've elected a man with virtually no experience, who thinks it's ok to have his church leaders cuss America, who has no issue socializing with terrorists, and thinks we should try and negotiate with Iran. Who has no concept of how the Military runs, never even bothered himself to join a single branch of the military. We're a nation who got swept up with a nice smile, good speaches, and a lot of empty promises that can not be filled.

I am disappointed and heart broken.
I have cried many tears today and will cry even more come January. The knot in my stomach seems to be growing and growing. I believe without a doubt God's wrath is upon us and we deserve every amount of it.

Well America, I hope you're happy. When the promises fall down, when our nation stays in war, and when our deficit coutinues or gets ever worse. When our rights are stripped and our constition is destroyed, remember you voted him in, you voted the Senate and the House in. You wanted change...well you're about to get it. Just remember who is responsible for that change, when it starts falling down around us.

And so goes life

The time has come that I'm going to be in a state of goodbyes. My friend A leaves next month. She actually has her home packed up tomorrow. Pray that all goes well with the packers and movers. Pray that her boys handle seeing their items packed up as well as possible.
As if seeing A leave isn't hard enough. Tonight the phone call I've been dreading came.
B called and her husband got the official word, they are indeed leaving. They must report to their new post in Arizona by Dec. 10. My heart aches.
I want to make something so clear, I KNOW I'll survive and I KNOW we'll be able and will still talk via phone and internet, but it will not be the same. I have spent day after day with B and her family. We hang out so much. We eat meals together almost weekly, sometimes multiple times a week. Jacob and her son are best friends and Jackson loves them too. Emma loves B and I think likes her daughter! LOL We all love B's husband too. Chad and him are good friends and I know he's going to be so disappointed when I talk to him and tell him. We have not told any of our children yet and I've not decided yet when I will. I will talk to B and find out when she's going to tell her son and then probably will tell my boys.

I've done my crying, and am ok right now. Just a sadness is in my heart. It's hard to imagine her not being here. They moved here a year after we did, but since then we've spent so much time together and gotten so close that she is truly like my sister and as she calls me her "Triplett" (she has an identical twin sister). I'm just going to treasure the days and time I have left with her and Thank GOD that he allowed us to cross paths and allowed us to get to know each other and love each other. A friend like B is a rare gift.

Get out there and Vote

Turn off the music on my play list (scroll down to the bottom of my page).

I'm an Army wife, I'm extremely patriotic, and this is one of my husband's very favorite songs, EVER. I don't know of a time I've listened to this song where I've not at least gotten tears in my eyes.

Today is the day we elect a new President. It's one of the most difficult jobs, that I personally would NEVER want, but is so important. They're a defender of our nation, decision makers, although not always the ones who have the final say on those decisions (don't forget the Senate and Congress). They are the ones in which all or most of the blame is laid upon. The men who've held this position, this job have aged tremendously in their 4 to 8 years in service. Beyond just the Presidential election though, we have other positions up for election and they are just as important in many ways. Kansas has Lynn Jenkins running for a Congressional seat for the first time. Her parents are family friends of ours. I love her parents. When I was young, my parents rented a house from them for 3 or 4 years. They became like grandparents and have remained an important part of my life in the last 20 + years. To know that Lynn is in Washington fighting for our state, is amazing to me. So for me that Congressional seat is big. She's running against another woman who has not so much hurt Kansas, but is not one I can support 100% as I can Lynn.

We have to vote with our heads, more than our emotions. A politician may "move" us, but I think we all know that being moved is not all that is important. I don't need to be constantly "inspired" by someone. I need to know that when they're put to the test they're going to go at it head first, with fists clinched, and will not give up until the battle is won. I need to know that their character is strong. I need to know that the people they allign themselves with are for our country and not wanting to see the demise of it.

I need to know that those who are representing us on a local, state, and national level are doing so in their absolute best abilities. I need to know they have experience, where it counts. I want someone to stand up and behind my husband and his job, and that if that person is the one "leading" them, they are doing it with the knowledge that only one who's been in the Armed Forces has. I think it's imperitive that a Commander and Chief be one who has military background or a close family member who's in or been in, and shows me they get what an AWESOME responsibility it is to be in the military and to lead it.

I don't need an organizer, I want a leader.

Not Me Monday

MckMama did not one this week, but hey no one said the rest of us couldn't!! She's a little busy with MckMuffin home, nursing, diapering, you know and juggling 3 others...life's a little busy!

Join in! Just make sure to go to her page and read the RULES! :)

I did NOT agree to take on my friends two kids for 4 days this week, no not me, I'd never be crazy enough to do that!

I did not get less than 4 hours of sleep last night, and now be wired AGAIN. Not me!

Emma did not take off her shoes Saturday night on the way home, then proceed to take off her socks, while we were WALKING (she was in the stroller) and it was only about 35 degree's outside and I did not possibly get down and tell her to knock it off, no not me.

I did not stay up late last night cleaning, because I'm most definately NOT a procrastinator. NOT ME!

I did not yell at my husband via the internet phone last night, he's just in Iraq, in a war zone, missing us, so I most definately would not take what little time we have to get annoyed with him and actually yell at him over something silly. Not me, I'm the ideal Army wife don't you know that?

I did not vote via absentee ballot. Not a chance. I do not care who my husband's next BIG BOSS is, who cares about who the next Commander and Chief is? I don't think it matters if one has military experience and the other has none, not me. I don't care that one wants to take our country into socialism, I think democracy is over rated. No, you see I did not vote, oh no...not me!

With that...did you vote?

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